Ten Rules for dealing with an Alien Intelligence

It's bound to come up sooner or later, so here are some good rules.

1. It's probably just as scared of you as you are of it. Don't be the one to shoot first. Then again, still be ready to fire back.

2. Just because it comes from a reality beyond our own with no native comprehension of our mortal limitations doesn't make it hostile.

3. Some of these intelligences are able to choose the form they take. If it looks like a little kid and is eating a tire iron, it's probably an Alien Intelligence.

4. Even assuming that the Alien Intelligence you are dealing with is not totally hostile, you must be understanding. Flirting with one, for instance, is a futile task at best.

5. And if you're in doubt. . . just let it be.

6. Kill it before it kills you.

There, nothing else needs to be added.

7. See about hitchin a ride.

8. Play some bad 70's synthesized music while a wall of disco lights flashes in rythm so the aliens will know you're friendly, tap out the first few prime numbers so they know you can do math, and speak loudly and slowly so they can understand you. This also works with Alien Intelligences from France.

Six String

9. If it is hostile contact the govenors of CA, or MN.

10. Don -not- under ANY circumstances, ask them about Elvis.

Don't ask, just trust me. It's kinda a sore subject.

/bumpage.

And people should feel free to contribute more than just 10 rules.. there is alot of creativity in this community.. more can be done here.... but not by me.. im not very creative.

11. Do not refer to the alien as a "Prober" or "Cow Eviscerator." Also, calling them "Greys" is no longer PC. Please use the term "Invading American"

12. Just because they do not answer you does not mean they cannot understand you. Do not talk about your method for dissecting them in front of their face or within earshot.

10.1 Earthlings are a versatile host - they are the womb for the Larvae, the food to nourish the body. Do not crush an Earthling for sport. If you kill it, eat it.