Confessions of a Teenage Superhero




I blame computers. They got me into this whole mess. Not any specific one, well... maybe the one I used to access the 'search-a-career' website which leads me to my last job. Who would've thought the most boring job a kid could find would become so interesting.

Before I get into it let me tell you about myself. My name is Newton Edgar Miles. Unfortunate, isn't it? I'd go by Newt, but that’s even stranger than Newton. My father picked it out; he's some big wig mathematician that wanted me to follow in his footsteps. Word to the wise, never name your kid based on what you want them to become, it always backfires. Anyway, I digress. Digress, you like that one? I was an English major, or would've been; had I not failed composition and quit junior college.

I guess that’s what brought me to the lab technician job I so loathed. Okay, so maybe technician wasn't my title; assistant or better yet, peon was probably better suited. I spent most of my time cataloguing and labeling various insulated grey containers, which I was assured contained viscous, and diabolical chemical compounds.

Right, anyway, on to the interesting parts. Everything changed when the Rikti attacked. How’s that for foreshadowing?

The facility I worked at was one of a hundred other Crey Industries sponsored weapons developers. Not that I'd ever seen anything that even looked like a weapon. The title impressed my friends nonetheless. So it was on a fine day in the middle of Spring when the laboratory was rocked by a massive explosion. At first I thought it was just an experiment on one of the upper levels. You kind of get used to hearing strange noises and feeling the odd explosion in this kind of place.

Nevertheless I took the elevator up to investigate. When I arrived at the second floor the doors opened up to reveal a gaping hole where the experiment-lab had been. These, well, aliens in segmented armor were pouring in through the gap. Now I've seen a Rikti monkey before, and they look quite harmless, but the variation of the species these invaders brought with them were nothing but.

A second explosion snapped me out of the mental lull I'd come under. Minimum wage jobs, even located in a suburb of Paragon City, aren’t generally the staging points for alien invasions. When the elevator hit the first floor I stumbled out into a mob of rushing people. All sorts of scientists I'd only ever seen in passing were crowded around one of the large storage containers, covered in those radiation logos.

"We don't have anyone suitable for the experimental suit," one of the scientists said. "It was only built as a display model."

I pushed my way closer to get a look at what they were talking about. Inside the case was the coolest looking thing I'd ever seen. It was some sort of cybernetic suit, complete with those big boots and gloves you only ever see in old anime. My nose was practically pressed against the glass when I heard the same scientist speak again.

"Newton!" he boomed, as I quickly backed away, afraid I'd upset something.

"Errr, what?" I replied in a voice meant to absolve me of any crime.

"We have this suit, but it wasn't meant to house an adult." said the scientist, who started speaking faster as obvious excitement tinged his voice.

"It’s designed specifically to battle Rikti, we've been working on it for months." he continued.

"Errr...what?" I said again. Now I'm not slow in the head by any means, but when aliens invade your minimum-wage job and scientists are talking too fast to be understood, anyone would be a bit shocked.

The scientist practically yelled this time, "Newton, we need you. Jonas, help him into the suit."

After a few minutes, and a few more explosions from upstairs I was into the suit. Another scientist walked over to me and stuck a syringe into my arm.

"Oww, what the hell?" I said, as he blotted at the rivulet of blood rising from my arm.

"It’s a physical stimulant we've been working on, without it you couldn't operate the suit."

The plan was, I would take this alien-proof suit upstairs and scare off the Rikti invaders. I thought it was a terrible plan, but then again its not every day you get to wear a cool robot suit and save the day, so I agreed.

Moments after I made my decision, while they were unclamping the suit from its supports and activating its systems, there was another massive explosion. This one was much larger, and much more devastating.

The supply room upstairs must have been hit by Rikti fire, as the entire facility seemed to quake and a strong smell of ozone filled the air. The building shook again as yet another explosion rocked it. The fourth was all it could take before the ceiling caved in and everything went dark.

The next thing I remembered was waking up. I opened my eyes and the world was a green mist. At first I thought it was the suit's visor, but when I tried to take a breath I could taste the strange substance in the air. My suit was somehow freed from the container, and I was able to stand up and survey the area. All the scientists were dead, from the collapsed ceiling or the energy weapons carried by the also dead Rikti laying around them. The fallen Rikti each had small glowing pock-marks on their armored suits.

The same glowing substance seemed to cover my gloved hands and slowly I began to remember. I'd been awake, I'd been awake and fighting the Rikti. How was I fighting Rikti? Obviously it had something to do with my hands glowing and the holes in their armor emitting the same glow.

Oh yah, I was fighting the Rikti and one knocked me down. Like I said, I'm not slow, and it only took a second for me to realize there was at least one Rikti still alive. Turning I felt a mailed fist smash into the helmet/visor which covered my face. There he was. The blow sent me reeling back but I kept my feet. The alien reached back over his shoulder and pulled out what had to be the most unnecessarily large bladed weapon in existence, and it was clear what he intended to do with it.

I began backing away and suddenly remembered the whole bit about my gloves glowing. I threw them both forward like I was throwing a chest-pass in basketball. Nothing happened. Maybe there was a battle cry or code-word to my newly acquired powers.

"Allakaz...Shi-" I screamed as the massive Rikti blade glanced off one of my gloved hands, denting the green-hued metal.

I had no idea how these powers worked, and in a few seconds I was going to be killed by an absurdly large weapon. So I did what the next guy would do when confronted with this sort of situation. I started to laugh. It was slow at first, but as I stumbled away from the alien it built into a constant, uncontrollable chuckle. That’s it, part of my brain thought, you've finally lost it.

The world went green again, this time I remembered why. Twin beams shot from my eyes and filtered through my helmets optics system. The beams struck the surprised Rikti in the chest and sent it sprawling to the ground, bearing the same glow of its fallen comrades. I fell back and hit my head hard and the green burst into silver and slowly faded to black.

That’s when I woke up, and that’s when I started dictating this story using my suit's recording function. In case I don’t make it out of here, I want people to know that Newton Edgar Miles was a hero.



Well, I survived. The entire invasion seemed to span days, but in truth it only lasted a few hours. When I climbed out from the wreckage my former place of employment I found the entire city up in arms against the alien threat. Heroes of all sorts were flying, leaping, and running to the various threatened areas.

Having just obtained my powers, I wasn't really gung-ho about jumping right into the body of the battle, so I straggled a bit. Hey, I'm a kid who just went through a traumatic experience, cut me a little slack.

Now I didn't hide, I just sort of, well, skirted the main body of action. There were all sorts of features of my suit to explore, and I wasn't even sure if my powers were permanent. I can't say I feel any different, but obviously something drastic has happened to me. It must have been some reaction between the serum I was given and the bursts of radiation. But like I said before; math and science is all Greek to me.

In the days after the invasion my powers steadily grew, and so did my hair. What used to be a short, black 'boys-cut' standard issue haircut became a shock of spiked white hair. I tried cutting it a few times, only to find it grown back in a matter of hours. It wasn’t limited to just my head either, my face decided to start playing cruel tricks. Now, a lot of kids are eager to get into the whole business of growing facial hair, I guess it sort of marks your ascent into adulthood or something, but I didn't buy into that. I now had a spiky beard that shot right out from my jaw. Sure, it looked pretty cool, but I would’ve been much happier with a trimmed goatee. Seriously fate, work with me here.

Joining the ranks of heroes in Paragon City was an obvious conclusion. I mean, these powers were kind of a gift, and I really should use it for good - I guess. But fighting crime isn't what it’s all cut out to be. I expected the whole, busting up gang wars and flying around blasting every baddie in sight. I soon found that it involves a lot of getting vomited on by poorly resurrected zombies and riding the metro. Out of all the new powers I've uncovered, flight doesn't seem to be one of them. I can't say I'm not disappointed. When you think of the greats, you think of them flying around doling out justice.

Oh well, at least the train is free for heroes.