imported_FaeryFire

Back from Wyoming where she was discussing the future of the young Rakila, Sword of Truth ended in Pocket D, invited by Coile.
Nightsparrow, also present, seemed to have recover from her trauma and loss of memory.
The trio engaged into chitchatting until Nightsparrow decided to resume old traditions : teasing Coile.
The teasing had already begun with Sword reminding Coile the embarassing aspects of being suddenly the "father" (at least the one taking care) of a teenager girl (the said Rakila) when Nighsparrow started her song of love to Coile ears. Coile was finally baffled to learn everything was just a joke from Sparrow... is it really ?
Discussions also oscillated to manly interests, without being a real success, girly stuff looking to be much more funny.
Our heroes also met Hand of Sorrow, Jessica Raven and Martel Spoons (?) while Nightsparrow was exchanging "sweet words" with a woman called Siduri.
Discussions then turned a bit more serious when Martel raised Coile and Sword interest by evocating Crey Industries. But the enigmatic man didn't explain more.
After the late arrival of Love Angel and Y.Freeza, Sword and Coile left Pocket D with those two new companions for Faultline and some mysterious project.
And Angel is dreaming of wedding rings...

Ghost Tiger Investigations ran an informal meeting at Steel Canyon police station yesterday.
It all started when Spellsong encountered the GTI secretary, Winter Heart, in a Steel street, harassed by several electricity throwing Oucasts.
Spellsong led Winter to the closer police station, a place where the detective is often hanging these days, due to increased Tsoo activity.
Informed of Winter presence at the station, Pyranha quickly arrived but the fears of de facto leader of GTI were soon dissipated when she realized Winter wasn't under arrest.

The three women discussed the situation of Winter Heart mother disappearance, a mystery that is still total for them.
Winter's mother vanished totally after a visit to Pyranha appartment.
The regular and first magical investigations led to nowhere.

The detective agency decided, at Spellsong suggestion, to restart the research, interrogating neighbours, looking for odd police reports in Pyranha flat area and so on.

Winter Heart also announced her will to learn more naming magic from Spellsong, asking for new "word books". Something Spellsong turned down at that time, explaining Winter Heart has already to practice the basics of the art before resuming the theoritical studies.

Testerday night, Coile from the Silent Tempest called for the help of his fellow teammate Star Crusader.
Led by Melanie, it looked that Lady Cobra was slowly dying from a viral infection.
Star Crusader, due to his really alien origin, is relatively competent in medical affairs and notably in genetics.
After a quick analysis and a temporary treatment, the alien adviced that Lady Cobra should get a more regular but permanent treatment to cure from her viral disease.
Under the care of Melanie, Lady Cobra stayed at the Silent Tempest base, weakened but safe for a moment.
The discussion then slowly focused on Melanie, who is believed to be the thought dead Nightsparrow.
The Sword of Truth and Coile pointed at some holes in the cosy theory of a six years coma afflicting Melanie.
After awhile, Melanie started to accept the possibility she wasn't in a coma but rather forgot the past six years as Nightsparrow. Coile testing her reflexes also helped to prove it.
Rakila came speaking with the trio as Lady Cobra was resting, to find herself more or less lectured by Coile about the need for her to get a proper heroic license, something Rakila is reluctant to do.
Later joined by Subaiku, Coile and Sword went to Madison Place where murderous jugglers and fire wielders were doing cruel and criminal pranks to the local citizens.
During the ensuing fight, encouraged by Coile to push a bit more the test of her physical abilities, Melanie performed suprisingly well. Or not so surprising... if she is Nightsparrow like everyone is telling her.

A great Inquirer issue again !

Yesterday, Coile from the Silent Tempest led a team of heroes to a parallel world dominated by Clockworks. Despite their associated might, Coile, the Sword of Truth, Keening Banshee and Shydow Flysh weren't able to fulfill the mission objective when the massive local version of Babbage stood in front of them.
Delaying this operation for later, now knowing what they have to face, the heroes were then sent into a Crey stronghold.
That place, discovered by Sword of Truth previous work with Portal Corps, looked to be an important place, heavily guarded by Paragon Protectors.
Sword of Truth, indeed, was hoping to find her original self, said to be detained since months by Crey, a fact made known public by an stunning revelation from the Paragon Inquirer.
After Shydow Flysh departure, joined by Rakila and later Love Angel, the Silent Tempest heroes had to fight many long and tough battles against the Protectors.

Sadly, not only Sword didn't find her original, not only she didn't find a clue about where she could be detained but she also learned the Revenant Hero Project is flawed : many clones created by the Project becoming increasingly paranoid, look to share thoughts in a surprising hive consciousness, finally becoming hostile to whoever is not belonging to that hive mind.

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I have no idea what Spellsong actually means with name magic, but since people have commented on that, I'm now curious. Is there some existing tradition what 'name magic' is on CoH?


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None as far as I know.
Several traditions and beliefs are giving much power to peoples names.
Spellsong name magic theme is a mix of various sources. I found developping the "Spellsong tradition" interesting.
The results are that I set various rules to her magic and I now have to think about ways to use her powers. I find it more stimulating than just saying "and I cast a spell which..."

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Only if (as far as we can tell), she walked. Without anyone seeing her. Or ever buying anything. No airport logs, cars on camera, train tickets, financial transactions...

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I agree. Just that Spellsong worded the "vacation" theory when told the mother couldn't be found. She didn't have that much details at that moment.
The easy and mundane explanation before imagining terrible plots with otherworlds, demons and mutants involved

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Now, what's all the fuzz of a mother being missing? People vanish inexplicably ALL the time. Maybe she went to Aruba or something...

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The first theory from Spellsong was Winter Heart's mother went on vacation

A deeper mystery... When Winter Heart decided to have a break from this world, her mother disappeared as well.
Spellsong came to Ghost Tiger Investigations offices to meet Pyranha.
After a brief chat about Winter Heart progress in magic, Spellsong was startled by the sudden and spectacular arrival of Inago, who decided to jump from the street right into the office through the window. Save the said window was shut earlier. Inago crashed through it and had the pleasure to be obliged to try to fix the mess afterward.
The discussion about Winter Heart's mother went from the most mundane theory ("maybe she just went on vacation ?") to the esoteric possibilities.
Spellsong wondered if Winter Heart just didn't send away her mother by accident or impulsiveness, using the "name magic" she is starting to learn.
Another investigation is starting.

Last days were seeing the Sword of Truth just avoiding others. Since the release of the last issue of the Paragon Inquirer, things just went clearer for her while, at the same time, just move the end of her life as she is knowing currently it a bit closer.
Chatting with Love Angel, listening Searing Red comments in Pocket D didn't really change her mind.
Love Angel, in a very cute and romantic way, finally accused both Sword and Coile (with emphasis for Sword) of cowardice by refusing to go on.
Reality is Sword cannot accept to live the life of someone else, a stolen life, the one of Nadia Forester, the original.
Sword just got some indirect support from Phiseeque who, at least, appeared to understand her point of view.

Coile, falling into a pit of despair, just looks at a grim future, unwilling to let go a clone he is loving to get back an original he loved.

My favorite in the last serie is "05 - Lem again".

Misundertansing cleared (I think)

Humm... Most of the time, you're playing Inago. You know we play our ST characters almost everyday. That's not big news.
You can also check your global friend list and see who we are playing.
So, if you want to play Steel Guard, I assume you have all posibilities to know when we are online and playing ST characters (ie : every day, can be confirmed with a glance on the global list)

Now, if you want, we can warn you. But be prepared to be warned every day then.

All who were present that day ?

The Sword of Truth resumed her search of a Crey complex that might hold the answers to her questions. With no results.Joined by Coile, she went to the devastated area known as the crash site.
Both, they fought in the streets alongside soldiers against the Rikti invaders. Among the ruins, on the battlefield, Sword somewhat found solace for a time.
Later, Coile mustered the Silent Tempest after hearing news about cat folk attacks or, at least, some kind of feral people.
Dustine and Phiseeque answered, as well as Sword.
They patrolled Paragon City until they met groups of lunatics exhibing claws and feline behaviour, led by Bobcat, a figure of disturbing similarities with a famous hero.

Despite all their efforts, the heroes were unable to completely defeat Bobcat herself.
Coile then called for more aid and Plutonix as well as Veskit answered the call.
With renewed vigor, the six heroes quickly dispatched Bobcat, ending her reign.

Night coming, all Tempest heroes retreated to their base where Phiseeque informed them about mysterious adbuctions of city athletes.
An operation to investigate all of this is going to happen soon, to Phiseeque initiative.

And, finally, left alone, Coile and Sword discussed once again the intricaties of life, love and if clones deserve to live the life of the original.

Correct. I reordered and edited my list for clarification and ending puting him in the Cirque.

Now, Harlequin never spoke about his SG so... I'll put him on "unafiliated", from Sword IC point of view

The last days were put under the sign of failure for the Sword of Truth.
With Coile, she looked in the ruins of the Rikti war, watching Crey activities.
Her quest led her to nowhere and her fears weren't put to an end.
Since weeks, question about herself were raised. How does it come she is still able to stand and fight while she was persuaded she was going to lose all heroic abilities by forfeiting her principles and her own rules by opening love Coile ?
She handwaved away those questions until Coile made a point speaking about her ability to outrun cars. Even if one could consider Sword was gifted enough to still fight the regular heroes opponents (a theory that doesn't already hold water much), outrunning a car is beyond the human level of abilities.
When Sword finally faced a clone of herself, having the same memories than her, her mind was overwhelmed by boudt about her own identity and existence.

Yesterday, again, alongside with Coile, Dark Rose, Dustine and Phiseeque from the Silent Tempest, Keening Banshee from the Militia, New Moon from the Cirque and Harlequin Noir, she had her own reason to fight. Tagging with the heroes in their operations against Crey, she was looking frantically for clues about her own personal ties to Crey Industries.

With no results.

I was just saying I was confused about Ethan choices, thoughts.

Comments about first chapter (didn't read the second yet)

First, maybe nitpcking and can be tied to language issue :
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She was a pretty woman, just turned twenty-two, with flowing red hair, and delicate facial features, her body toned to the near-ideal degree, with all the curves in all the right places

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The character starts being pretty , but then evolves to near ideal to finally ends having everything at the right places.
I then started to build a mental picture of a nice looking woman but not a wonderful beauty. Then, I realized such character is apparently more beautiful than I thought.
And then I saw it as being truly a beauty, someone I wouldn't have call only "pretty" in first place


While the Marcone are getting a description. Outcasts are mentionned without any explanation (yet ?).
However, the Trolls are getting a scene but we don't know how they look, what they do, why or even why they are called Trolls.

***

I was confused about Ethan intents after the car park scene.
Was he going to pursue the "Marcone goons" ?

Then comes Mind Sweeper. And the "Marcone goons" are completely out of the story.

I was under the impression Mind Sweeper is passing over Ethan car just as he exited the car park. But where are the Marcone ? Long left ?

It might be as you say that Mind Sweeper is " shooting off towards some unseen crime" without explicit mention of the Marcone.

Actually, the setting you are creating is fun to read. The life of someone in a town of supers.

However, when I started to read the last scene about Trolls, I was wondering why Ethan was finally talking/intervening/interacting with such dangerous boys.

As he casually calls the Trolls to move, despite a possible danger (after all, you mention they are throwing rocks at each other for fun), I was wondering if Ethan expected to see a super coming.

Then I recalled the car park scene.
Ethan looked to be willing to help at first but slowly, this intent fades into nothingness and we find him just dirving home.

****

The text starts focusing on Ethan, his work, a discovery, his boss, a company, then a kidnapping !!!
But after, the story is stalling with a tour of the city and events.
I enjoyed the events and the humour but I was more willing to know about Ethan and everything else. Or, at least, know more about the setting from Ethan thoughts or comments.

I wasn't able to determine if Ethan was blasé by all the supers around or still a bit amazed, if he expects them to be here to not.
That sort of things.

Now I only read the first chapter. Maybe I'll learn more after.

Good writing.

I also agree work on "Cass 03" is great.

But, as a whole, all the conceptual drawings are real nice. It is baiting us all for waiting for finished pics.

How I understand it is he accepted the dare and will include it in his novel.
Not that he is going to post it on the boards.

But if I'm wrong, yes, better to forget about posting it here.

Depending on how you plan to structure your whole story :
- for an introduction, I believe you can let elements still in the dark as you are going to define them later.
"Riktis" for example are identified as aliens but we know nothing more. I think it's ok as we don't see any in this piece of story.
However, "cryotank suited men" is an actual sight. The average reader, not playing CoH, will probabaly think "what are cryotank suited men, how do they look ? Why CRYOtank ?"
Who the guards are can probably be left for later development.
But "cryotank suited men" is a sight.

But, again, if it's only a introduction, baiting the reader, it's ok.
Just don't forget who your target audience will be.

- the setting is vague. "desolate landscape of destruction" could be a WW1 no man's land here. We don't know where we are.
"crash site zone" is implying a crash. But what crashed ?
"the shimmering form of the long since downed Rikti mothership" ?
I just feel it is unclear.

- now

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Only a pulsating laser transmitter guarded by the Rikti was enough to draw Coile and Sword in, but even so only for a moment, until utter destruction was complete. There were no Rikti survivors

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is useless.
Because it doesn't bring anything in the story. That's why it is just mentionned.
If fighting the Riktis helps to understand something about the setting, about the characters, expand it to a scene.
There comes again the abscence of description.
If our two heroes are fighting Riktis, I can expected a description, even a short one. Something that move the "Riktis" from a name mentionned to real (even background) characters.

Maybe can you merge that event, only mentionned, into the setting description to add flavour ? Maybe dropping the reference to a fight unless you have something to say to the reader ?


***
Comments after only one reading.First impressions.

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Pyranha is convinced she can't do anything that would change history and in fact anything she is going to do, she has to do, since she already did so in the past.

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Now throw in the fact any moment in the future will be "the past" farther in the future

The more I think about that move, the more I believe it's the most appropriate place.

Calm night yesterday

Coile summoned Sword of Truth by his side, soon joined by Lady Cobra.
The trio used Portal Corps technology to reach another dimension and fight an alternate version of the Clockworks.
It appeared Coile was waiting for someone else who never showed up.

Later, the Silent Tempest regrouped to prepare about their coming operations.