craban

IT HAS BEGUN!

Let nothing deter you from the fight! WE SHALL OVERCOME! WE SHALL TRIUMPH!

The campaigning is paying off! The Devs are running scared now - completely silent and hiding in their little holes...

And the mighty Statesman is cowering in his own sad little world too, because he knows we are a united front against him.

Soon the nerfs of the past will be a bad dream, a warning for future generations of the danger of pride and how close we came to losing everything, we need only fight a little longer.

VOTE FOR ME! And VOTE STATESMAN OUT!

Not if Statesman has his way... for there will be only ONE SERVER, all of us, crushed together like digital sardines, so he can save himself money and fatten his gullet with our fees. He rules us like a petty king who shows only contempt for his subjects!

HE MUST BE STOPPED!

Vote for me - VOTE AGAINST STATESMAN!

Show the Devs that you do care about the future of the game... and that future does not have Statesman's poorly thought-out and probably narcotically induced "visions".

DOWN WITH STATESMAN!

My friends, fellow inmates, complete loons... lend me your ears- ohcrapIdidn'tmeanthat PUT THEM BACK ON!

Ahem....

Listen to me, this is important.

I know we have a lot of fun here, lots of silliness, lots of mayhem, but I have now a very seious, very important issue to talk to you about.

Many of you have been here for some time, driven mad by the very thing you onced loved, locked away for believing the lies of a single man... Statesman, whose name must be synonamous with Statan, the Great Deceiver, the Prince of Darkness... the Evil One.

For he sold us the stars and gave us naught but dirt and misery! We bought his promises of a better tomorrow and now we are worse off than ever thanks to him and his bizzare, everchanging, and never explained "vision". He nerfs us again and again and demands that anyone who so much as offeres a single complaint be dragged out into the street! It is time to face reality, my friends, time to face the fact that Statesman has betrayed us, has led us to doom and destruction.

It is time for him to go.

I ask you now, with all my heart, to support me as I attempt to remove this vile cancer from our midst, to remove STatesman from power, to put the people back into the institution they created, to bring the glory of the past back and usher in a new and better future.

Help me, help yourselves, help your fellow man.... a vote for me is a vote against Statesman. Show him in the election that we are tired of suffering at his behest and that it is time for a change.

Thank you.

Do not ask Statesman to deny it... for you will have to submit the correct form in triplicate and wait six weeks for a response...

IT IS TIME FOR CHANGE!

It is time we vote this miserable cretin out of the office he abuses on a daily basis!

And where is he now? Galavanting across the country? Spending our money on his entertainment? Dancing girls and cheap scotch in seedy motels, no doubt!

IT IS OUTRAGEOUS!

It must be stopped!

Vote for me, and we will revolutionize this game, make it what it once was, and end this disgusting display of carelessness from the man called "Statesman"... for it is clear he cares only for himself!

I was going to say something but I completely forgot who I am.

I think I just suffered a reality crisis.

Quick! Apply the vodka!

TAKE IT BACK!

*jumps on NewAgeKnight's head and tries to pull it off by yanking on his ears*

Isn't she dead?

And don't think we don't appreciate that.

*lops off Evil_Shadow's head with rusty straight razor and fills his neck with squirrels*

I call it, "Man In Repose With Squirrel."

Once and never again, will the darkened age of man reclaim the throne he has behest to the others, less enlightened in this day of fading ideas where we sow nothgin that we reap and claim anything that does not run away dashing through the snow and hoping to be the only one of its kind to escape but it will never do for the sole idea that brings us back to the day we lost it all is the fact that if we hadn't acted as we did more things would have been gained and the momentum very likely would have blasted us into the very bowls of space, hungry and open like a newborn mouth, eager to feed and demanding of time and effort though it gives little in return except misery and poor words.

Break all your bones and still you will not find the courage to confront the evil that lies in your own brain, for it is there, lurking in the mind, waiting for the chance to break free and act out its base desires, damning your soul to an eternity of regret and tax forms. I curse the day we met, but nothing cna change things the way they were nor the way they will be unless it is the power inside each of us, that unknown factor that allows us to rise above the norm and claim the stars as presents for our children, alone and misbegotten, but well meaning nonetheless.

If your brain turned to cheese you would not know it.

If I grabbed your eyes and twisted until they popped like rotten grapes and ran down your face in liquid shame you would not know what had ahppened unless I told you. For you are the sheep, ready for the shearing and I have nothing for which to give you that you do not already own.

Thus is the word spoken, haltingly and backwards but never without intent.

LIAR!

FILTHY DIRTY LIAR!

May a thousand and one brain leeches attach themselves to your frontal lobes and do the monkey dance, you rotten vile evil LIAR!

SOMEBODY TELL ME SOMETHING!

I desire to call someone a liar.

Now you notice? I thought the sign at the top of the stair said it all.

*closes eyes and begins hitting people at random with a leg of lamb*

I ain't a machine!

Oh my gosh, I just realized... POSTIT YELLOW IS MADE FROM CPU'S! THEY'RE MADE FROM CPUUUUUUU'S!!!!!

I shall now peel off me skin and dance to the tune of "Sophie's Waltz" from Chariots of Fire. You may sneeze if you feel so inclined.

DANCE TO THE SONGS OF YOUR INNERMOST TWEETER!

*crashes*

*explodes*

*burns*

*dies*

Dangit!

Here, have mine, I'm driving...

*runs around screaming and leaps out a window*

Bipple zapple dat?

If the Mods read my garbage, then they deserve every penny of that hazard pay... and I don't have an ounce of pity for them. They should just ban me and be done with it, or have me on ignore like sensible folk.

I like jello! In my head!

I am now choosing to believe the forums went insane yesterday and forgot a whole bunch of stuff kinda at random.

It's either that, or there's a Mod out there misreading things and removing them for no valid reason, (I had an actual thoughtful post go missing... somebody may be editing content, but it seems more likely the forums freaked out).

They were acting very oddly yesterday, (forums... but it could apply to Mods too, take yer pick).

On a related note, I'm also choosing to believe chlorine is best rubbed in the eyes to remove the spots.

Well I'll be damned.

A Mod was in here and DELETED ME!?!?!?!

What on Earth is the world coming to? I mean, it's like walking onto a battlefield full of maimed and dying soldiers so you can dust somebody's lapels!

MADNESS!

*gets hit by a hammer and falls down unconcious*

*jumps on the zombie jawa and tries to pull his head off*

GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE!

I'll 'utinni' you, you miserable little weasel! GAH!





Eewww... I got zombie jawa on me hands! Sergant! Fetch me a bowsaw, time to remove these babies for good!

So... we're getting a refund for time that we could theoretically be playing, but can't due to server outage, right?

I DEMAND FREE MONEY!

I don't think I could use a word like fanboi and then make it plural. Somehow that crosses a line I swore to me dear old granny, (who enforced rules of grammar with a cattle prod), I'd never go near.

Heck, just using the word 'fanboi' makes me want to stick my hand in the socket for a bit. Poor old Granny.