Heh, I only really read this thread up to the 6th page and then skipped to the end to see if it got anywhere, which it hasn't really, though I've seen some good advise.
As many others have said there are ways to protect yourself from Stalker attacks, IR goggles help you to see them from a distance, inspirations give you that boost when you need it and working in a team can provide extra eyes and much needed support... but personally I've developed some of my own tricks with my defender.
Being a completely non-PVP build Empath I can hardly jump into PVP and expect to not to be targeted by the villians and other heroes (in the case of Warburg, my first PvP experience). So understanding this, I usually spend alot of my time in the air, using flight (note you can buy this as a temp power) to keep my distance when not performing my role as a defender and quickly swooping in and doing my thing when I need to throw out some of the green good stuff. In higher level zones I have stealth powers to use in order to make it harder to target me (note this is also a temp power in Sirens Call) and I'll even use invisibility when in a higher level zone so I can hover near the group without providing a easy target.
Heh, I used to do this little thing with a old temp power the conficated bean bag... I can't count the number of times I've surprised players by blasting them with that when they come for me. Of course it only works on Controllers and some of the weaker or less prepared Stalkers, but it leaves them open for a horrible mauling.
I don't think anyone who gets killed by a stalker is a bad PvPer... I've died countless times from alert stalkers who know how to do their thing and I accept that they are doing the best with their build. It just means I have to work harder on spotting and dealing with them... and just occasionally helping teams hunt the little gits down.
I admit it's annoying when the zone is filled with Stalkers just praying on any lose hero they can find... but sometimes it's just like that and I figure I can always leave it for a while and continue playing PvE.