Mad_Mud

Big gratz m8

claps

Big Gratz to Nursey and Gord of the archies. 2 excellent players and a very nice couple

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To be even less of a critic
I find some of these post a tad dramatic
Yet entertaining enough to keep me reading
Untill the inside of my head starts bleeding

Inspired by this and another irregular post
I find myself rhyming like a mysterious ghost
Talking in riddles what I could say clearly
These rhymes comes from the heart, so dearly

Please be patient as my english is worse then my dutch
So perhaps I make a few mistakes, or maybe a bit too much

If it are these random rhyming posts that you enjoy
Please let me know and make me a happy little boy

Hoping my inspiration won't dry out
I close this rhyme with a last little shout

To Mad_Mud I say thank you for the lovely rhymes
And perhaps we could work together sometimes

<Jewely>

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I like it unfortunalty im not as gifted my the verses you see come from meny places. I enjoy the reading and the reactions of others to them.

Can anyone give me advice . . . ?
What to do with computer mice?
At night they come out
And race all about.

Each mouse and it's spouse
Invading my house.
They wreck my office
And they're not too nice.

What to do with computer mice?
Wait, I hadn't thought about that -
Perhaps, I'll get a computer cat!

ah well time to say good bye for now and leave you all with 1 last thought for today

An itch to be scratched -
A lust unmatched -
An empty bed -
"Let's go!" she said.
And on the summer's afternoon
we loved until we saw the moon.

Exhausted, laying there exposed
upon my belly, I proposed
she scratch my back to top it off -
and soon she did, so soft, so soft.

Nails as sharp as 'Wiltshires' creep
like slugs upon a compost heap
across my sweaty skin until
I feel an itch she can't quite kill.

"Just up a bit." She hears me say.
"Down a bit...the other way.
Up a tad. You've gone askew.
Slide across a touch or two.
A little harder. Damn it! Swat it!
Keep going, yes, you've almost got it.
Listen woman, can't you tell.
You're nowhere near it. Bloody Hell!”

I fling my body in the air
and land atop the carpet bare
Grinding hard upon my back
searching for a pointy tac
to give me what I really need -
a decent scratch that makes me bleed

Bewildered, she is staring down,
as losing it, I go to town.
Raising up my back, I arch it,
slamming hard down on the carpet.

My body parts are flicking, hectic,
like I'm turning epileptic.
A book! A knife! A nice high heel!
Give me something I can feel

But suddenly, like when it reared,
my itch just vanished...disappeared.

I rose, so pleased, my love to tell
and found that she was gone as well.

The door was slammed, the lock was latched.
Our race was run...and I was scratched!

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That's a farmer/llama ding-dong brewing right there.

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Can't sleep. Sith clowns will eat me. Can't sleep. Sith clowns will eat me. Can't sleep. Sith clowns will eat me...

FIRE AND ICE

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favour fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

at the fat

theve moved me


I Open My Windows and What do I See?
More Windows Waiting for Me.
I Open and Close
With the Click of My Mouse
And Watch the Whole World
From Inside My House
Explore Windows and ME

and the want to get me into a strait jacket


Say Cheese
Gorgonzola
Cambazola
Happy snappers
Sandwich wrappers

Parmesan
Vacherin
Week old socks
Unwashed [censored]

All these
Say cheese

now you getting the hang of it nice 1 Mazey

feel the force

Pet Subject
I've a cobra that does calculus
And an anaconda that loves algebra

I've a grass snake that does geometry
And a python that adores pythagoras

So it's just my luck to waste 10 bucks
On a puff adder that's masthmatic

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Wait - you were following Dead Calm on his dino-date?

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no ours or is it yours could be mine
dating is so confusing when using paper bags

Love At A Stroke
I saw her across the room
A vision of beauty to the beholder
I was struck, instantly
By her loveliness, by her elegance
The way she held herself
I was spellbound by the image
I was physically altered by her
Was this love at first sight?
Or mere infatuation
She was really lovely
And I doubtless felt something
What I saw was a rare beauty
A precious thing
Like a work of art
Treasured on a gallery wall
A painting seen from a distance
But what I felt wasn’t love
Not from the first sight of her
Desire yes, feelings of passion also yes
Want and need certainly
But real depth of love no
This comes later, after closer study
Examining the canvas
Every nuance, each brushstroke
Form, colours, composition, perspectives
Seeing beneath the beautiful façade
To find beneath the painted layers
To where true beauty resides
Only after this patient study
Can you find true depth of feeling
And claim to be in love

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Stand clear.....ambulance coming through!

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that reminds me what do you do if a herd of elephants are copming towards you?


swim for it



Hippopotamus
Some think the
Noble hippopotamus
A somewhat
Pointless rhinoceros

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Muddy stand away from the keyboard the smurfs are coming for you, you can be saved

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Im well past saving

dam this jackets tight

Dogged Determination
If a dog from Dalmatia,
Is called a Dalmatian,
And one from The Alsace,
Is called an Alsatian

Why does Li Wong,
Who comes from Hong Kong,
Call his dog
Char Sui Chow Mein?

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Brilliant Muddy

Im loving them

Keep 'er lit

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Eat, Drink and Be Messy
Once, upon a thyme leaf,
There lived a lazy snail.
Who munched and dozed,and dozed and munched,
On thyme he breakfasted and lunched,
And when it came to half past nine,
He chose once more to dine on thyme.

Later, upon the thyme leaf,
Was a rather plumper snail.
But, reader dear, his life was brief,
For this is no fairy tale

He ate more and more, and grew fatter and fatter
Until one day he exploded, bang, splat, splatter.
One minute he was there,
The next he'd gone.
The coroner's verdict
'A snail thyme bomb'.

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How to Sex a Dinosaur


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I think Dead Calm would be better off answering this

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It involves flowers and chocolates, and that's all I'm prepared to say.

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The First Time
The first time I took her hand
It trembled faintly
Yet noticeably
Like a wild bird's fluttering heart
In the hand of its captor
The first time I kissed her
Her heart raced
And when I touched her skin
I felt her pounding heart
Through my fingers
The first time we made love
Was the first time
For us both
And in our passionate embraces
Our senses were over loaded
The first time
Became many times
Though we are older now
The passion is stronger
Our senses fine-tuned
We are one, soul mates
We share the same shadow

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Ok who didnt give muddy his pills today, it could be time for the smurfs to place him in his padded blue rubber room again

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you have to catch me 1st




Aunts
You mustn't be fooled by their features.
They look sweet, and kind, and gentle,
Some would say quite ornamental,
But they're really scary creatures.

'Come here and have a great big hug'
She squeezes me 'til I can't speak,
Then kisses me upon the cheek,
Saliva, lipstick, perfume ugh!

It's Christmas time I really fear.
It’s just the same year after year,
As I unwrap my worst nightmare,
A set of knitted underwear.

So this year I thought I'd treat her
To a gift which she could treasure
And would give me equal pleasure.
I've bought a Spiny Aunteater.

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So you work in a church?

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try again



How to Sex a Dinosaur
Tyrannosaurus rex
Has enormous pecs
Whereas Tyrannosaurus regina
Has an enormous ...tiara

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Actually, I'm puzzled by quite a few things - most of them in this thread

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I try


Little Miss
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating a Big Mac and Fries
Along came a spider and sat down beside her
'Yuck', it said, 'I prefer flies'

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Well... SOMEthing's gone to his head, that's for sure...

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the power of the post

to post or not that is the question

Oh Look
Oh look
A glimpse of thigh
As her legs cross
Young girls
Hipster clad
Showing thongs
Fail to titillate
But the young woman
In the lemon dress
Illuminated in the sunlight’s shaft
Excites the senses
A well-endowed Philly
On an adjacent table
Leans forward suddenly
And her breasts
Rearrange themselves
Delightfully
I feel no shame
As I view
A curvaceous beauty
A shapely leg
Or well-sculptured ankle
Pert well formed buttocks
Plump or perky breasts
But nothing tarty or vampish
No bare midriffs
Or obscenely short skirts
Less is more
I feel no shame
For letching
Where’s the sin
In looking
They are god’s creation
Well packaged
Why would he
Give us such delicacies
If he intended us not to look
So where’s the sin
Even if I am the vicar

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Looking Puzzled

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Yeah, I've gotten that far

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you puzzled now this is not the great and wise GG we expect

Mr.Whippy R.I.P.
An ice cream man has been found dead
Lying on the floor beneath a shelf
Covered with hundreds and thousands
Police say he may have topped himself

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Being able to post in work has gone to ya head Muddy

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just trying to keep the madness from the door so to speak.



Am I?
My lines do not scan.
My words do not rhyme.
I've overrun the meter, dramatically,
Not for the first time.

Am I a poem?
I am, if I say I am.

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Mad love your avatar it's so cute

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why thank I try to please



One Born Every Day
To make something foolproof
Is an impossibility
Because fools never fail to show
Such ingenuity