I've typed out and canceled out of this post numerous times over the last few weeks. Here's to hoping I hit "Submit" this time....
A little background: I used to write poetry as a kid. Hundreds of pages. Notebooks filled, that kind of thing. I also had issues communicating with others - especially about emotions (surprise!). As an adult, I write much less poetry (very little at all). I also eventually got diagnosed with (Limited? Mild? Spongy? High Functioning? Violet?) aspergers, and lots of things about my behaviors and life in general started to click.
Face to face social interactions with people outside of my immediate circle (wonderful, patient wife & 3 kids, some extended family and a few scattered friends) can be difficult for me. Sure, I've done it pretty much all day every work day for the last decade or two, but it takes a lot out of me. It's exhausting. It seems like removing a dimension or two (gesture, voice tone, eye contact, facial expressions) makes socializing much more relaxing and fun for me. So, hey, no surprise I wound up digging online communities - especially games (because I'm a gamer) - right?
I've been through a number of MMOs and game communities over the years - from mudding back in the day (I still program occasionally on a 20+ year old LPMUD) to Everquest to Diablo 2 and the D2X mod scene (I spent a year or so making my own mod - I still get one or two messages a year from folks discovering it and playing it, always makes me smile) to DAoC to WoW and a host of others over the years.
Nothing has stuck with me like this game.
Like many others, I heard about it long before it released and followed hungrily after any juicy newsbits and pounced on the pre-order and (brief) beta access. Day 1, and I'm still here. Sort of. Lately I can't bring myself to log in... it feels like dancing with the dead. Hopefully I'll move out of this phase and be back a bit more before the big barn burning (or barn reshuffling if we get really lucky, *fingers, toes, claws, tails, wings and eyebrows crossed*), but right now I just can't do it.
The community in City of .., both in game (Pinnacle!) and on the forums is just absolutely, positively second to nothing. This is it. The best gaming community I've ever been a part of - maybe the best there is (best there ever will be? ). So supportive and friendly, welcoming... I can't count the number of times I've seen people (or done it myself - gotta give back!) breaking systems and builds and powers and microscopic bits of lore minutiae down for new folks or just being plain helpful and decent digital human beings in general. Not to mention all the non-gaming stuff that goes on within server communities (and, I'm sure, the forum community as well, I'm just even less in tune with that one) and all the crossover into RL support groups, friends, lovers, etc.
Hopefully this doesn't come off wrong, but I felt like I should leave this on the forums somewhere... to metaphorically burn with them, I suppose. Bits and pieces of this were floating around in my head, percolating towards... who knows... when the news hit. Things started clicking and clacking and here is where I wound up:
we stayed inside
----------------
proud white faces, rotting in the sun
their browner kin rolling onward
as the sheen from pallid skin buckles and sneers.
gloried in excess of real, touch
flush with clamoured confidence, mummied.
they said “come outside, the world’s just right”
but we stayed inside.
there were worlds in our eyes
worlds yet to be rendered visceral upon
pupils denying seasons at unset refresh rates
there were worlds cast through our eyes
worlds riding frameshivs between blinks
gloried in excess of dream, sight
our pupils refracted liminal galaxies
upon a screen of spandex, chthonic schemes
nigh killable messiahs impaled in unbreakable dreams
gloried in glory, glory
they said “come outside, everything’s on right”
but we stayed inside.
sometimes.
Thank you to the devs for making such a wonderful space for people to have the option to be wonderful within and thank you to all the people who did so.
I seriously doubt I will ever get as invested in another game as I was in this one (emotionally, temporally, or financially). In fact, I have several mental notes NOT to do so, so I don't have to go through this again.
Guides: Dark Armor and IOs | SS/DA | Crabbing | Fortunata
I've typed out and canceled out of this post numerous times over the last few weeks. Here's to hoping I hit "Submit" this time....
). So supportive and friendly, welcoming... I can't count the number of times I've seen people (or done it myself - gotta give back!) breaking systems and builds and powers and microscopic bits of lore minutiae down for new folks or just being plain helpful and decent digital human beings in general. Not to mention all the non-gaming stuff that goes on within server communities (and, I'm sure, the forum community as well, I'm just even less in tune with that one) and all the crossover into RL support groups, friends, lovers, etc.
Thank you to the devs for making such a wonderful space for people to have the option to be wonderful within and thank you to all the people who did so.A little background: I used to write poetry as a kid. Hundreds of pages. Notebooks filled, that kind of thing. I also had issues communicating with others - especially about emotions (surprise!). As an adult, I write much less poetry (very little at all). I also eventually got diagnosed with (Limited? Mild? Spongy? High Functioning? Violet?) aspergers, and lots of things about my behaviors and life in general started to click.
Face to face social interactions with people outside of my immediate circle (wonderful, patient wife & 3 kids, some extended family and a few scattered friends) can be difficult for me. Sure, I've done it pretty much all day every work day for the last decade or two, but it takes a lot out of me. It's exhausting. It seems like removing a dimension or two (gesture, voice tone, eye contact, facial expressions) makes socializing much more relaxing and fun for me. So, hey, no surprise I wound up digging online communities - especially games (because I'm a gamer) - right?
I've been through a number of MMOs and game communities over the years - from mudding back in the day (I still program occasionally on a 20+ year old LPMUD) to Everquest to Diablo 2 and the D2X mod scene (I spent a year or so making my own mod - I still get one or two messages a year from folks discovering it and playing it, always makes me smile) to DAoC to WoW and a host of others over the years.
Nothing has stuck with me like this game.
Like many others, I heard about it long before it released and followed hungrily after any juicy newsbits and pounced on the pre-order and (brief) beta access. Day 1, and I'm still here. Sort of. Lately I can't bring myself to log in... it feels like dancing with the dead. Hopefully I'll move out of this phase and be back a bit more before the big barn burning (or barn reshuffling if we get really lucky, *fingers, toes, claws, tails, wings and eyebrows crossed*), but right now I just can't do it.
The community in City of .., both in game (Pinnacle!) and on the forums is just absolutely, positively second to nothing. This is it. The best gaming community I've ever been a part of - maybe the best there is (best there ever will be?
Hopefully this doesn't come off wrong, but I felt like I should leave this on the forums somewhere... to metaphorically burn with them, I suppose. Bits and pieces of this were floating around in my head, percolating towards... who knows... when the news hit. Things started clicking and clacking and here is where I wound up:
I seriously doubt I will ever get as invested in another game as I was in this one (emotionally, temporally, or financially). In fact, I have several mental notes NOT to do so, so I don't have to go through this again.
Guides: Dark Armor and IOs | SS/DA | Crabbing | Fortunata