You have to understand - as I've come to understand it - is that any MMO, in this case, is a simulated environment that has allowed you to better explore yourself, perhaps without realizing it.
Don't walk away thinking "a part of me has died," but instead walking away knowing "I have grown."
I agree with VoodooGirl. In a virtual environment you can explore sides of yourself that you otherwise can't, and that's a good thing. Kudos to you for getting in touch with something you found inside you.
For myself, my confession? After HEROID's story kinda ended I rolled and rp'd a series of teen characters, some male, some female, but I did it because my teen years in real life were so unhappy. City of Heroes -- and in particular the folks in Maggie's Rock and Westbrook Academy -- let me be a teenager again.
With Alias Smith I dealt with the anger and abandonment issues I had as a youth.
With Rogue Atom I dealt with the crushing shyness I had when I was in high school and the feeling I had then that I didn't belong. Tami was a girl who could overcome her shyness and make a lot of friends, even be popular.
With Wyatt Wyborn I was able to face the powerlessness and low self-esteem I felt when I was young. Wyatt became both powerful and a little full of himself also.
I'm going to miss my characters. I'm going to miss your characters. I'm going to miss the freedom to explore my own life while living a virtual life with all of you.
I will miss this game deeply. I woke up this morning hoping it was a nightmare,but it wasn't.
The one thing Ill miss the most is not the game play,or the friends I made(which sadly,was none,but that was for a reason I'm getting to). I will miss this game because it allowed me to be who I felt I truly was in my soul.
I'm about to lose the only way Ive ever found that allows me to fully express myself and to be who I truly feel I am.
I am male,but I feel that in my heart,I'm female. Its hard to explain and more embarrassing to admit. Its not like I'm going to run out in the future and get a sex change operation,nor am I homosexual. Its just that it feels right,and comfortable. I don't feel the need to go into it further.
Id always wanted to RP and make friends in CoH. Id make a new toon and think "this is it! Im gonna jump in there and be pro active in RP'ing and make some friends!" But it never happened. Partially due to my intense shyness and fear of rejection. But mainly due to being scared to admit to anyone what I admitted above. I wanted to not only RP the female toon,but I wanted everyone to think I was female IRL. My biggest fear was someone discovering the lie,and being ridiculed for it...
SO that's it,my confession. When the servers go dark in November,a part of me will die with them. I will lose that precious means of expression that is so very dear to me. But in the mean time,I'm going to log in to Virtue,maybe hit The D,and try to make a friend.
@Adrynalynn if you feel like looking me up.