((Special note, I now have my blog for this character diary. It is located at: Lagom's Blog! Thanks all for reading!))
February 21st
It's been a long day, Kysa. I am completely worn out and I hurt. Today was actually full of adventure and yet, I just don't feel good about it. I guess I will explain.
We received the transmission from the police just after lunch. Crime seems to be considerate, giving us time to finish our crisps and all. Well, as considerate as that lunatic Dr. Lightning can be. It turns out that he was stealing some particle ray thing. Not surprising, Captain did not see the need to really give me the full details of what was being stolen. He thinks I'm such a moron. It's so irritating. Anyway, we made our way to the university. We arrived just as a glowing blue force field popped into existence around the building. Dr. Lightning's minions were loading the particle thing into a box van. Captain made a quick plan. Bass would use his sonar powers to disrupt the force field and allow Zip Zap to speed her way in to destroy the field generator. Once the force field was down Captain, Bass, and Zip Zap would head into the building to take care of Dr. Lightning and that left Blaze and I with the minions.
I pressed my lips together and caught Captain's wrist before he could turn away,
Oskar, why do you make me take care of the minions with Blaze? He responded by pushing my lips into a forced pucker and gave me a kiss,
Lady Sweden, we all do our part and your part is not getting hurt. I forced myself back a little and shook my head,
Not getting hurt? I can heal nearly everything by the end of the day. What are you so worried about? Or do you just want more time with Andrea? By this point, Captain was really steaming. He pushed me into position next to Blaze,
I just care about you. That and I think Blaze needs some more training. You're watching over him, not the other way around. Blaze turned to stare at Captain and then engulfed himself in fire. Blaze can be such a moody guy.
The plan started off well. Bass had no trouble creating a hole large enough for Zip Zap. She in turn had no problems destroying the field generator. Then Captain had no problems charging in like a true cereal box hero. The three of them disappeared into the building, leaving the minions rather stunned. There were well over a dozen men and women dressed up in white outfits with Dr. Lightning's logo. It took most of them a minute to even notice Blaze and I. It was long enough for me to draw out my electricity batons and charge towards the closest person. Bolts of electricity came racing towards me from the minion's guns. One struck home, hitting me dead center on the chest. The force and shock made me grimace, but I pressed forward and brought my baton across the closest person's stomach. The minion grunted from the force, but the electrical current was dispersed along their suit. Great, I couldn't just taser them and have the drop in one blow. To my right fire burst up from the ground and sent minions fleeing. It made me wonder if I really did belong outside, being babysat by the burning man.
I shook off the thought and tried to put my mind in a heroic mood. For the most part, it worked. The first minion and three others collapsed from my beating. I raced towards the fifth and was greeted by a wall of fire growing out of the ground. I stopped quickly, before becoming grilled heroine. Blaze shouted out an apology. I took a look around. He had already taken care of the rest. I avoided looking at him and spit on the ground in annoyance. I tapped my ear piece and spoke,
Captain, we're done inside. We're on our way to help secure Dr. Lightning. The response was hasty,
No, no need. We've just about got him. Make sure the minions are arrested.
I threw my hands in the air in disgust and yelled out to Blaze,
I'm going in. I'm a hero after all! I lowered myself into a running position and ran into the building. Once I entered, I could hear shuffling and over exaugerated voices. I tightened my grip and ran towards the auditorium ahead of me. The sound of my boots slamming down on the tile echoed through the hallway. It was only moments before I could see Captain standing in the center of the room. He turned to face me and recognition came to his eyes. There was no hesitation as he tossed a teachers desk at the doorway, blocking my entry. His voice came over the comlink,
Lady Sweden, I told you to stay out. It's too dangerous! I stopped in my tracks stumped. Something weird was going on.
The situation seemed to wrap itself up within the next few minutes. Dr. Lightning was captured and Captain smiled for the cameras. Meanwhile, I was lost in the background, confused as can be. Everyone seemed to be acting normal and they just patted me on the shoulder. We headed home and I tried to shake myself off. I passed Blaze in the hallway and asked if anything seemed weird. His usual depressed voice was soft,
Ella, they named me Blaze. Everything is wrong with this place.
That was the last thing I heard from anyone today. I just locked myself in my room and have been watching reruns all evening. Captain hasn't checked up on me. Why would he. I don't know Kysa, I'm worried that something is wrong with life here.
Good night and happy book dreams!
February 24th
Sorry for the silence, Kysa. I just have not been in the mood to do much of anything lately. I don't think my troubled mind could have really stopped to write things down. Captain has been going between trying to be the best boyfriend in the world and the biggest jerk in the world. Yesterday, he took me out to dinner at a really nice restaurant. He even went as far as to go as a civilian. It was really nice to go out as Oskar and Ella, instead of Captain Sweden and Lady Sweden. It isn't that I'm tired of being a heroine or a celebrity, but sometimes it's nice to be just a girl. That was yesterday. Today, Oskar wasn't anywhere to be found for most the day. I just wish he had stayed away longer.
The television played in the background. A rerun was on. It wasn't worth watching, since they had just played it last week. Everyone was gone, except for Blaze and I. It was a pretty typical picture. Our press agent had been wanting to portray Captain Sweden wining and dining with celebrities. I guess committed boyfriend didn't work too nicely in that image. So instead, I was stuck at home with only Blaze to keep me company.
I stretched out and poked him in the side. He looked up from the oversized textbook he read,
Yeah? I leaned in close to see what he was reading. Complex mathematical equations and diagrams covered the pages. I furled my eyebrows,
Why are you reading a math book?
I have to study for school. I have a mid term coming up soon. He closed the book and looked over at me,
I go to college, Ella. I'm not going to do this forever. I'm twenty now, but what about when I'm forty? Will I still be able to keep up? Or will my fire die down and leave me powerless? I mean, what are you going to do?
The question took me by surprise. I guess the fame and heroics had kept me so preoccupied, I'd never thought of life after it all. I closed my eyes and tried to picture life. I tried to see myself in the future with Oskar as his wife and the mother of his children. The image seemed forced and photo edited. I shook my head and opened my eyes. Blaze was staring intently at me,
You've never thought of it, have you? Did you really think that Oskar would settle down with you? He'd only marry you once he was old and fat. When no other woman would cry for his autograph. No, he's going to continue to push his smug face onto all the tabloids until the public can't stand it anymore.
I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. I forced myself to calm down, but my vision was blurry. There was suddenly a warm pressure on my hand. It was Blaze, his hand squeezing mine tightly. His voice was soft,
Ella, you're a smart girl. Why do you let him treat you this way? He's such a mule and he doesn't deserve you. What is worse is that he's up to something. I know you can see it too. Blaze's comment caught my attention. I wiped my eyes on my sleeve and gave him a curious look,
What do you think is going on? He shook his head and sent his shaggy red hair bouncing,
I don't know, but it strikes me as weird that every plan has you and I on the sidelines. I know it isn't simply because we're younger. There is less than two years difference between you and Oskar. I think that Oskar is hiding something really big and both Andrea and Pehr are in on it. His words were hurried whispers, filled with urgency.
My mouth opened to speak, but snapped shut as the common room's doors slid open. Captain Sweden entered the room with a swagger. Blaze's hand pulled away from mine, but we could both see that Captain had noticed the gesture. He strode towards us with purposeful strides. The moment he walked within ten feet of us, we could smell the scents of a club on him. He reeked of cigarettes, alcohol and other things I didn't want to think about. Captain leaned down to my ear that was closer to Blaze,
Bedroom. The words weren't threatening, but they caused unpleasant shivers down my spine.
You know, Kysa... I just don't want to talk anymore. I just don't feel good. Bye.
((There is actually a second part to the Feb. 24th blog, but it is only posted on the blog. I wanted this version of the diary to be more friendly towards larger audiences. The link to the blog is: SuperLagom.BlogSpot.Com))
March 3rd
Alright, I would have written sooner if I wasn't locked away as a mental case. Yeah... Things have been worse than I thought possible for the last week. The morning following the events of February 24th placed me in hell. Captain reported me for improper behavior to the team's psychologist. The psychologist is the same counselor who has it out for me and prompted me to start writing you. So it isn't surprising things didn't go well for me. Captain claimed that I attacked him. He of course only struck me because he was acting in self defense. Blaze didn't testify against me and I don't really blame him. He's a sweet guy, but he's not in the heavyweight division fighting wise.
The counselor brought me in for hours of analysis to determine my mental stability and then she referred me to extended observation. For three days I was kept locked in a sterile room. Everything in the room was bolted down and there was nothing that I could hurt myself with. It was terrible. What was worse was every four hours the counselor or one of her associates would come in to ask me pointless questions.
After the third day, I was released from observation. Captain was there to escort me back to our suite. He was all smiles. It made me feel sick to my stomach. His voice was calm and almost confident,
You look good. Did you have a relaxing time? He leaned over to capture my lips in a deep kiss. I felt the pressure and the warmth, but the kiss made me feel angry and sick. I drew my fist back and as he raised his head, I struck. I might not have super strength, but I was strong enough that a hard hook to the chin snapped his head to the side.
It took quite a large handful of men to restrain me. Captain was ushered away to have his chipped tooth taken care of. The last thing I remembered for a while was the hypodermic needle that the counselor emptied into my arm. The next time I woke up was when the IV of sedative had run out. It turns out that the only way to keep me in a sedative state was to constantly have the drug dripped into my system. My body just cleansed itself of the drug too fast otherwise.
I knew I was restrained and it frustrated me, but all I could do was stare blankly until the counselor showed up. She did. If only to tell me her diagnosis. She had decided I was unstable. The counselor walked out only to return a few hours later with her associates. I can't really remember what they said. This continued for days. The only time I was really myself was when the IV ran out.
What turns out to be four days later, they removed the IV. I was completely coherent within moments. The counselor was watching me with a smug look on her face,
Lady Sweden, glad to have you back. I hope this experience has been restful. We're going to be releasing you from observation today, but it is my strong personal recommendation that any further outbursts will lead to your immediate dismissal from the team. I wouldn't want to see that happen, but I would not have any other choice.
Her words struck me hard. I would be expelled from the group. I wouldn't be a superhero. I mean, I'd still be super, but somehow I doubt they would just let me go my own way. Not with this woman making the call anyway. I would probably end up in that little room until the day my body couldn't take it any longer. It sounded like a fate worse than I could think up.
I didn't resist when they unbound me. I didn't even resist when I was handed over to Captain Sweden. He kissed my forehead and smiled. I just closed my eyes.
March 20th
I don't know if I can keep going. This is getting ridiculous. Every piece of my life around me feels so fake. Things between Captain Sweden and I are even looking perfect. He takes me out each night and shows me off to the public, then brings me home and you know. Crime is bustling and so crime fighting is really booming. The plans are still the same though. They always end with Lady Sweden and Blaze will take care of the minions or the second less influential villain.
Life does seem perfect. Why does like feel fake then? I don't know, but I feel like I'm walking on a stage. Cardboard cut outs everywhere instead of real people and scenes. I'm getting tired of this. I want to know what goes on backstage. Captain is really up to something and I have to wonder how deep this goes.
March 21st
Today I had an opportunity to dig a little deeper into the big secret. Captain and I were on a date when he received a call on his mobile. The second he saw the number on the caller id, I could tell it wasn't our agent. His eyes narrowed as he took the call. Captain didn't say a word throughout the conversation and then rose swiftly,
I'm sorry, Honey. I've got a meeting with one of our sponsors. He tugged his cape into place and then made sure his hair was in place. With a diamond smile, Captain leaned down to give me a kiss,
I'll be back as soon as I can. There wasn't enough time to protest. He was already gone.
Normal girlfriends would be jealous. However, I wasn't really normal was I? Even beyond the being a mutant, I wasn't forgetting my extended stay under psychiatric evaluation. I excused myself from the table and escaped out the back of the restaurant. There were a lot of spaces that a costumed celebrity could duck into in the city. I used the closest and used the backup civilian clothes stored there. The sunglasses covered my eyes to hide the black spots around my eyes. It seemed quicker than using makeup remover.
I caught up to Captain rather easily. He drew a lot of attention as usual. Lady Sweden would have been pretty obvious too, but Ella was just normal enough to be part of the crowd. Captain made his way south and I followed. Things got tricky once he started to really move, but I managed to keep up. He was making way towards the low-income part of town. Not really a place for a costumed hero to visit for leisure reasons. It made me wonder if Captain was doing heroics solo. I'd get my answer soon enough.
The building that Captain finally entered was an old apartment complex. Most the windows were boarded out. It was an eyesore and I couldn't imagine what Captain was doing there. He went through the front door like he owned the place. I jumped in through an open window like an intruder. There wasn't anyone in the apartment that I jumped into. It looked like only squatters resided in the abandoned building. Outside the front door, I could hear voices moving past,
I'm sorry to call you, Captain Sweden. I didn't know what else to do.
My heart just felt relieved. Someone really did need his help. He was doing hero work. I moved closer to the door and listened harder,
Of course you don't know what to do. You're an idiot. The voice was Captain's, no doubt about that. I felt that relief turn to a block of ice in my chest. I suppose I shouldn't have been too surprised by the next snip of conversation I heard,
I beat up some clown, while you do your business underground. I take the heat off you and you don't make me look bad. Where in this agreement does it state that I show up whenever you have some little problem?
I backed away from the door just as I heard a body slam into the wall outside. People were starting to scatter. I decided that I should take the hint and scatter as well. Two long legged steps and I was in position to leap out the window. I landed in a roll and started to run. I kept running. I wanted to feel my lungs burn from effort. It was the only way I could think to keep my mind off what I had heard. I don't think I could process the idea that Captain Sweden was working for the criminal syndicate.
Captain Sweden was apart of the Stockholm Syndicate.
My boyfriend works for the mob.
Kysa... Somehow this is a bigger kettle of fish than I could have expected.
April 7th
Tell me a lie. Tell me that a little over two weeks ago I did not find out that my boyfriend is secretly working for organized crime while pretending to be a superhero. I know that of course you are nothing more than simple sheets of paper, but sometimes it just seems like life would be easier if all the answers could be found right in front of you.
Blaze thinks he's the answer right in front of me, but I can't talk to him. I'm nervous to even motion to him to pass the salt during dinner. I'm not afraid that Blaze now has a bad opinion of me, but rather that it will cue Captain to call in the counselor again. Anyway, though he's a sweet guy, he's kind of a wimp. He can set things (including himself) on fire, but he does all those things (except self ignition, that wouldn't make any sense) from at least 30 yards away.
So instead of confiding in the only other person on the team that isn't Captain's puppet, I have been playing the secret agent. I don't wear a well cut tuxedo, but I do engage in a lot of spy activities. I have never been particularly curious to know where Captain and the rest of the team go during off time until now. I stayed in the background while I followed Captain from charity gala to strip clubs and everything in between. The everything in between was the really curious part. Every few days he would drop off envelopes in an unmarked post box outside an office building.
For days I watched the post box every chance I got. It was days after the initial drop that someone approached to pick up a single envelope. It was Zip Zap. She came in civilian clothing, an extravagant outfit by some designer with a drawn out name that reminded me of a cheese. I guess no one had explained the concept of low key to her. She tucked the envelope into her clutch bag and looked around to make sure she wasn't seen. Zip Zap wouldn't have noticed me if I was wearing a neon sign, oblivious as she is, but I ducked back further anyway.
Zip Zap was not the only person retrieving an envelope. Throughout the next couple of days various known syndicate members and public or government officials as well as my team member, Bass, picked up their perspective envelopes. I couldn't dream up what could be in the envelopes for certain, but each had the rectangular bulge of paper money and they were pretty thick. So I guess my dreams were probably pretty close to the mark.
Captain Sweden dropped off another batch of envelopes exactly one week later. I didn't have to watch the results, but I did anyway. The entire process was repeated. It made me wonder just how deep this festering pit was.
The worst part (okay, not the worst) of the situation is that my absence from the team wasn't even noticed. Captain actually almost seemed relieved to having me off doing my secret project. There was no need to come up with excuses for his whereabouts. He didn't realize that he didn't need an excuse because my next project would be to constantly tail him.
Let's just say that I think I'm going to need a whole day to write out just what kind of man I was really dating. See you tomorrow. Loves, kisses and lots of fishes, Kysa!
April 8th
So I guess that today I get to write out just how I feel about my relationship with Captain. It seems like a healthy thing to do. I already mentioned that when I first met him, I didn't really hit it off with him. That's not exactly the truth. The fact is that I couldn't stand him.
Our relationship was staged from the start. I didn't ask to be paired off with the king of the tool bags. It was just supposed to be for publicity. We had shared suite, but separate bedrooms. The media wouldn't have to know we weren't really a couple.
His opinion on the situation was hazy. I'm pretty sure that he saw me as a challenge. He pursued me relentlessly and for a while, I batted away his attentions. That lasted all of a month. I finally melted and started dating him when he actually did something really sweet.
It was on New Year's Eve. I was exhausted between the publicity events and Captain Sweden's relentless pursuit. We had just finished making an appearance at the children's home. I don't know about the others, but spending several hours with excited orphans was enough to wear me out. Not in the way a body wears out after a fight, but more a mental exhaustion. The five of us exited the building. The air outside was more than just chilly. The moment Captain Sweden exited the building, his cheerful facade dropped. His face was a mask of worry. He drew in a deep breath and turned to face me,
“Lady Sweden, you need to come with me. Right now.”
I wasn't given a chance to respond. He took my hand and started to lead me away. His grip was firm, but not painful. I struggled to keep up,
“Where are we going, Captain Sweden?” His blond hair waved as he shook his head,
“It's a surprise.” I opened my mouth to speak, but he caught me off guard. He tugged my arm and made me crash into his side. His strong arms quickly wrapped around me and lifted me off the ground. The wind started to whistle past us as he flew up. I looked down a moment later and saw the ground far below us. I knew I was protesting, but I couldn't speak loud enough for him to hear.
The flight was short. It only took him a couple of minutes to take us to his destination. It was a rooftop. He let me down gently so I could take a look around. Blinking lights, the kind Americans use on Christmas, twinkled here and there. I had always thought those lights were gaudy, but here they seemed charming. There was a large blanket in the center of the open space. A wicker basket and an iced bucket holding champagne rested on the blanket. Everywhere I turned candles flickered. It was like something out of a movie.
I turned to Captain Sweden. He actually looked nervous. His hands kept tensing and then relaxing. I had never seen him actually out of his debonair persona. It was rather cute, but I tried not to sound impressed,
“Did you do all this yourself or did you hire someone?” The words seemed to crush him. His mouth opened and closed for a minute. He let out a deep sigh,
“You're right. I've been a jerk to you. I realize that now. I just wanted to try to make things right between us. I set this up myself. Even the cooking is all me. Please give me a chance, Lady Sweden.” He raised his hand and I gave a cautious smile as I placed my hand on his,
“Alright. Dazzle me, Captain.”
The food was surprisingly good. The conversation was surprisingly good too. It turned out that in addition to being a total jerk, Captain was a great storyteller. We talked until the first firework of the show popped in the sky. It scared me pretty bad. Apparently, Captain Sweden had chosen the spot for it's proximity to the fireworks show and it's view. I'll only admit to you, Kysa, that I pulled the typical girl move of jumping into his arms.
He had enough tact to not comment and just held me close as the show played out before us. I rested my head on his shoulder and gave in to the moment. I cuddled into him. It was like a high school drama. I felt like the unpopular girl getting together with the most popular boy. It felt rather nice, but I wondered if the rest of the popular kids were going to throw terrible things at me later on. I decided I didn't care.
The fireworks show slowed down and Captain opened the champagne. The foam made a terrible mess and we both ended up with our costumes covered in it. We both laughed and struggled to pour the remaining liquid into glasses. More champagne was spilled, but we finally ended up with two glasses of the drink. He looked me in the eyes and spoke,
“A toast to the new year and to new beginnings.” I repeated the phrase.
I don't know, Kysa. After that... We got along really well. It's been quite a while since we first started dating. He's never asked me to marry him and I'm fine with that. His social behavior hasn't changed much, but I never saw a problem with him flirting with other women. It wasn't as if he was in love with them. Then again, I don't even really know if he is in love with me.
I guess the truth is, I don't even know if I'm in love with him. I've been happy with him. Well, I was happy with him before. That's not the problem. I just don't know how I really feel. I don't get the girly butterflies or the wanting to write his name over everything. So I guess it's wrong of me to force him to devoutly love me if I can not do the same for him. Or maybe I've just been in a very messed up relationship.
I don't even know where to put things now. I don't want to stay with him. That's the honest truth. Whether or not I love him, I can not stand idly by him while he makes a mockery of everything we're supposed to represent. He's a freaking criminal. Heroes arrest criminals... not moonlight as criminals themselves. I can't stand the idea of him (the others too, but I'm not dating them... so they aren't on trial this second.) working for the Stockholm Syndicate. It just disgusts me.
I really need to find a way out. A way out of my relationship and my role as Lady Sweden.
April 9th
Today is another day. I've been following Captain around for days now. To say the least, it has been an interesting experience. You know though, I want to compile all I've learned into one entry at once.
Today is another day for reflection. I know, Kysa, you probably don't want to hear me babbling on about the past and lame things like that. The fact is that your a book and I can't hear your complaints, so here goes nothing.
I was pretty close to completely normal as a child. The only clues to my particular mutation were subtle. I never got sick and any cuts or bruises healed within the week. My parents never thought of me as out of the ordinary. I suppose they just felt lucky they didn't have to deal with things like the chicken pox. All and all, I was pretty damned boring.
My powers didn't surface until I was fourteen. That's when my normal life was thrown off the balcony. My birthday had come and gone. It was the summer. Somewhere in the month of July. I remember thinking that this holiday would be when I finally got a boyfriend.
His name was Felix. He was the hottest boy in the world. His hair was dark and his eyes were rich blue. He was barely a year older than I was and he had this brave reckless attitude. I was in love. Head over heels in love. The best part was that he liked me too.
We met in class. His family had recently moved to the capital to further their business venture into something or other. I really couldn't have cared less. The important thing was that he was partnered with me for our sciences. I don't know if I would have ever gotten a chance to talk to him otherwise. Every girl in class surrounded him like vultures around a fresh kill. (Hmm, what a morbid phrase.)
Felix was smarter than me and a lot more mischievous. We did well on our assignments when he wasn't mixing volatile chemicals together. We became close in those few months before school ended and on the day school let out he asked if we could spend time together over the break. I was delighted.
That day was supposed to be like any other. We were going to watch movies or something. I walked over to his house. It was a pretty short walk. His house was in the same neighborhood as mine and frankly looked nearly identical.
It had rained the previous day and I worried that the humidity would ruin my hair. I had spent almost an hour trying to look just right for the day. I sucked in a nervous breath and tried to fix my appearance. I wanted to look like a girl from the magazines. A perfect girlfriend and not the girl who had an IG on most her tests. I knocked on the door and Felix answered.
His smile was infectious. Felix ushered me inside and looked up and down at the empty street before closing the door behind him. My heart was racing. Why was he being so secretive? He couldn't seem to contain his excitement,
Ella, I'm really glad you could make it. I've got a big surprise for you. My eyes were sparkling as he reached into his pocket. I could already imagine the trinket he had bought as a sign of our relationship. I tried not to show my disappointment when he pulled out a set of keys.
My brother is letting me use his motorcycle. Have you ever ridden on one before? I looked shocked for a second. Felix was hardly fifteen. He couldn't have his license until he was sixteen. My voice was a squeak,
No, only a moped once or twice. I didn't even do the driving then. You know how to drive a motorcycle? Felix was smiling,
Of course I do. My brother lets me drive his all the time. Come on, it'll be fun.
I pushed my fears to the bottom of my stomach and nodded. He led me outside to a gorgeous very new looking motorcycle. I made a move to pick up a helmet and he raised an eyebrow at me,
Ella, we don't need helmets. It's just going to make us look like dorks. He studied my pressed together lips and serious face before breaking into a full smile. I relented and moved closer to the motorcycle. He reached out and took my hand. His face was bright red and he couldn't seem to lift his eyes off the ground. My face turned a similar shade and we both stood there for a moment.
Felix cleared his throat and narrowed the distance between us,
For luck. I repeated the words and closed my eyes. I felt his lips press against mine and it felt amazing. It seems cheesy to say, but I swear it felt like a fireworks show was going on. We must have kissed for eternity or maybe a couple minutes. I never had kissed before or even been wrapped in a boy's arms before.
We ended the kiss and I remember opening my eyes to see Felix with a smear of pink strawberry lip gloss on his face. I laughed and used my sleeve to wipe off the makeup. He smiled awkwardly,
Um, wow... Felix confidently climbed onto the motorcycle and gestured for me to hop on. I climbed on with a lot less finesse and then wrapped my arms around his waist. My blood was still on fire as he turned his head to give me another kiss,
Hold on as tight as you can. You know... For safety.
I held on tight. Not just because it was an opportunity to squeeze my cute boyfriend, but because I was scared to bits. It apparently took less than two minutes from our neighborhood to get to heavily trafficked areas. I would have never guessed, but it was definitely less than two minutes before we were speeding past autos at a rather alarming speed. I attempted to look over Felix's shoulder to see the speed. It was well past 120km/h.
I hid my head in his back and tried to block out the scenery rushing past us. The motorcycle slowed for a minute and he yelled to me,
Hey Ella! I looked up and saw him looking intently in the distance. He released one hand from the handles and squeezed my hand quickly before replacing his hand,
It's okay, I won't let anything happen to you. I love you. The words screamed over the wind thundered in my heart. I yelled out at the top of my lungs,
I love you too, Felix! He started to accelerate again as he yelled the word,
Awesome!
The world started to blur past us. He kept driving and I stayed cuddled into him. I actually started to enjoy myself. The wind turned my hair into a blond cloud behind me. Afternoon traffic started to accumulate. We simply rushed past them all.
Traffic ahead of us deadlocked and brake lights lit up everywhere. I remember watching the car leap out into our path. It slammed on its brakes. Felix applied the brakes to the motorcycle, but there was no where to dodge to. Cars lined our view. He turned the motorcycle, but the rain from yesterday left the roads wet. I felt the motorcycle slide on the damp roads.
We crashed.
I don't remember the actual crash. The world went black and all I remember was the warmth of being pressed against Felix's back.
I was admitted to the hospital with no chance of living. Most the bones in my body had been broken. The doctors told my parents that the damage to my spine would surely leave me paralyzed for life.
I was in a coma for almost three days. The chances for me to even regain consciousness had been slim to none. I remember when I first woke up. I can still see my parents asleep next to my bed. It was obvious they hadn't been home in days. Mother's hair was limp and tangled. Father's clothes were rumpled and he was quite stubbly faced. I just laid there and let them rest.
My body didn't hurt, everything was numb and distant. I distinctly remember feeling an itch on my left arm and when I tried to scratch it I found my right arm in a cast. It was uncomfortable to try to lift my head, but I managed to raise my head enough to see most my body in casts or bandages. I guess my movements woke up my parents. I didn't think I made any noise, but parents have a sixth sense.
There was tears in their eyes. They rose and were plastering me in kisses within seconds. I couldn't understand what they were saying. They were just crying too hard. Later on, I pieced it together that they were saying it was a miracle. My parents didn't know the half of it at the time.
My healing process didn't end with my regaining consciousness. Over the next four days my body began to heal itself at an amazing speed. I was feeling better than I ever had at the end of the week. Every bone healed itself perfectly. The X-rays they took showed no signs of the accident at all. I didn't even have a bruise on my body.
The first question I had when got my bearings was if I could see Felix. The downcast look in my parent's eyes was the only explanation I needed. I was healthy enough to go to his funeral, but I stayed in the background away from prying eyes. I don't think Felix's parents would be able to stand the sight of me. There son was dead and I was healthier than ever before.
I felt like I cried forever. The pain never seemed to heal over. My parents saw me as being blessed by God. I wondered if there was even such a thing as God. I have never been able to find my own answer. My mind continuously comes back to the question: If I was given this miracle, why couldn't Felix? Why did I get to live, while he died?
After the accident, I became more reckless. No matter what I did, I healed from it. I don't know why I kept trying to throw my life away. Maybe some part of me knew that Felix would take the chances. Or maybe I just was torn up inside. I still might be.
Maybe Felix is the reason I could never bring myself to really loving Captain Sweden. Oskar never had the chance to compare to the boy from my childhood.
((Hello all! I hope you are enjoying my character diary! I adore getting feedback, so feel free to post here or send a private message.
If you like this version of the diary, you should head over to http://superlagom.blogspot.com/ to read the full version of the diary.
Oh and I play as Lagom on the Virtue server. Feel free to send me a tell just to chat or start up random role play. I love to talk!
Well enjoy and comment, please!
~Loves, kisses, and lots of fishes!))
April 18th
I have been keeping tabs on my boyfriend for over a week now. I feel like some sort of crazed girlfriend, but I'm not looking to see if he cheats. I needed to see exactly what Captain Sweden has been doing for the Stockholm Syndicate.
Twice during the week our team was called out on missions. Each time, I broke away from minion duty to follow Captain, Zip Zap and Bass. On both occasions they were obviously not doing super hero work. Unless I'm mistaken, running interference for huge shipments of drugs is not heroic.
His activities seemed to run throughout his day. Where ever he went he was conducting business of either heroic or criminal nature. It seemed pretty exhausting, but I suppose he really would do anything for fame and fortune. Put on a pretty face and parade around a hero for the fame. (Not to mention I thought we were paid pretty well by Parliament. Guess not.) Then dodge around the corner and become a full ranking tool of the criminal organization for the fortune.
Days of following around Captain has given me plenty of incriminating evidence. My tiny notebook will soon be filled with meeting times and locations. I snapped pictures constantly and took audio. Whenever I was presented with a chance, I even video taped his meetings. I don't dare store any of the information at our base. I feel like some sort of super spy.
It was last Wednesday that I followed Captain to a gentleman's club. I entered through the rear entrance under the pretense I was auditioning. The thought made me feel uncomfortable. I think I have a nice body, but I still don't think I'll even be able to live down the swimsuit pictures that Zip Zap and I took for the magazines. If I was embarrassed over that, the idea of dancing around in underwear was mortifying. I vowed to escape if they tried to make me audition.
I tried to act casual as I tried to find Captain in the crowd. He was harder to find when he wasn't wearing a rather bold yellow and blue costume. There are a lot of blond tall men in Sweden. Apparently all of them enjoy seeing mostly naked young women. I pushed past at least three men that fit the description and ended up at the bar.
The bartender was an attractive muscular man. He obviously wasn't there just for his bar-tending skills. I assumed he could easily jump the bar and break up any inappropriate behavior. He gave me a sly smile and passed me a frosted drink with a thin orange slice perched on the rim of the glass. I smiled rather awkwardly and moved along with the drink.
I was tempted to take a drink, but I needed my wits not liquid courage. The first man I passed that made doe eyes at me was given the drink. I pressed on ahead and finally caught a glance of Captain. He was entering a backroom with a pair of dancers on his arms. For some strange reason the sight of him with other women was almost comforting. I think it was better to see him fooling around on me than committing more crimes.
I needed to make sure that what I was seeing was all that was going on. It took me a couple of minutes to be able to slide my way into the backroom. I found a vantage spot and looked to where Captain was sitting. I hunkered down and turned on my video camera. The room was filled with plush chairs and too many pillows. All the chairs were occupied. Captain sat in one. Mostly men (There was only one or two women) in business attire were sitting in the other chairs. The center of the room was dominated by two women dancing in skimpy lingerie.
I recognized one of the dancers as one of the girls that escorted Captain in the room. The other girl that accompanied Captain was sitting in his lap. He had one hand on her thigh as he spoke,
Thank you all for coming. I hope you find the accommodations satisfactory. One of the men, a silver haired fellow with sharp eyes, spoke up,
Captain, I understand that you are proud of your investments, but a place like this is no place for a business meeting. Another younger man responded hastily,
I beg your pardon, Sir, but I think this location meets our needs and anyway, today is Captain Sweden's meeting.
Captain looked smug at the support and flashed a brilliant smile,
Great. Now then, since that's all be settled we can get down to business. Excellent work on Sunday. All of you. Well, except maybe you. He pointed to a man around our own age and then snapped his fingers twice,
Yeah, I don't remember your name. Sorry, but anyway you did terrible. Do better or well, you know. The words hung in the air with unnamed threats. Captain looked at the girl in his lap and waved her off,
Go get me a drink. Something strong enough to bring down a moose. The exotic dancer pushed her lips into a pout as she rose,
But Captain, it's only Wednesday-
I know what day it is cow. I am not feeling patient. Now get my drink. The girl stumbled out of the room as quickly as possible.
Captain Sweden rearranged himself in the armchair and brushed a hand through his hair,
Alright then. Your profits have increased drastically since my team joined the operation, correct? He was met with hesitant nods and he continued,
Well then, this means that the surplus profits gives us all the resources to expand. I already arranged a few dozen weapons shipments arriving in town within the next couple of weeks. That will give our men enough firepower to gain control of everything here to- His words were cut off by the silver haired old man,
I've heard enough. I offered you a place within this organization and you are seeking to usurp my position in front of my face. How dare you! The room fell silent. All eyes were on Captain Sweden and the old man.
I knew Captain Sweden. There was no way he could stand being challenged. He rose from the chair and closed the distance between him and the old man. The women in the center of the room scrambled away. The old man was standing with his shoulders squared. Captain Sweden took another step closer. He stepped on a glass ashtray that broke underneath his boot. He paid it no mind to the crunching glass. The old man tried not to look intimidated, but the fear on his face was painfully obvious.
Captain's movements were fast. It took me a second to register that he had grabbed the old man by the throat and lifted him clean off the ground. Captain's words were a low growl,
Your tired old organization has been praying for a man like me to come along. You call it usurping. I call it progress. The old man's eyes bulged as his airway was cut off. His lips moved, but no words came out. Captain Sweden's fingers squeezed tighter and he looked around at the gathered people,
Would anyone like to try and stop me?
One of the two women drew a gun and aimed at Captain Sweden. Captain tightened his grip and the sound of the old man's windpipe collapsing filled the room. It was a sickening crunching sound. The woman with the gun fired and Captain Sweden calmly used the body of the dying man as a shield. I was beyond horrified. In a flash of movement, he bounded across the room to the woman and grabbed her wrist. He turned the arm so the gun was forced into her stomach. His smile was cold and confident,
Now, I assume you'll play nice or maybe you want to join him. He motioned his head to the now dead old man. The woman's face was deathly pale. She could only nod.
Two fingers from Captain's strong hand shoved her back into her chair. Captain returned to his seat and picked up a mobile from an end table. He barked an order and a pair of bouncers came in to remove the old man's body. The meeting went undisturbed after that. I don't think the remaining members of the syndicate had expected this turn of events. I'm sure that the man who died wasn't the leader of the whole organization, but he was definitely not just a stepping stone. Captain Sweden had just skipped half the ladder on the way to the top. Holy pickled herring.
So um, yeah... That tape coupled with the information of all the incoming weapon shipments should really give me some leverage. I'm in way too deep, but if I drown at least you'll know the truth.
April 21st
I can apparently be shot about four times before I start to black out. I can recover form four gunshots in about two minutes. During the time between recovering and blacking out, I can handle knocking out the group that shot me. Just barely though, but you know what... That sounded pretty awesome.
Weapon shipments can occur any time of the day or night. I found this out the hard way. I spent countless hours gathering the times and locations of the incoming shipments. The first shipment was three hours after the meeting with the syndicate. That was the easy location to find because it was mentioned during the meeting.
I stood around at the bar while I waited for those meeting to disperse. I passed the bartender some money and was given another ridiculously girly looking drink. I don't even think it had alcohol in it, but it wasn't really respectable for anyone to be drinking liquor on a weekday. A tiny part of me wished that I could just get drunk and forget about the events of the meeting. I knew the image of Captain killing that man in cold blood will haunt me forever. Even if I had drank a whole bottle of alcohol, I wouldn't stay drunk. My body's regeneration would cleanse itself of the alcohol's effects within five minutes. It was a nice thought, but I guess I couldn't hide from the truth.
I shook my head a few times and then got in position to follow the syndicate members out. They assembled outside near a pair of black autos. I slid over to the motorcycle I had bought a couple of weeks ago. (I guess I almost never learn, but I did put on my helmet. I wore a bike jacket too, though that just made me feel cool.) The bike was small enough not to be noticed and yet fast enough for me to keep up with the Syndicate. I leaned down onto it and followed them out onto the street. I'm not sure if they realized they were being followed or they were just paranoid drivers, but I had a really hard time keeping up with them.
We sped through the night for a while. I could smell the waters of the lake. We took the exit for Riddarfjärden. The autos slowed down as they reached the warehouses right off the bay. I eased the motorcycle into a shadow covered corner and crept up to where the autos had parked. I could hear their voices as they spoke to a pair of ship laborers. The laborers pointed to a small cargo truck in an empty clearing about twenty feet away from the syndicate members.
I watched as the cargo truck was sealed up. Inside of it was weapons. That was obvious. What was unclear was what I was going to do about it. The idea of letting these cheap thugs in suits get them wasn't very appealing. I had already decided I was going to try to use the information I had gathered to find a way out of my life, but it was hard to resist trying to do the right thing. My decision had already had been made in my heart. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't try to stop them.
My appearance was hidden under the helmet and biker jacket. I was wearing pretty average looking blue jeans and shoes. So essentially I could be anyone. I rolled my shoulders to get myself in the mindset to fight and then I ran in. I was able to survey my situation as I closed in the distance. There were five members of the syndicate and the two ship laborers. Three out of the five members were standing on guard. One was smoking a cigarette and another one was walking towards the truck. You know, maybe one against possibly seven wasn't very good odds, but I was a hero damn it.
I was about thirty feet away when the three guards started to fire. I was moving quickly enough that they couldn't get a good aim, but a pair of bullets rushed past me. My heart pounded in my ears. The distance between them and me narrowed. The roar of gunfire still filled the air. Then I felt the first bullet enter my stomach. Color flashed before my eyes.
My power is to heal quickly. I still feel pain though. Wow did I feel pain. It was the first time I had ever been shot. I tried my best to ignore it as I rushed the first guard. He pointed the gun at me and started to pull the trigger. I dodged to the right, then grabbed his wrist and pointed it at the second guard. The gun fired and struck the second guard in the chest. I don't think Syndicate members liked being shot either, but the guard took it a lot worse and collapsed.
The gunfire slowed as the third guard and cigarette smoker tried to get a clean shot at me. I applied pressure on the first guard's wrist and he dropped the gun. He brought his left his in to punch me, but I leaned backwards and brought my knee into his stomach. As he doubled over in pain, I was left temporarily open and another pair of bullets struck me. I wasn't sure how much longer I could stand the pain, but I could feel the first wound trying to heal. Maybe I could just ride it out and thrive off the extra adrenaline.
I slammed my elbow down into first guard and then brought my heel down on his head in a kick that caused him to eat gravel. Another guard down for the count. I took a quick glance to try to find the ship laborers. They were no where to be seen. Good. The seconds it took to reach the third guard felt like eternity. My body was aching and I could feel myself slowing down. I hadn't even dealt with the thug running to the truck. The third guard was firing on me and it was getting harder to dodge.
I closed the distance by leaping into a roll that positioned me behind the third guard. I stayed crouching and did a wide kick to sweep his legs out from underneath him. He started to fall but continued to fire wildly. I tried to grab at him to disarm him, but wasn't being very agreeable. We fumbled for a few seconds before I heard a muffled sound. I felt nothing but pain and the third guard slumped in my arms.
It took me a second to realize I had been shot again. This time it wasn't from a simple handgun. Blood dripped to the gravel from my chest. The one with the cigarette held a large silenced gun in his hands. My vision was getting blurry, but it looked like it was still smoking. I could taste blood in my mouth and my body was starting to shut down. I was feeling less like a hero.
He wasn't playing. I knew that. He had just shot through one of his own men to shoot me. I guess I couldn't play either I guess. I forced myself to focus my darkening vision and grab the third guard's gun. My experience with a gun is next to none, but I fired on the one with the cigarette anyway. Only one or two even struck him. The bullets barely grazed him, but it gave me the chance to close in the distance and slam the empty pistol across his face.
I don't think I stopped after the first strike. My vision went black and I was standing over him. He was barely conscious. I dropped the pistol and grabbed his silenced gun. If it was strong enough to go through a pair of people, hopefully it could blow out a tire. It took me too long to stumble back to where my motorcycle was. Riding while this beat up was probably suicide, but I wanted a way out?
My driving skills were seriously impaired, but I was feeling better by the minute. My breathing had stabilized and my vision had improved as well. The truck actually hadn't gotten that far and it was pretty easy to catch up to it. The motorcycle wobbled as I took my hand away to aim the gun. I steadied myself and fired twice. The first bullet struck the bumper, but the second hit the back tire. It was a miracle. I was in shock as the truck's tire came away from the vehicle. It was like in the movies.
The truck pulled to the right hard trying to compensate for the blow out. It slammed into a warehouse. I slowed down and pulled up besides the truck. There was no movement from inside and I took it as a cue to check on the driver. I dragged of the syndicate members out of the truck and then tried to see if the vehicle could still move. It was pretty worse for wear, but it was still operational. I put it in neutral and climbed out. The truck slowly started to roll backwards towards the lake. It was very satisfying to see it roll off the docks into the water.
By this point I was completely healed. I felt good. More than good, I felt great. I tossed my head back and breathed in. My healing factor was like that though. The harder I pushed myself, the better I felt in the end. I tossed the gun into the lake and hopped onto my motorcycle. I felt energized as I called the police to take care of the subdued situation. I could only hope that I didn't sound giddy as I told them that I had discovered several incapacitated Stockholm Syndicate members.
If I could stop one of the shipments, could I do something to stop the rest? The answer was unclear, but I am hopeful that things are going to be going in the right direction. All I knew was that I was definitely going to need a new bike jacket. This one is riddled with holes and tears. Oh well.
((So um yeah. I'm not giving up on this, but the fact is that I am going to take a break so that I can get to level 50. So... yeah. Whatever.
The blog might get some more updates, but this isn't... Just cause that's how I roll.
Peace, love and lots of fish.))
((This is my character diary for my super heroine, Lagom. She is located on the Virtue server. Feel free to contact me if you want to RP or if you just feel like chatting. I'll probably also be posting this to a blogger, but eh- I'm lazy at this second. I don't know what year it starts... So don't ask. =D Well, ta ta! Oh and if you're curious to know about the name Lagom, it's a Swedish word. Here is the wikipedia entry.))
The following are entries from the personal journal of Ella Brunell, known as the heroine Lagom and formerly as Lady Sweden. They were transcribed from her handwritten diary with her permission. The original entries were written in Swedish, and as thus translation errors may occur.
February 20th
Ah, well hello! This is the first time I've ever written in you. I feel very strange talking to a book. I was told that it makes it easier to formulate my thoughts if I write as if I'm talking to a person. That means you need a name, because Book is a pretty terrible name. Maybe I'll call you Kysa, that was the name of the little dog I had when I was a kid. Kysa was my best friend then and you'll be my best friend now. That sounds a little pathetic. Bah, oh well. No one gets to read this.
I suppose it is time for introductions. My name is Ella Brunell. I am twenty-four years old and my birthday is May 14th. I'm a girl of simple tastes. I enjoy eating traditional home cooking, like my mother makes and dancing. My life is not as simple though. I'm unlike most people. I'm a mutant. However, my powers aren't terribly flashy. I guess I'm a little stronger, faster, and such than normal people, but mostly my power is regeneration. My body can undergo pretty large amounts of damage and then simply heal itself. I feel totally ripped off.
Still, I've made the most of it. My regeneration powers mean I can push myself harder than anyone I've ever met. I guess that's why Parliament offered me a place on the super hero team they were sponsoring. They trained the hell out of me and then pushed me as “Lady Sweden.” They made me the partner of the group's leader, Captain Sweden. At first, I thought he was a total *****, but after a while we began to see eye to eye. Then after that, well- we saw a lot more. Yeah, I guess our whole relationship was set up as some sort of publicity stunt, but I really care for the idiot. I mean, come on, he's one of the most eligible men in Europe with probably close to a zillion girls in love with him and he is my boyfriend. It does make a girl feel good.
I guess I should stop prattling about my awesome boyfriend. Where was I anyway? Oh, about my team. I get along with everybody really great. Well, except for the other girl member. Her name is Zip Zap and she's a total- You know, I probably shouldn't write that down. Anyhow, she's always zooming around being a total sleaze. Every time I turn around, she flints past me just to flirt with Captain. I just hope he can see through her layers of makeup to see the true bimbo inside. Enough of her!
You know, I'm probably just being paranoid, but I feel like everyone in the group treats me differently because I'm just not on the same power level as them. Bah. I'm probably just being ridiculous. That's why I've started writing all this though. The team's counselor advised me to write down my thoughts so I can better understand why I feel the way I do. Either that or she's tired of me complaining about things. Silly that a super heroine dating Captain Sweden should ever have self-doubts. Right.
Goodnight for now, Kysa. I know already I like you much more than that darned counselor.
-Love,
Ella