I liked the ideas behind this, but as you say it's still in a bit of a draft form.
I've highlighted a couple of bits in the progression of the story that might be worth looking at if you're going to write this out again. The only other bit of the story I think should be expanded on is her fight through the lab. It's a good bit of action and possiblely some tension that should add something to the story.
Editing points:
This previous experience almost certainly kept me alive, being well trained and able to ignore disbelief, moving and slashing death with what turned to be 4, what I can only describe as zombies, dead but not dead envious of anything which is still alive and wanting not to be still in that form. This sound slightly convoluted.
The screens the security system seem to be locked at a certain moment, surprise, surprise 6:42, the records showed that there were 12 other people in the building at that time with one experiment scheduled to run starting at 6:30. If the screens are locked how is she able to see the data? If its all there on the monitors its probably worth mentioning.
Oh dear this is almost starting to look like spamming..I blame Psy..she said she wanted more stories. Ok this is actually a sort of a continution of a previous story..this follows on from The Woman and the Lions, think of it as another chapter in a longer story. The idea behind these stories is to explain the rationale for the heros and some of the villains Silver Spirit and I have made for CoX, there are clues and hints to a whole series of characters spread across them,which will build towards the larger story, how did they get their powers, why are they doing what they are doing and what will happen to them in the future. I hope people enjoy this one to be honest it's almost a precis the story could be significantly expanded but the essentials are all there.
She sat bolt upright in her bed the horror of the dream thankfully fading, a seeming smell of blood, corruption and death lingering around her, bedclothes twisted around her, cold sweat on her skin drying quickly. She glanced at her bedside clock...06:30 and lay back not understanding where that seeming explosion of foulness had come from calm now and remembering she was on holiday a well earned break, sun sand and surf. She dozed off only to be again violently woken from her dreams by the insistent bleeping of her mobile. As soon as it broke through to her consciousness she was wide awake that was the Red Ball ring, an emergency of some kind, she fumbled the mobile to her ear and hit the answer button and a cold computer voice said "Red ball code alpha one immediate presence online needed".
She rolled from the bed, rushed downstairs into the small office space under the stairs, shut the door and logged into the computer that sat there. A series of ever increasingly complex passwords later and a mission briefing appeared
"FYEO Red Ball code Alpha 1"
At 06:24 this morning the Darkmoor High Energy Physics Laboratory (Mod) went dark all simultaneous data feeds ceased. Severe power fluctuations were experienced by the nuclear power plant at Sandhaven which supplies the facility, initially a huge power drain before a huge surge that blew out over half of the safety precautions almost causing a severe incident. At 06:28 we received a flash notification from satellites over Europe indicating a huge burst of high energy particles, triangulation revealed that Darkmoor was the source. An overflight was tasked to give us a quick overview, this showed little the facility was dark and apparently deserted.
My apologies number 2 but you're closest and I do feel time is of the essence here, take the equipment from the store and get over there as quickly as possible, I'm sending you the associated data we have on the facility, floorplans and the like, I'm also including synopses of the staff present and their current research projects.
Oh well there goes my holiday, that feeling this morning, that dream, [censored], the time can't be a coincidence but what could it mean.
A smell, so evocative, of animal musk, dust, a flinty soil cooking in a fierce sun....
"Helena my dear we need to talk before you rush off and She was there, apparently walking out of the wall, her very presence a seeming impossibility, light streaming out of her, a goddess in the office come cupboard under the stairs. "Hmm I do feel a little more space might be more comfortable", with that we are sitting under a tree in the bush, the hot African sun beating down, outside the shade provided by the tree." Oh don't worry my dear you'll return with no time having seemed to have passed, we are between moments' I do feel you might need some explanation of what you might meet when you get to that place. Something terrible has happened there, which of course you felt even if you did not understand, that will come in time, the very fabric of our world, our dimension has been ripped, an abomination has occurred. You must ensure that the rip is sealed and after we'll have to talk again. Here take these my daughter..." and She held out three golden objects, an Ankh, a cat and some small swords all the size of charms as if from a charm bracelet.
"The Ankh is my symbol with this you shall be empowered it will protect you and heal the rift, I arm you with the claws of my lions and the swords of my warriors, take them, hold them, feel them"
She took them and felt the warmth flow through her I can feel their power but how do I use them My Lady."
Sekmet issued a throaty chuckle almost like a rumbling purr "Ever the practical one hmmm let me see...now what did Toth and Hephaestus say ahh yes here let me", and with this She took them from Helena's hand, the Ankh she gently pressed to Helena's chest, with which it sank into her skin becoming like a small golden tattoo, the Cat she placed on the inside of her left wrist and the Swords to the inside of her right wrist, where both like the Ankh sank into her skin becoming small golden tattoos." Now my Dear, touch the Cat..."
Helena did as she was told and suddenly she had claws, part of her hands part of her arms, razor sharp but seeming slightly as if you could see through them. She touched the Cat again and they vanished, she touched the swords and they were there in her hands perfectly balanced as if again they were part of her, a touch and they were gone. "The weapons will help you deal with what you will meet in there, when you have dealt with them and when you face the rift, touch the Ankh, it has been empowered to close the rift permanently. My dear I trust you implicitly with this task. After you have done this and reported by to your superiors at your day job, I think you should talk to your father about your family and its place in the scheme of things". And with a smile she was gone, I was back in the flats small hall facing a rather unremarkable cupboard come office, only the smell lingered to tell what had just happened. The time was as she said only a second or so has passed, damn I don't think I'll ever get used to that.
Ok, on the bike with the HUD in helmet running the directions and also an overview of the security schematics, an incredibly useful way to get the info you need without slowing you down, it does take a bit of getting used to but it's definitely worth it. So 40 minutes of sweeping high speed travel through empty country side roads I approach the Darkmoor Facility. It's not in total darkness there are sputtering, flickering lights in the early winter morning darkness but there's a feeling hanging over the place, a feeling of wrongness, there's no early morning birdsong only a brooding silence. The gate is half open, in the opening is a dark smear trailing up towards the buildings. I park up the bike setting its defences, proximity sensors and a nasty surprise for anyone getting too close. I decide against keeping the helmet, too restrictive but I took the HUD visor, knowing where I was going was too useful.
Alright that doesn't look good, the dark smear is blood, a viscous trail leading up to a door swinging in the slight breeze, approach with caution is the watchword. The door is the entrance to the duty security office, there should be 4 guards, armed with tasers nothing more dangerous but even so I duck and roll to enter, a noise to my left, an impression of teeth and claws, a smell of decay and corruption, instinctively I dodge rolling away to come to my feet, touching my left wrist, claws appearing ripping through foul rotten decaying flesh. Oh bloody hell zombies, where the hell did they come from, now I suppose I should point out that in previous instances I have encountered a few things which are deemed fictional or supernatural, in my line of work we are sometimes called upon to deal with the unusual so that people continue to believe they don't exist. This previous experience almost certainly kept me alive, being well trained and able to ignore disbelief, moving and slashing death with what turned to be 4, what I can only describe as zombies, dead but not dead envious of anything which is still alive and wanting not to be still in that form. Having dealt with them a little investigation is in order, they are the former security guards, fairly obviously something has gone seriously awry here. The screens of the security system seem to be locked at a certain moment, surprise, surprise 6:42, the records showed that there were 12 other people in the building at that time with one experiment scheduled to run starting at 6:30. Lead researcher on that project one Dr. Schwartzhartzen, a project codenamed Doorway, now see to anyone with my experience that rings alarm bells, sirens, hooters etc. The inability of some scientists and administrators to recognise the out of place is at times staggering, I mean that name, the project's name, that's almost like something from James Bond!
The next 90 minutes was severely unpleasant, I take no pleasure in killing and even if what you're killing is technically already dead that honestly doesnt really make all that much difference. I accounted for 11 of the researchers that were supposed to be on site, then there were the other things malformed creatures with too many teeth and limbs in the wrong places, I'm refraining from referring to them as demons but they did sort of fit the general description for that sort of thing. I worked to a sort of spiral and they all fell to my new claws, it was if I had always had them, they flowed with the forms I'd learned as a child, instinctive, beautiful in a deadly sort of way, eventually reaching the laboratory where Project Doorway had been running. The "demons" were thicker there but eventually the room was cleared revealing twisted scientific equipment, arcing electricity and what could only be described as a rip in space. Blackred light seeped from it along with a reek of death, decay and a foulness enough to make you gag, I did as I was told a opened my leathers to reveal the Ankh tattoo, I touched it and was bathed in a golden light, it pulsed out from me, finding the rip and enclosing it, englobing it, squeezing it and then with a flash it was gone and so was the rip. With that I heard the sound of equipment cycling, power returning and the lights came on revealing the twisted mess that had been made of the laboratory.
Literally 30 seconds later and the incoming call light was blinking in the lower right corner of my HUD, "Ah number 2 I presume with communications back up that you have, ahem, resolved the problem at Darkmoor". I almost laughed at that "Yes sir but I do feel that it's the special clean up crew to this one, oh and can I have access to all files on one Dr. Schwartzhartzen?" "I take it he's the one responsible for the incident?" "Yes sir it's looking that way, mind you if I at a glance can spot something fishy about him why the hell didn't the MoD?" "Number 2 I think you can expect a visit from a Mr Jenkins from the Ministry of Town Planning". "Pardon?" Ah my dear thats just the cover, your security clearance has just been raised to Ultraviolet and yes you previously weren't cleared to even know that level even existed" I almost hear the smile in his voice, "oh and I suggest you talk to your father about what he did in the 60s and how he met your mother."