The Rather Short & Damp Adventures of Thunder Frog

Issue 1: The Origin of Thunder Frog!

''I was an electrician.'' Thunder Frog said.

The supergroup leader dropped his head with pantomime grace, ''Oh fek, not another one.''

''Wha?'' cried the Frog.

''It's a popular one. Some guy builds himself a suit from his college knowledge and attempts to throw himself into fame and fortune. Problem is most of 'em throw themselves into a hail of bullets or in front of the train their trying to catch.''

The hero starred at Thunder Frogs yellow eyes which were in actuality, the top part of his helmet and appeared to be made out of cheap plastic or at best fibre glass. He then continued.

''How old are you?''

''41.'' Thunder Frog replied.

''And how long have you been an electrician?'' asked the hero.

''19 years.'' said Thunder Frog.

''Wife? Kids?''

''Married with two little girls.'' said the Frog.

The hero narrowed his eyes at the peeling ''F'' on Thunder Frog's costume.

''So lemme get this straight.'' the supergroup leader said,

''Your 41. Have been in a profitable and secure trade job for 19 years. You have two young daughters and pressumably a wife who loves you. Why precisely do you want to dress up as a frog, bounce 150 feet into the air and electricute people?''

''Sh*ts and giggles?'' said the Frog.

Frog's answer in was reaction to the hero's tone and the hero although self important, saw this. He took no insult dispite this and found himself starring at Frog's false eyes again. He then looked at Frog, not saying anything.

''There was a woman who lived next door to me.'' Frog said.

''Her husband cheated on her I heard. He managed to get the kids. A couple of months after that she was in a car accident and lost the use of legs. Well her left leg but what it matter. She still went to work, She pushed on in her wheelchair. She would always smile. She had a frog pond and the kids and her would watch the frogs hop about.''

The hero looked at Frog's real eyes.

''I swear she was the unluckist son of a [censored], because not more than a week later her house was robbed and they smashed up a lot of stuff. But still she would smile. She would smile at my kids if I was taking them somewhere and they would wave to her. Sometimes she would babysit for us, the kids really liked her, she was great with them. She'd make these weird Mexican treats for them.''

Frog sighed.

''She was murdered by Hellions one night coming home. For what reason I don't know. Probably no reason. She was always nice to my kids. And dispite her own hardships she went on with a smile.''

Frog looked right at the hero.

''It's for her I fight.''

The hero starred at Frog. ''You realise I'm a mindreader right?''

''Yer. Figured.'' said the Frog. ''But even so I had you for a minute :P''

''You think death is funny?!'' the hero screamed.

''Only when it's Brian Blessed.'' Frog replied.

''You fiend! I love BB!'' the hero cried as he tried to attack Thunder Frog. Thunder Frog hopped back.

''This is what you do?! Waste supergroup's time with your rambling lies?!''

''I don't wanna join your nub supergroup!'' the Frog shouted.

''I'll get you Thunder Frog! I'll expose you as the fiend and glowing box hunter you really are!''

''LOL'' said the Thunder Frog.



(Sorry...very bored at work)

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The Smoking Demon
Ash/Tar Corruptor
Union

@The Smoking Demon

Issue 2: Frog Fu! (?!)

''Get arf.'' the Tsoo tattoo artist said in Chinese.

''No.'' said The Terrific Thunder Frog.

''I need me noodles!'' said the artist.

''Tuff.'' said the Frog.

''You mean.'' said the artist

''I only half electrocuted you, stop moaning and ink the damn frog on my a*se.''

''I'm not touching your a*se.'' said the Tsoo tattoo artist.

''You don't have to touch it. Just ink it with your pen thing.'' said the Frog.

''I don't want my pen on your a*se either.'' said the artist.

''I'll fully electrocute you if you don't.'' said the Frog.

''Do it. Because I would rather be fully electrocuted than have me or my pen touch your a*se.''

''Ok.'' said the Frog.

Thunder Frog then electrocuted the Tsoo tattoo artist at full strength.

''Now do it!'' said the Frustrated Frog, wanting magical frog powers.

''Hello?'' Said the Frog.

''Oh poo.''

Frog looked around to see if anyone had witnessed his albeit unintentional slaying of a surrendered man in order to get a tattoo done on his a*se.

Frog thought what to do next. It was at this moment that together with the eratic movement of his leapfrog boots and his rather random strengthed discharges of huge amounts of electricity from his gaunlets, Frog realised could form the basis of his new own martial art...Frog Fu! Now for someone to train this new deadly style upon!..


''er ih'' questioned lord. of fire (probably with those Hollow shoulder pad things), starring at the lifeless body of the surrendered Tsoo artist and then at Frog's grinning face.

''Oh.. Why hello there.'' Frog grinned with glee.

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The Smoking Demon
Ash/Tar Corruptor
Union

@The Smoking Demon