Journal Entry: Status of The Silent Tempest

(( This following is a personal journal entry and not IC accessible by others. I have actually thought whether or not make this even OOC available, but decided to do so. The tone is rather negative as Coile wrote this in the middle of the night and feeling somewhat depressed. ))

** Journal entry - 16.9.2006, 4 am **

Dawn
She has withdrawn. Any and all attempts to maintain a contact have fallen through. She goes to lengths to stay away from the team and especially me. She is hardly ever around except for organized occasions and even so she seldom says anything. She is bordering hostile and is at least aggressive. She makes it very clear that any contact attempt by the team will be seen as intrusion and if I ask someone else to check on her it's "putting others to do my dirty work".

Her nanobot reserves in her suit have been fixed, so her life is not in danger. Xan also says that with his tech she eventually could be cured and leave the confinement of her suit. She refuses. She actually prefers to be imprisoned in her suit. She has made a conscious choice to separate herself from us and maybe the rest of humanity. I have no idea how to stop it or reverse it. I don't know if a romantic relationship with me would have prevented this, but it's useless speculation since that's one thing I can't give her. I failed to save Coila from herself and now it looks like I'm failing Dawn.

Marcella
I thought getting Marcella into Tempest would have been a good idea. She has been a good fighter and good company so far. I've liked working with her. Maybe it all was because she had a thing for me? Judging from her behaviour so far she is not a team player. Right after the meeting where she was accepted into Tempest for two week trial she just left saying if we were going on patrol we could call her. Meaning, she blew us off socially. She was available for a job, not for getting to know each other better.

Then another time she came after me and Sword to ask if there had been a problem at the statue. When we explained the problem she just disagreed with us and left. Just like that. She isn't interested in team perspective or seem to care about her supposed team members the least. She has ten days to turn around. If she doesn't, we either decline her or have another unbalanced non-team loose cannon in our hands.

Dark Rose
No sign of her in two weeks. No word, no nothing. It seems to be how she operates. Alone. She doesn't seem to regard Tempest as anything more than a resource. To her the team seems to be means to her own ends. She comes by when she likes, takes an offense way too easily and storms off, putting it all on her inability to have the male mind control the female hormones. Is this excuse supposed to explain whatever unpredictable whims she throws in our way?

As Sword says Rose takes the easy path. That will mean she'll fail when it comes time to make hard decisions. She is fickle and will leave when she feels like it. Either by quitting altogether or just storming off at a bad time. How can we depend on someone like that? Subaiku might have been correct in questioning her loyalties. So far they are severely lacking.

Kitia
She is my oldest friend. What's left of my childhood now that Coila's gone. And she's not Kitia anymore. What happened to her? She was a considerate girl. She was the first girl I had feelings for, the first girl I kissed. She stayed my friend even after breaking up with me and I didn't make it easy on her. Time and again she seemed to find the middle way when me and Andrea clashed. And now she is something else.

She wasn't able to cope with the duties that the hero license imposes on her, her [censored] relationship with Coila until Coila aborted it, or with just any change. The city got to her in a bad way. She cracked in her mind and the foul magics changed her inner being. She has turned from a friend to a parasitic wraith and a threat. She is an invasive force that destabilizes everything. She has created a horrible dependency which she imposes on me and Nadia without any regard how it affects us. It could destroy Nadia. That is something I will not allow.

Kitia is now gone which is her usual state of being. She comes and goes at her very own pace while claiming any prolonged separation from us would mean her death. I hope sincerely that wherever she now went she will find her balance. And live. If she comes back I'll be forced to take action. Find a cure for her even if deep in I know she would want one just as much as Dawn does. Even so I have to. Currently her adamant dependency is the biggest threat to Nadia's sanity. I want my friend back. And I can't. Instead I'll move heaven and hell to shield the love of my life from her.

Nadia, Sword of Truth
Who am I kidding? There is no Sword of Truth any more. I've destroyd it. She is now Nadia, not a fierce warrior woman completely taken over by her conviction in serving the Justice, but a woman in love with a man. She bent her rules for me until they broke. She traded her principles for her own happiness. Henri says his daughter is cold like the statues in front of court house. Now the marble has cracked and fallen off.

Sword of Truth has ceased to be. There is no call of Justice, no Truth to pursuit for her. She is surprised to be able to wield a sword without cutting herself. She is operating blindly. She doesn't have the self-assurance anymore. Now she can make mistakes and get really hurt, or worse. Her fierce belief in the righteousness of her actions has evaporated. So far it has been the old steam that has driven her. A strong shove is likely to cause her to stumble and fall. Permanently.

In combat she gets distracted if I take a blow and go down for the count. She always had an eye for smart fighting. Now she gets distracted by me. At first it felt good to have her show concern, even hug me after a fight and make sure I was not hurt too badly. Now she sometimes seems to be beside herself when I open my eyes again. Frantic. Without defenses. Her feelings for me are pushing through more strongly. I wouldn't mind if it wasn't in the middle of combat. Since she joined the team I've always relied the most on her skills and tactical eye. For how long can I do that?

I think she's hanging by a thread. Any false move and she loses what she has now. Then any aspect of Sword is gone and only Nadia the attorney remains. It will be as predicted - she'll be just a woman who has a job. I'll stand by her, of course. I'll grow old with her and marry her when she's ready. Maybe when Sword is totally gone she'll let go the last piece of control that she has of her independent life and commit to matrimony.

She puts out a face that she'll take whatever comes as she has made her own choices. But I know she'll resent the situation if she drops out of the hero game. I'll do whatever I can to keep the balance and help her redefine her role, to arrange her thoughts. I believe it's possible for her to be both Nadia and Sword, she can love and hear the call of Justice. I know it's possible. I just have to find the way and get her to walk it. It's just a such thin line to walk and I'm mostly blind too. Two blind ones trying to see the light before we step off the path. If Kitia returns the path will crumble and Nadia will just fall destroying whatever chances I have of rebuilding the Sword of Truth.

Students: Rakila, Inhilde, Phiseeque
Rakila ditched the town. She left without a word and sent one postcard three months later. That's how much she needs me. Inhilde did the right thing on my urging and turned herself in with the Longbow. I couldn't keep her out of the prison. I think. Longbow tells me nothing. Phiseeque practically lives in the hospital, for months now. None of them needs a teacher. I'm closing down the school since it's been closed for an eternity anyway. I'll give it another thought if it is needed again.

Fletched Alliance
Meadow and her nictus are troublesome. No respect, no regard for inter-team efforts. Akkarin lacks the guts to take steps. He'll just try to affect the situation. He evades the responsibility by distributing it around to his co-leaders so that no one is really in charge. They have until next Tuesday to pull their act together. Otherwise I'll present to Tempest that we break the coalition that so far has had no meaning at all. If they can't get a member of theirs to behave we can't trust their ability to keep themselves organized in the battlefield either. What we need is allies who can aid us, not fluffy vampires without fangs and spines with a ragtag posse of explosion junkies who can't tell one stupid girl not to rain on other people. Doesn't Akkarin see that this directly reflects on his ability to run an efficient team?

Conclusion
I haven't written anything about Subaiku's secrets. Or Nadia's argument with our allies in Ghost Tiger Investigations. Xan is still steady as a rock but after his return from search for Dawn I see him only rarely. Steel Guard has turned completely around from reclusive and snide to supportive and almost nice. I'm not sure how to relate to him now.

All in all the alliances are boiling to nothing, the team is fragmenting, our recruits are more weakening the whole than strenghtening and the woman I love is constantly in danger of losing herself.

It would be easier to let it all just fall apart but then I would be failing the team in all the ways I'm critisizing others. We can't do everything, we say, but we do what we can. It applies also to running a team. I have to make my very best effort to salvage what I can and discard what would end up damaging us more than helping. Make the hard decisions that Rose can't. Be the team player that Marcella isn't. Make the contact that Dawn won't. Have the backbone to deal with harmful members unlike Akkarin, to deal with Kitia if she resurfaces. And be the conviction and guidance to Nadia until she finds it within herself again. If I can't do that I may as well pack up and go back home to fix robots and blast at wooden dummies.

Sky goddess above, this ended up being more negative than I intended. There's a lot of good stuff going on too. Still, maybe it's better to vent out all the negativity, give it a positive spin and talk to the people. Give them the truth without the stinging undercurrent.

** End of personal entry **


** Journal entry - 18.9.2006, 7 am **

Dark Rose is back and says she has something important to share with us. Marcella took part in another operation along with us. Maybe I can help them to become a real part of Tempest yet.

Nadia is rediscovering the Sword of Truth. That scares me. She's not an agent of Justice anymore. She's a woman fighting for what she thinks is a worthy cause. While her reflexes are the same her mindset is not ready. She is too afraid that something happens to me. My impulsive fighting style isn't helping.

It looks like it's now 'make or break' time. She's dropped down all her defenses where I'm concerned. Last night she said "yes". Sky goddess above watch over me and my wife.

** End of personal entry **

Tempest update 10.10.2006

Subaiku missing
She has gone missing. No replies, no sightings. I want everyone to try and find out about this quickly. If the Crown caught her we'll go in guns blazing and show them what's what. Just - I can't stress this enough - do NOT let Ripmind get near you. If for some reason she's fallen into the hands on the Council, well, we clashed with their troops during Requiem War so much that we should know their by now.

Jorn Odurson
Two days back me, Sword and Dustine met this guy Odurson who says he's a half-god. I don't know if he is but I know gods of the old walk the Earth, so he might be. And he sort of feels like one. It's not how hard he bashes the Crey goons because it seemed about the same as the rest of us. It's his voice. It's like listening to a fireplace. Anyway, his past associates have retired so he's looking for company to work with. So far he's been sound and friendly. I'll see what the local files have on him, and ask Pyr to do a check. I saw Pyr last night but she got busy so I had to postpone it.

The Militia
Me and Sword met a few days ago a girl called Dragonfly in Pocket D. She belongs a group called the Militia. Someone called the Minister seems to be a leader. She mentioned about maybe them wanting to work together with us. Last night me and Dustine ran into two more of them, Nightsparrow and Lady Cobra. We worked together in Dark Astoria for a bit. The cobra lady said she'd heard about something about a possible alliance forming. I have to look up some leader of them, maybe the Minister, and see what they really want.

I don't know if we'll form formal ties with them. Might be a difference in how to handle the thugs. Dragonfly killed clan enemies back in her home country. She's switched to using the blunt edge of her blade here in paragon City, she says. Nightsparrow says she doesn't care if people she's bringing in get killed. No regard for any life by what I understood. Then again Lady Cobra was not comfortable with killing the Rikti. So, we seem to be dealing with extremes. How they can work together is beyond me.

Even if we don't commit us to anything I think we can work with these people, at least for now. It's actually needed seeing the number of our active operatives. One thing I'll make sure is that they don't have any Nicti among them. The real deal. Warshades are okays, I think.

The Rikti
I want this to be clear. The Rikti war is not over. The Vanguard and all the heroes of the world put a stop to the Rikti getting constant reinforcements only. They threaten us still. Given the chance they will wipe us out. They are an invading force and must be dealt with. Harshly. We apprehend our perps and I know, sometimes they end up back on the streets. We can't help that, we just bust them up again if they go back to crime. However the Rikti are to be dealt with with extreme force. If some of you don't wish to take part in this, at least don't get between me and Sword and Rikti troops.

Crey Industries
I suggest you don't use any Crey products if you can avoid it.

Next meeting
Tonight. Try to find out things before that. Subaiku, Odurson, Militia. Odurson might attend to introduce himself.

(( Tempest access only ))

Sam contacted me about MAGI. They can't be positive based on the footage that Subaiku is dead. It's all inconclusive. We don't know.

Dustine, Odurson: this falls on your lap. I don't know anything about magic. Considering Subaiku's origins you have the best chance at finding out if she is somewhere healing, or if she perished. If you need anything for this, just ask. My contact network isn't all that big but I'll see what I can get when I know what is needed.

I have buried two Tempest members already. One returned, but that's still two too many. Find Subaiku for me. I don't want to bury a third.

Attached is again the Steel Canyon university park footage.

Surveillance footage. The camera was bit off to the left side and at distance.

00:03:17 Subaiku appears out of the shadows, standing at the place where Coile's flower used to be. She is wearing her white and blue Tempest outfit and carrying something. She kneels and with care places the item she was carrying next to her. It is about ft long cubic box, and she handles it like it is something very precious. She then appears to be digging the ground.

00:09:21 Subaiku takes the box, opens it and takes some small object from it. It is hard to say what it is exactly, but probably no longer than couple of inches and cylinderic.

00:09:42 Subaiku moves like she is about to put the object to the ground, when she suddenly jerks sharply, and is hit by a bullet to her chest (The white in her chest becomes dark). She reels and it takes a moment for her to get back on the game. There is more gunfire a few seconds later and Subaiku shields the box with her body. Holding the box, she rolls to the side, trying to evade most of the firing.

00:09:49 Council troops enter the camera's view and Subaiku bounces at them, leaving the box behind. The council keep firing at her and somewhat just generally around, and it is possible she is hit again. There is 10 council members, 6 more "basic troops", 2 with different headwear (lieutenants?), one sniper and one who appears to be in command. They try to move around Subaiku to surround her (or to get to the hole/box/whatever, based on what happens later).

00:09:57 Subaiku has downed two of the troopers, and slides behind a third. She twists his neck in a way that is not very likely to leave him alive. She seems to be able to fight, but is slower and rougher than usual, lacking grace and finesse.

00:10:06 Subaiku notices some of the troops moving towards the flowerspot (no one has been firing that direction yet), and instantly abandons the fight to intercept. The men she left seem reluctant to continue fighting and are shuffling around. One of the lieutenants (from the group that was heading to the spot) fires his flamethrower, aiming for a sweeping motion from Subaiku to the box. She doesn't dodge, but moves to close range to grab the weapon. For a brief moment, she is engulfed in flames before she gets the weapon. She does something to him, and he drops like a sack of potatoes. Subaiku, her hair still smouldering flees to the box, grabs it and runs for it. Council troopers shoot after her, more for the show than to harm her.

00:10:16 The leader yells at his men, the fallen are looked after and rest gather around him, at the place where Subaiku digged. They search the ground extensively, until one of the raises his hand. The leader rushes to him and grabs something from him. He studies it briefly and then nods.

00:23:33 Council leaves, carrying three fallen men with them.

00:31:42 Subaiku returns, she is moving considerably slower and more careful and tensely than usual. She kneels down, opens the box. She takes out the flower and places it respectfully to the ground. After the flower is returned to it's place, she sinks down where she was kneeling. She lays still for about fifteen seconds, then her form slowly dissolves into shadows.

Hey Tempesters.

I'm with Sparrow back home, the farm. I came here to settle some matters that were left from last visit.

Something sort of went wrong. I met an old friend and things got heated. I got shot. The friend died. In hospital they thought I was some quantum danger and shipped me to father's farm to recuperate, after the surgery. I got painkillers and stuff.

I would like to get out of here. Come back to Paragon City, have some healer handle the wound. Get back into action. Without some special healing this chest wound will take weeks to get better.

I had some doubts about me leading Tempest anymore this year. Bah, it's my job, so I better do it, and do it well. Like, it's part of my life. I can't change that and I don't want to change that.

I know this might be hard to grasp, and you're not alone, but I'm living now with Nightsparrow. Lady Cobra gave us a penthouse in Founders' Falls. What's up with that? She's way richer than I thought. Apparently her giving elephants to Xan was no joke.

Did I mention that I want out of here? Not that company isn't good but hey, those of you who've been shot, you know it's not exactly a comfy living. I try to go low on painkillers just not to be completely zonked out, but that leads to a thing I call 'constant pain'. Too bad Mediports don't work from here.

Dinner's ready. I'll be in touch.