First, check your friendly ParagonWiki and dig up as much info on Bane Spiders and the couple arcs that revolve around them for info. From there you can make some decisions for yourself on what you think your run of the mill Bane would be capable of.
If I remember right, isn't it more that they're all on a mental network, not necessarily being controlled? If that's the case, then you're only limited by how much your character would be capable of while all his brothers are aware of your actions and thoughts. Now it's possible punishment can be delivered over this network as well, so that's a concern to bear in mind.
There may also be some Bane Spider AT arcs that deal with this mental link specifically, perhaps even severing it. Or you could explore personal backstory options relating to just such an action yourself to give yourself more "freedom."
A Bane Spider has had rigorous training and a hard life beginning since childhood, that should likely reflect in your speech and mannerisms. It'd be like RPing a militaristic character, but with the darker tinges that can be assumed in Arachnos training (brutality, assassinations, feuding between factions, high penalties for failures).
Is that helpful at all? Or do you have any specific questions in mind?
Arc ID: 475246, "Bringing a Lord to Power"
"I'm only a simple man trying to cling to my tomorrow. Every day. By any means necessary."
-Caldwell B. Cladwell
The "Hive Mind" Bane soldiers only appear in one arc, and their reaction is similar to the 7th Generation Paragon Protector world on the Blueside...
"They're not like us! Destroy all not like us!"
No Bane arcs within the VEAT story. The leveling system treats it like it's just normal training.
Since you're really only getting access to Bane Spider abilities, it could be considered that you're not really a "Bane Spider," but a Soldier of Arachnos with the devices and training normally attributed to the Bane Spiders.
Whatever you make your character, Amahte, remember this: Bane Spider VEATs are pretty much Rambo for this game. If you don't understand, watch Rambo: First Blood, part II or Rambo, then you'll see.
Bane Spiders are to drool for!
My Stories
Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.
Thanks both of you for the help, I went back and read that arc and I guess what I came up with is they are blocked from feeling things like happiness, compassion, etc.
Your right though, to me it does seem that the VEATs are more like Equipped Soldiers as opposed to true Banes trained from children. Of course it just depends on how you roleplay it.
And oh yeah I know what you mean lol 
Before I start I just want to say that I know there is know exact way to roleplay anything and that whatever I want should be fine. That said I would still like to hear some opinions from those who have input on the subject
Hi everyone, I've recently created a SOA and as im getting closer to level 24 I was wondering what would be the correct way to roleplay a bane given the fact that they are somewhat mind controlled. I'm not sure if I lose free will to some degree, or all together.
Also a side question, if in fact roleplaying a bane means giving up a lot of my personality would it be okay to roleplay with bane abilities but seen as the Mace that Wolfspiders sometimes use.
Thanks everyone for your time