Fiction: Fairy Tale (Addendum)

When I wrote my biography for City Hall-you know, the one they keep on file so people can find out more about you?-it started out something like this:

"I wasn't always a four foot tall magical fairy princess, you know. Actually, I'm still not a princess, but if you're a five foot tall handsome fairy prince, let me know!"

I was joking, of course. I didn't expect anyone to take me seriously, nor did I really want anyone to. I mean, sure, I'm as interested in romance as much as the next girl, but I was happy the way thing were, with me and 'Razur and the Teamsters.

One day, as 'Razur and I were leaving the base in Atlas Park, everything changed.

I was engaged in arguing with him over something stupid, so I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. As I emerged from the portal, I ran smack into a broad chest. As hands came up to my shoulders to steady me, I realized (to my surprise) that the person I had run into was only around a foot taller than me!

The chest and hands belonged to a face, of course. I mean, they usually all go together, unless you're involved with the Vahzilok, but let's not talk about them. Brown hair hung into black eyes, and pointed ears-like mine-arced back on either side of the head. Over one shoulder, I could see the tip of one insectoid wing, rust colored at the top fading into a sort of pine green at the bottom.

Around the time I spotted the wings, the stranger let go of my shoulders and dropped to one knee in front of me.

"Milady!" he said, "Truly, thou'rt the very jewel in this fair city! Couldst thou be the very one I seek?"

"Um," I said, stalling for time, "I...don't know. Who are you looking for? And why?"

I glanced at 'Razur. He looked as confused as I felt. I think at that point we were both wondering the same things-who the heck was this guy and why was he kneeling to me? And why did he talk like a character out of Shakespeare?

"Milady, I have been sent to Paragon City to train myself as a knight. My name is Alaric Stormwarden, and I am the youngest son in the line of Oberon and Titania. Upon arriving here, I met a truly strange human woman, by name of Azuria, who told me that there was one I should seek out to help me in my task. The name of the person I seek is Snap Play. Art thou her?"

This was getting more and more confusing. If Oberon and Titania were real, and were this person's parents, that would make him a prince. A fairy prince, to be exact. And he was looking for me because Azuria sent him.

I began to suspect that Azuria's real talents lay somewhere in the realm of matchmaking-or at least that it was a hobby of hers. Of course, this could just be revenge for my own heroic debut. We did seem to get off on the wrong foot, after all.

Since I was too busy trying to figure things out, 'Razur spoke for me. "Yeah, she's Snap Play. We just call her Snap though. S'what she's good at."

I shot him a Look. It was the kind of Look that withers most people. 'Razur, being used to it, just grinned at me. I sighed inwardly.

"Yes," I confirmed, turning my attention back to Alaric, who was still kneeling. "I'm Snap Play. Stop kneeling like that, you'll break a kneecap or something! It's not like I'm royalty or anything!"

"Truly though doest thyself a misservice, milady," he said, but he did stand up, if only to eye 'Razur warily.

Now, at this point, 'Razur had done nothing but stand there and smirk. This is completely normal for him, and those of us who hang around him on a daily basis are pretty much used to it. The problem was, Alaric turned to look right into 'Razur's face at this point, and 'Razur grinned at the (much) smaller man, which is...not a pleasant sight if you're not used to it.

'Razur grins the same way a tiger does before it eats you, fangs and all.

"Milady, who is this man, and why doth he stand watching like that? Perhaps your highness' bodyguard?"

"No, my, uh, partner."

Now Alaric just looked flustered, which is not surprising. I'm not even totally sure how I ended up with 'Razur, and I don't expect anyone else to comprehend our relationship at first, second, or even third glance.

"We work together, that's all," I clarified quickly, seeing the look of disbelief that fought with an expression of distaste on Alaric's face as he looked at 'Razur. "To fight crime. We're heroes."

Was it just me, or did the other fairy actually look relieved to hear that? "Oh."

"And actually we were just on our way to a mission, so if you'll excuse us, it was nice meeting you, um, Alaric." I began to hover a few inches off the ground, preparatory to launching myself into the air in the direction of the mission. We were supposed to defeat an Arachnos agent by the name of Operative Lo Pan, which made me want Chinese food really bad for some reason. "Well, bye!"

If you were just thinking that it couldn't possibly have been that easy to get rid of him, you'd be right. I've since learned that when Alaric has an idea, he does not let go of it without a fight.

He followed us all day long as we cleared out various Arachnos cells. Every time we entered a building, we left him at the door, hoping he'd leave. Every time we left, there he was. After about the third time we came outside to find he waiting for us, I decided that this was a problem that needed solving immediately. I wasn't about to spend the rest of my days as a hero trying to avoid someone else. The city's not that big.

"Why are you following us?" I asked bluntly. "Don't you have to go, like, train to be a knight or something?"

"Indeed, but I would quickly surrender that for but a chance to fight at milady's side!" he answered.

"But your security clearance has to be level, what? Two? Three? Ours is...what is ours now, 'Razur? I forget."

"Forty two and forty three," my partner answered, leaning on the building we'd just come out of.

"Right. Way too high for you. Go arrest some bad guys or something, the stuff we're working on is way out of your league!"

I swear he looked like I'd kicked him. I'm not sure why, but at this point 'Razur-my own partner!-betrayed me.

"He could be your sidekick," he pointed out calmly.

Alaric agreed enthusiastically. "Aye, that's so! I could be your sidekick, and thereby fight at your side always!"

I glowered at 'Razur. "I don't need a sidekick."

"He could help you with things. Moving furniture, for instance. You could send him scouting and make him pick up laundry and all those other things you hate doing."

"Anything milady commands!" Alaric agreed, looking hopeful.

"But I don't need a sidekick!"

Well, you don't want to hear the rest of that particular argument. Needless to say, I ended up with Alaric as my sidekick, which is how I managed to find myself trudging through the sewers, cursing 'Razur under my breath, and trying (not very hard) to be nice to Alaric. Then I found myself going through the Hollows again, and choosing to listen to the Kings Row police band and take care of things which I would normally leave for lower-level heroes.

I will admit that at some point during all this low-level running around with more than half my powers suppressed, I stopped hating the idea of having a sidekick. I also started getting used to Alaric, although it still irritates me that I can only work with either him or 'Razur and not both at once. 'Razur will usually give up my company in Alaric's favor, which seems to have soothed whatever tension there was between them on their first meeting. If I didn't know better-and I'm not saying I do-I'd say they were perpetually up to something.

In any case, I now have my five foot tall handsome fairy prince, whether I want him or not. He's more "pretty" than "handsome" in the classical sense of the word, and I still don't know if I believe he's a prince (although he does walk the walk, as the saying goes), but that's beside the point. He's awfully persistent, though. I have yet to convince him that I'm not royalty (and have no wish to become royalty either!) and while most girls wish their whole lives that they could fins someone to treat them like a princess, I just wish he'd act, well, normal. Paragon City normal, not regular normal. I mean, sure, it's nice to have someone worship the ground you walk on...for about five minutes. Sonnets and flowery compliments get old fast. Luckily he seems to be picking up some more modern mannerisms lately.

I guess the moral of this story (if it even has a moral) is, be careful what you joke about. It could happen to you. No, really!

ROFLOL!

The original story thread for this that I created in the Protector forums got purged...you can find the first part of the story here if you are interested.