Fiction: Fairy Tale (Complete)

Okay, first of all, ignore what the title says. This is not a fairy tale. Yes, I'm a fairy, and yes, it's a story-or "tale"-about me, but that doesn't make it a fairy tale, okay?

Fairy tales have-oh, I don't know, handsome princes and damsels in distress and castles and wizards and knights in shining armor and lords and ladies and moats and fanstastical creatures and quests and prophecies and...and magic, and things like that.

Well, okay, there is magic in this story. It's kind of a story about magic, I guess. And there is sort of a lord in it too. And I guess there are a few quests.

That still doesn't make it a fairy tale, though.

My name used to be Jodie Wilkins. It's not any more, not since I got turned into a fairy. Oh, right, I'm supposed to tell you how that happened, aren't I?

Well, I used to be a librarian. There will be a lot of "used to be"s in this story, so you might want to get used to it now. I also used to collect books. I still do, sort of, only now the ones I collect are magical and before they were normal books. At least, most of them were.

I'm getting off topic. I used to be a librarian, and I worked in the Steel Canyon branch of the University. One day, a professor asked me to go to the Salamanca branch (you know, Croatoa) to pick up a book for him. I figured, why not? I mean, technically it's part of my job. Besides, Salamanca is an interesting place, you know, once you get past all the monsters.

So I went to the Salamanca branch on my lunch break and I picked up the book, and on my way back to the train, I noticed this little book store. It had never been there before as far as I knew, but I figured that I had probably just not noticed it because I usually read while I walked. Reading is so relaxing, isn't it? I'm getting off track again.

I had a little extra time before my break was over, so I went into this book store, and they were having a sale! All of the books on one certain table in the middle of the store were on sale, really cheap. Well, let me tell you, I just couldn't resist. I mean, it was right there, and I had a little extra money, and I was sure I could find shelves for them in my apartment, so I started sorting through the stacks, looking for ones that looked interesting. Some of them were in really bad shape. I started stacking them in piles on the table while I looked, and I found the book that ruined my life. Well, or made it better. I guess you could see it either way. Where was I? Oh, right. This book. Well, it was a very slim book, about half the length of an ordinary paperback, and it had a hard black cover embossed with a pair of silver butterfly wings. As soon as I touched it, I knew it was the one book I had to have, no matter what. I went up to the counter, and an old, old man rang me up. Clutching my new book and the Professor's book, I got on the train and headed back to Steel Canyon.

After work that night I curled up on the couch with my new book, ready to start reading. This is where telling you what exactly happened gets a little tricky. See, I don't actually remember what happened! I know I started reading the book. I know that a week later, I stopped. I'm not sure what happened in between and I can't remember what the book was about, either. I've tried.

Anyhow, I felt really cramped when I stopped reading, and my back was really, really sore, so I put the book down on the end table and stood up. At that point, I should have noticed that everything was a lot bigger than it had been, but I was tired and achy. I decided to go into the bathroom and take a hot shower, figuring that would help me feel better.

See, when you go into the bathroom, the mirror is over the sink, right? That was when I started to realize that something was very, very wrong. I couldn't see myself in the mirror, and it was a lot higher up than it had been before. I dragged in a chair (also huge) and climbed up on it...and I got the shock of my life.

When I sat down with that book, I was a little closer to six feet than five. I was slightly overweight (okay, more than slightly) and my hair was frizzy and my skin wasn't all that great either. I'll admit it, if we were at a party, I'd probably be the last person you would ever talk to. Actually, I probably wouldn't have been invited to the party in the first place. I've never been particularly sociable.

What I saw in the mirror was an extraordinary-looking young woman, with big gray eyes and perfect skin and long, straight hair. After about ten minutes of staring at myself, I decided to take a shower anyhow and hope the water would wake me up. As I undressed, I found out why my back hurt so badly.

Hanging limply down my back under my nightgown (and they never have since!) was a pair of wings, exactly like the butterfly wings embossed on the book's cover. I touched them with my hands, and realized that I could feel myself touching them-that they were attached to me! After a little experimenting, I figured out how to stretch them out and move them. Once they were stretched, they never folded again, as I mentioned before, but sometimes I wish they would. It's hard to get dressed without bending one!

Let me tell you, and I know, I'm wandering off from the story again, but let me tell you, magic is sometimes a wonderful thing. My wings take color from anything I'm wearing, and I mean anything! They're like chameleon skin or something. I mean, I can will them to be other colors, sure, but they will always match my outfit! How cool is that?

Anyhow, the shower didn't wake me up, because I wasn't asleep. Instead, it made me sleepy, so I resolved to go immediately and talk to Azuria at MAGI the next day and see if there was a hero who could help me or something. I figured, if I was a fairy-and that looked logical-then it had something to do with the book (also logical) and someone should be able to turn me back. After all, a fairy can't expect a normal life anywhere, let alone in Paragon City! You practically have to become a hero or a villain. I couldn't imagine myself as a villain, and I definitely did not approve of some of the outfits I'd seen heroines wearing. Have you seen them? Skimpy little things, bikini tops and leather pants and miniskirts. I mean, really-shouldn't you be a role model if you're going to be a heroine? What kind of role model dresses like that?

I checked my messages before I went to bed. Unsurprisingly, after not having shown up for a week, I was fired. "Nobody even came to check on me," I said to myself, "so they can't have cared all that much, can they? I could've died, and all they would have done was fire me."

I went to sleep with the disturbing feeling of being completely alone in the world.

I need to stop and explain something again. See, at this point, I had been, well, not ugly, but certainly not much to look at for my whole life. And I knew it. You could say I had a little bit of a bad attitude towards people by the time I graduated high school, and college only made it worse. Kids can be especially cruel to anyone who looks different, especially if she reads all the time and collects books instead of dolls. I've never been good at making friends, and as for my family, well, they decided a long time ago that they weren't interested in me, and I decided around the same time that I didn't care. I spent a long time not caring about other people, which is what makes the main branch of my powers so ironic. We're not there yet, but when we get there, I'll let you know. Now, where was I...?

The next morning, I had a little bit of a chore to do before I could go anywhere. None of my clothes fit me properly any more-after all, I had shrunk over a foot, and lost probably over a hundred pounds. And then, of course, there were the wings. After searching through my closet and dresser, I finally found an old brown skirt that would make a suitable dress, if modified slightly. The top was a wide band of stretchy soft fabric, and the skirt flowed out from it in a drapey sort of way. I tried it on, then realized that my wings were in the way, so I cut a small oval shape out of the back and made it backless. Then I tried again, pulling the top band up to my armpits. It was too long, of course. Taking it back off again, I cut a few inches off the end, then a few more, and a few more, until finally I had a strapless dress down to my ankles. It was at this point that I began to realize that I was going to need some kind of straps to hold it up, unless I wanted to have to hold it up myself all the way to City Hall. I'm no good at sewing-never have been-so I had to hunt for some safety pins. Finally, once it was all pinned in place, I was ready to leave.

People gave me some weird looks at the bus stop. Looking back now, I should have expected that, I guess. At the time, I glared back at them and stood there, tapping my foot, waiting on the bus in my quick fix of a dress, carrying my now too-big purse. I had had to go without shoes entirely, but for the sake of propriety (and because I wasn't used to it being in my face) I had tied my hair back in a low ponytail.

It feels like it took an eternity for me to get to Azuria. It didn't, of course-Steel Canyon to Atlas Park is only a few minutes on the Yellow Line train-but the point is that it feels like it did. Probably because people were staring at me. I guess they'd never seen such an oddly-dressed fairy before-or maybe they've never seen a person with wings ride the bus. It's Paragon City, I wanted to say, get over it. I didn't say anything.

"I sense a soul in search of a mission!" she said grandly, rolling her eyes back in her head with a dramatic flair. "Come to me, child, and I will tell you what the Great Ones have prophesied for your future!"

"Actually, I'm not looking for a mission." I answered. "And I'm not a child! I've been turned into a fairy by a book, and you're supposed to be a magic expert, right? So how do I change back, already?"

She bent down and looked at me closer. "Are you a hero?"

"No!" I said, getting annoyed. "I used to be a librarian, and I'm enchanted or something! I bought a book at a store in Croatoa-I mean, Salamanca-and I read it and now I'm a fairy and the book is gone and I don't know what to do about it!"

"Oh." Azuria blinked at me for a second. Then she pointed one hand at me (drama, again!) and decreed "The Great Ones have spoken! It is your Destiny to become a hero!" She continued on and on in such a way for quite a while. I interrupted her once to ask her if she ever listens to herself talk, but she didn't even notice, just kept right on going. Finally, she had to stop for a breath.

I jumped right in. "So what you're saying is, basically, you have no idea how I got turned into a fairy and there's nothing you can do about it, and since there's nothing you can do about it I ought to become a hero. Is that about it?"

She made a movement as if she was going to start all her gesturing and mystical mumbling again, so I quickly continued. "I can't be a hero! I haven't even got any powers, that I know of! How am I supposed to be a hero with no powers, hm? Well?"

Azuria simply pointed down. Puzzled, I looked. I was hovering slightly off of the floor, and my fists, clenched in aggravation, were glowing green. "Oh." I said, settling back down. "Well, what good are glowing green hands supposed to do me?"

I was quickly carted off by an assistant for "tests", which mostly involved me trying to shoot green light out of my hands at targets. They told me it was radiation, but I believe it's magic. Why would a fairy be radioactive? I mean, I'd be dead, right? Doesn't make any sense. Anyhow, then once they decided I had "Radiation Blasts", they marked it down on a form and tried to see if I had any other powers. During this part of the testing I started to get bored, not to mention hungry-I hadn't had any breakfast yet, you see. One of the assistants noticed my distraction and brought me a cup of coffee, but she tripped on the way to my chair. Even though she recovered herself, the coffee sloshed over her hand and scalded her. Without thinking, I reached out my hand and bathed hers in green light-and the burn healed! "That settles it," said the guy in charge of the tests. "You're an Empathy and Radiation Blast Defender."

"Magic blast." I muttered under my breath as I was shepherded back to Azuria.

"A Magic-class Defender! Wonderful! The Great Ones tell me that your future is very bright, um...er...what did you say your name was again?"

"Jodie Wilkins," I supplied. Azuria looked slightly horrified. "What?"

"You'll need a hero name to register, dear. You can't use your civilian name!"

Annoyed, I thought for a second, then sulkily said, "Snap Play. Call me Snap Play."

She began to write, then looked down at me. "Snap...Play?" she questioned.

"This whole deal makes me feel like I've snapped and your precious 'Great Ones' are playing with my so-called 'Destiny'!" I snapped at her. "If you need a reason, that's why, okay?"

She scribbled some more, then looked at me again. "You're not going to wear that as a hero, are you?"

"I don't have anything else that fits!" I yelled. "In fact, since you've been no help whatsoever, except to turn me into a hero when I did not want to be, and since you can't change me back, how about a makeover or something? I mean, come on already! I have literally nothing to wear!"

"But we can't-"

"Oh yes you can! You can and you will, because otherwise I am going to send the City Scoop an article about you telling them all about your incompetence! At least three gang members have managed to sneak in here while you've been talking to me! Thank heavens your assistants are competent, they caught them, but you? You're worthless! All you can do is talk about Destinies and Great Ones and sound all mystical and dramatic! You're not even useful!" Panting, I stopped for a moment to catch my breath.

Before I knew it, I had been handed what the heroes call "costume tokens" and issued my hero ID card and shuffled out the door.

Apparently they don't like it when people make a disturbance in City Hall.

I'm going to skip the train trip to Icon. It was an awful lot like the train trip to City Hall. The walk from the train station to Icon...well...Paragon City could use some public busses in areas other than Atlas Park. I know other cities have them, why don't we? I did get to start practicing with my wings some more on the walk, but all I could manage were short, slow hops down the street, and eventually that got tiring. Besides, my bare feet were killing me.

I saw a few people I recognized from working at the library, but I don't think they would have believed me if I'd told them who I was. I didn't even wave-just walked on by. I wasn't Jodie any more, after all-now I was Snap Play, fledgling superhero fairy.

When I finally reached Icon, I was tired, hot, and generally out of sorts. I still hadn't eaten anything, so I was starting to get a headache. Apparently when my size changed, so did my metabolism.

I went straight in and asked to speak to Serge, the owner or manager or whatever. He had a lot of ideas for costumes once I told him my story, but they were all skimpy and revealing. Finally, we settled on a black sleeveless top with black tights under a bright green tunic. The tunic had a sheer design on the front that showed the black through it. On my feet I had green stiletto boots with a sheer design matching the tunic, and I also wore a silver belt with a round black stone around my waist. My wings picked up the green in the tunic right away, and the whole outfit was quite impressive. It looked heroic and modest, covering me from neck to toes.

Serge, of course, was not impressed with my choices. He kept asking if I was sure I wanted tights, or sleeves, or the black sleeveless top under the tunic. Finally, before I could lose my temper, I handed him one of the tokens and left.

It was time for a break while I figured out exactly what I was supposed to be doing, I decided, so I headed over to The Dirty Duck Bar & Grill, right down the street from Icon. I crossed the street several times over the short walk, trying to avoid the gangs of Outcasts in the area. Looking back now, I could almost laugh about it, but at the time, without having any control over my powers, it wasn't funny.

Once I'd eaten-and I ate a lot; like I said, my metabolism shot up sometime during my transformation-I sat at the table for a while trying to decide what to do. How did one start becoming a hero? With a sigh, I resolved to return to Azuria and find out. She would know, since she'd gotten the whole hero thing started for me.

Azuria was not at her office-"Out," I was told (rather rudely) when I asked one of her assistants. Somehow she had known I'd be back though, and she had left me a note.

It only said two things...the name of my first contact (which I can't even remember now) and "Return to the beginning to be found." At the time, I had no idea what that meant-where was the beginning supposed to be? And who-or what-was supposed to find me? I could only hope it was something good.

Of course, now I know different. That may be the only true prophecy Azuria ever made, and if it was, she won't talk about it-not that I go to talk to her all that much anyhow; only when a contact tells me that I have to because another item of arcane power got stolen from MAGI.

I spent months honing my powers, first on Hellions in Atlas park, then on Trolls and Outcasts in the Hollows, and so on up the food chain until a contact sent me to Croatoa.

I'm going to stop and explain something here, okay? And I know, I stop and explain things a lot. It's what comes of being a fairy, I think-I have a short attention span. Anyhow, I really like Croatoa. I spend a lot of my time there just flying around. Somehow, that particular zone of the city feels right to me, probably because it's saturated with magic and it's where I got the stupid book that started this whole mess.

So there I was in Croatoa, fighting Fir Bolg in the woods around Salamanca. I may have bitten off a little more than I could chew and gotten the attention of a few too many, and I may have been firing shots wildly and missing a lot of the time. I was a little bit scared, maybe, and feeling slightly overwhelmed. It didn't really help any when I heard a wild howl from behind me and something very large and black flew past me and bowled over some of my attackers. I barely had a chance to react before they were all laid out, but I did my best-not that they could have withstood the claws of the black whirlwind in the middle of them for very long.

After a few seconds, I took flight and backed up a little, a safer vantage point. I realized that the person who had helped me-I initially thought it was an animal of some kind-was actually another hero. Stretching out my hands, I granted him increased defenses against any attacks by the Fir Bolg, as well as increased health. Most heroes call this "buffing"; I've never been quite sure why.

When the dust (and Fir Bolg) had cleared, standing in the middle of the defeated monsters was easily the very tallest person I have ever met. He was dressed all in black, wearing sunglasses, of all things, and had his long hair tied back in a ponytail. Suddenly I wasn't quite as positive that this was another hero. I'd never hung out with many of them, but generally, at least in my experience, they looked just a little bit less ferocious.

I'll confess it now, I honestly thought he was going to eat me. Granted, at this point, I know better, but back then, he was just standing there, looking at me, and I was pretty sure claws weren't the only thing that had ripped into those Fir Bolg monsters. I was almost convinced I had seen fangs flash more than a few times.

Well, I was partly right, as it turns out. The fangs glinted in the perpetually dim light of Croatoa as the man stepped forward and opened his mouth to speak. What really surprised me, having seen him barrel into a group of enemies and take them down without much of a problem, was what he said.

"Well met," he said politely. "Are you hurt, Miss...?"

"Uh, Snap," I supplied quickly. "Snap Play. No, I'm fine. Thank you. Um..." I was a little bit bewildered. I had just been rescued by a giant, scary-looking guy who spoke like an old-fashioned gentleman. Obviously I must have hit my head or something.

"Good," he said. "I saw lights over here, and it looked like you were in trouble, so I came to help." He grinned and I swallowed nervously. There was that look of the feral again. "Hope you didn't mind."

"Uh...no...not at all."

"Groovy," he replied, beginning to walk away.

'Groovy'?, I thought to myself. What kind of person is this guy, anyhow? Despite myself, I was curious. Not on purpose, I can assure you. If I'd had any idea what was going to happen, I probably would have stopped right there. "Uh, wait. What's your name?"

"I'm Blackrazur," he said, turning. "Nice to meet you, Miss Snap."

We kept running into each other hunting that day, and the next, and the next, until finally we agreed that it would probably be better if we just teamed up. After all, it seemed as though we were working on the same projects. We quickly picked up a few more willing teammates, such as Ebonfrost and Xiel, and we all ended up joining a supergroup called the Teamsters, for people who like to team.

I would not have described myself as liking people. I still don't. A lot of the time, I still prefer not to team up with other heroes. I don't work well with others-except for 'Razur, who I need to stay close to because if I don't he'll kill himself repeatedly. Apparently, according to Azuria's "Great Ones", it's supposed to be part of my destiny to protect him or something. Possibly to protecto other people from him. In any case, we stick together.

This is because he has a deathwish. That's right, I said it. He says he needs to "renew his dark powers" by periodically returning to the Underworld, but I don't buy it. I think he gets bored and likes the adrenaline rush of getting that close, knowing I'm right behind him ready to pull him back from the edge if I have to. I don't mind if it's just us, but it can be bothersome in a larger group, especially if I'm trying to help a newer hero keep up. In any case, he frequently rushes into mobs without thinking, and I call it a deathwish. What would you call it?

I'm still not really sure how I got stuck with 'Razur, but I'll say this for it-at least it's not as lonely, and I know I can trust him to cover me in a fight, even if I can't trust his cooking (or his costume preferences).

That's pretty much the end of the story. Like I said, it's not really a fairy tale-not at all, really. I mean, okay, so there is magic in it. A lot of magic. And 'Razur has the blood of an English lord in him (or so he says) so I guess that kind of counts too. And we do go on missions from out contacts together, which are sort of like quests, and there is sort of a happy ending. I mean, I have friends now, you know, and I have a new job-base editor for the Teamsters. Oh, and I'm a superhero. I guess there was a prophecy too-and it came true, because 'Razur found me in the place where my adventures began, Croatoa.

And okay, I'll admit it, I was in distress a few times, and I am a damsel, even if I am also a fairy. So that counts too.

But there were no knights in shining armor, though. No princes either, or princesses. No fantastical creatures or castles, with or without moats, and no wizards.

Therefore, just in case you forgot already, let me remind you: regardless of what the title says, this is not a fairy tale!

When I wrote my biography for City Hall-you know, the one they keep on file so people can find out more about you?-it started out something like this:

"I wasn't always a four foot tall magical fairy princess, you know. Actually, I'm still not a princess, but if you're a five foot tall handsome fairy prince, let me know!"

I was joking, of course. I didn't expect anyone to take me seriously, nor did I really want anyone to. I mean, sure, I'm as interested in romance as much as the next girl, but I was happy the way thing were, with me and 'Razur and the Teamsters.

One day, as 'Razur and I were leaving the base in Atlas Park, everything changed.

I was engaged in arguing with him over something stupid, so I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. As I emerged from the portal, I ran smack into a broad chest. As hands came up to my shoulders to steady me, I realized (to my surprise) that the person I had run into was only around a foot taller than me!

The chest and hands belonged to a face, of course. I mean, they usually all go together, unless you're involved with the Vahzilok, but let's not talk about them. Brown hair hung into black eyes, and pointed ears-like mine-arced back on either side of the head. Over one shoulder, I could see the tip of one insectoid wing, rust colored at the top fading into a sort of pine green at the bottom.

Around the time I spotted the wings, the stranger let go of my shoulders and dropped to one knee in front of me.

"Milady!" he said, "Truly, thou'rt the very jewel in this fair city! Couldst thou be the very one I seek?"

"Um," I said, stalling for time, "I...don't know. Who are you looking for? And why?"

I glanced at 'Razur. He looked as confused as I felt. I think at that point we were both wondering the same things-who the heck was this guy and why was he kneeling to me? And why did he talk like a character out of Shakespeare?

"Milady, I have been sent to Paragon City to train myself as a knight. My name is Alaric Stormwarden, and I am the youngest son in the line of Oberon and Titania. Upon arriving here, I met a truly strange human woman, by name of Azuria, who told me that there was one I should seek out to help me in my task. The name of the person I seek is Snap Play. Art thou her?"

This was getting more and more confusing. If Oberon and Titania were real, and were this person's parents, that would make him a prince. A fairy prince, to be exact. And he was looking for me because Azuria sent him.

I began to suspect that Azuria's real talents lay somewhere in the realm of matchmaking-or at least that it was a hobby of hers. Of course, this could just be revenge for my own heroic debut. We did seem to get off on the wrong foot, after all.

Since I was too busy trying to figure things out, 'Razur spoke for me. "Yeah, she's Snap Play. We just call her Snap though. S'what she's good at."

I shot him a Look. It was the kind of Look that withers most people. 'Razur, being used to it, just grinned at me. I sighed inwardly.

"Yes," I confirmed, turning my attention back to Alaric, who was still kneeling. "I'm Snap Play. Stop kneeling like that, you'll break a kneecap or something! It's not like I'm royalty or anything!"

"Truly though doest thyself a misservice, milady," he said, but he did stand up, if only to eye 'Razur warily.

Now, at this point, 'Razur had done nothing but stand there and smirk. This is completely normal for him, and those of us who hang around him on a daily basis are pretty much used to it. The problem was, Alaric turned to look right into 'Razur's face at this point, and 'Razur grinned at the (much) smaller man, which is...not a pleasant sight if you're not used to it.

'Razur grins the same way a tiger does before it eats you, fangs and all.

"Milady, who is this man, and why doth he stand watching like that? Perhaps your highness' bodyguard?"

"No, my, uh, partner."

Now Alaric just looked flustered, which is not surprising. I'm not even totally sure how I ended up with 'Razur, and I don't expect anyone else to comprehend our relationship at first, second, or even third glance.

"We work together, that's all," I clarified quickly, seeing the look of disbelief that fought with an expression of distaste on Alaric's face as he looked at 'Razur. "To fight crime. We're heroes."

Was it just me, or did the other fairy actually look relieved to hear that? "Oh."

"And actually we were just on our way to a mission, so if you'll excuse us, it was nice meeting you, um, Alaric." I began to hover a few inches off the ground, preparatory to launching myself into the air in the direction of the mission. We were supposed to defeat an Arachnos agent by the name of Operative Lo Pan, which made me want Chinese food really bad for some reason. "Well, bye!"

If you were just thinking that it couldn't possibly have been that easy to get rid of him, you'd be right. I've since learned that when Alaric has an idea, he does not let go of it without a fight.

He followed us all day long as we cleared out various Arachnos cells. Every time we entered a building, we left him at the door, hoping he'd leave. Every time we left, there he was. After about the third time we came outside to find he waiting for us, I decided that this was a problem that needed solving immediately. I wasn't about to spend the rest of my days as a hero trying to avoid someone else. The city's not that big.

"Why are you following us?" I asked bluntly. "Don't you have to go, like, train to be a knight or something?"

"Indeed, but I would quickly surrender that for but a chance to fight at milady's side!" he answered.

"But your security clearance has to be level, what? Two? Three? Ours is...what is ours now, 'Razur? I forget."

"Forty two and forty three," my partner answered, leaning on the building we'd just come out of.

"Right. Way too high for you. Go arrest some bad guys or something, the stuff we're working on is way out of your league!"

I swear he looked like I'd kicked him. I'm not sure why, but at this point 'Razur-my own partner!-betrayed me.

"He could be your sidekick," he pointed out calmly.

Alaric agreed enthusiastically. "Aye, that's so! I could be your sidekick, and thereby fight at your side always!"

I glowered at 'Razur. "I don't need a sidekick."

"He could help you with things. Moving furniture, for instance. You could send him scouting and make him pick up laundry and all those other things you hate doing."

"Anything milady commands!" Alaric agreed, looking hopeful.

"But I don't need a sidekick!"

Well, you don't want to hear the rest of that particular argument. Needless to say, I ended up with Alaric as my sidekick, which is how I managed to find myself trudging through the sewers, cursing 'Razur under my breath, and trying (not very hard) to be nice to Alaric. Then I found myself going through the Hollows again, and choosing to listen to the Kings Row police band and take care of things which I would normally leave for lower-level heroes.

I will admit that at some point during all this low-level running around with more than half my powers suppressed, I stopped hating the idea of having a sidekick. I also started getting used to Alaric, although it still irritates me that I can only work with either him or 'Razur and not both at once. 'Razur will usually give up my company in Alaric's favor, which seems to have soothed whatever tension there was between them on their first meeting. If I didn't know better-and I'm not saying I do-I'd say they were perpetually up to something.

In any case, I now have my five foot tall handsome fairy prince, whether I want him or not. He's more "pretty" than "handsome" in the classical sense of the word, and I still don't know if I believe he's a prince (although he does walk the walk, as the saying goes), but that's beside the point. He's awfully persistent, though. I have yet to convince him that I'm not royalty (and have no wish to become royalty either!) and while most girls wish their whole lives that they could fins someone to treat them like a princess, I just wish he'd act, well, normal. Paragon City normal, not regular normal. I mean, sure, it's nice to have someone worship the ground you walk on...for about five minutes. Sonnets and flowery compliments get old fast. Luckily he seems to be picking up some more modern mannerisms lately.

I guess the moral of this story (if it even has a moral) is, be careful what you joke about. It could happen to you. No, really!