Ch. 4 Ignotus Maulm
For two years after this, Daniel and Stephen developed a deep friendship. They started to work together to help with the aftermath of the hurricane. Daniel and his mother now lived with Stephen and his family. They had gained a lot of reputation and fame as heroes of the hurricane so when the rikti launched their second invasion, they, like many other heroes, were asked to come to Paragon City. At first they refused, wanting to stay in their hometown. But after a few months the costs of providing for two families caught up to them and they were forced to move onto the streets. Because of the war, taxes were at an all time high so even with Stephens parents and Daniels mothers jobs they could only afford food, and were forced to sleep different places every night. The government heard of this and offered them a deal: They would sign a contract for their families to be moved to large houses in Paragon and get paid 30 dollars an hour each to form a team to fight in the war, then after the war calmed down they would receive the same wages for doing random vigilante acts throughout the city. Their parents hesitated at first for fear of losing their teenage sons in war but their minds were softened to the idea since they didnt even own a small place of their own. Within a week they accepted and were shipped off to their new home. Daniel and Stephen were now neighbors, living in Atlas Park, Paragon City, Rhode Island. They had two weeks before they had to go into battle. They spent these two weeks getting used to their new home, training for their upcoming battles, and meeting the third member of their team, a girl named Scottie. They didnt like the idea of not getting to pick the members of their team themselves but Scottie fit in well with the two. This was mainly because she was what she was because of the Council just like Daniel. In fact her story was a lot like Daniels except she was from the other monstrous side of the Council, she was a vampire. Even with this though Scottie doesnt often fight. Shes the teams manager. Once the two weeks passed the team got to work in the Rikti War Zone. The first few weeks of battle they were a bit nervous and had to be teleported to the med bay almost three times a day, of course they didnt tell their parents of this because they might have cut the contract, but after they had been fighting for a while and gotten used to the feel of battle they quickly became one of the most effective war groups available. The two of them ranked higher with Vanguard than most teams of over 10 supers. One thing that they had trouble getting used to thought was teaming with super-powered villains. Having those who were once your enemy now as your ally is something thats difficult to comprehend. The strangest thing to them, though, was that nearly every person who they teamed with that was considered a villain referred to Daniel and Stephen as Ignotus Malum. Eventually they even ran across a few heroes that called them the same thing. Eventually the team took it as their official name, since they didnt have a previous name for the team anyway. And thus the formation of their team was finally complete.
Ch 5 An Evil is Born
One day while receiving the mission objective of the day from Borea of the Vanguard, she told Stephen that she had someone special for him to team with today, someone very similar to himself who could probably teach him a lot. She revealed no name or identification but told the team where to meet him; from there he would show them the mission objective for the day. They didnt question Boreas methods and went off right away. They traveled for hours before they reached their destination because it was deep in the war zone and Borea told them to fight their way there because the rikti population was unexpectedly growing. The path there was even more thick with the rikti than they had expected. The path they were given lead straight through 3 of the riktis strongest bases and around the crashed rikti mother ship which was where the rikti were the thickest and the toughest. Finally reached their destination but when they looked around they found nothing but more rikti, no special ally. They held their position and fought rikti for another few hours thinking that maybe their ally had the same problems they had in getting there but he was just taking longer. After all this nonstop fighting both of them were tired and barely had enough energy to stand, much less fight. They tried to call into med bay for a teleport back but their communicators werent working. Just when they were ready to give up hope all the rikti around them were overcome in darkness and burned until there was nothing but dust left of them. A man walked up to Stephen and Daniel who had both collapsed. Once he got close enough they could see that he looked very similar to Stephen, with a skull for a head and a black costume but he was glowing with power and strength. They soon identified him as the infamous villain known as Undead Steve. Thank God you got here when you did, please, we cant fight any longer, get us back to the base Stephen said as he approached. Undead Steve just laughed as he dragged their worn out bodies deeper into the war zone.
Ch.6 Doomsday
Daniel lost consciousness while Stephen struggled to maintain his. As Undead Steve continued dragging them he brought them into a building where it seemed to get darker and darker with each step forward. It was hard for Stephen to tell whether it was actually the place he was being dragged into or just him getting closer to unconsciousness but either way he was soon passed out as well. It seemed like countless days had passed when Stephen finally awoke. He stood up and looked around. There was no one in sight; he was all alone in a room that looked like a tornado hit it. Pieces of sheetrock where torn off and shattered into pieces, pieces of wood broken lie all over the ground, seeming to be the remaining of furniture, and lastly pieces of cloth and fabric ripped to shreds where in this destroyed room that he found himself in. He glanced around the room to find a door, barely in place, hanging on only one hinge. He walked through the door and into a hallway that had the odd sense off familiarity to it. He walked down the hallway and saw along the walls broken and torn pictures, too destroyed to make out an image. He was coming to a big double door as he noticed a picture that was only slightly deteriorated, lying on the ground. He picked it up and looked at it as he walked through the double doors, one had been broken down, and as he focused on the picture he realized it was a picture of his family. This torn up house was the house he lived in before he found his powers, his family moved out because of his powers, and he had never been back to that house since the move. He took a few moments to take it all in. Then he looked up and tears started to form in his eyes as he saw what used to be his living room. The room was destroyed and everything was a mess just like the other room, but he didnt even notice. What he was looking at was something much worse than destroyed furniture. What he was looking at was the horror of seeing each and every one of his family members dead, with horribly freighted looks on their pale faces. But the worse thing of all was that the reason they were dead was because they were stuck to the walls with spines, spines made of darkness, Stephens spines. He looked at all of their dead carcasses that looked like they were frightened off him. He was burning with a mix of emotions, with a hate for himself being the one that burned the most. He started running towards the door heading outside while wiping his tear filled face with the back of his arm. His mind was spinning and his sight was blurry from tears and dizziness. He tripped and busted through the door. Lying on the ground, he looked up and saw his homeland destroyed with flames everywhere and spines stuck in every corner of the city. He looked around until he saw a mob of people starring at him. Th-there he is! Stay away you monster! Stephen tried to walk over to them to ask what happened but when he approached them they ran in fear.
Ch7 Overcoming Armageddon
When Daniel awoke he found himself in the warehouse he used to live in. He looked around for a while wondering how he got here and why Undead Steve would just leave him here. He walked over to the part of the warehouse that he and his mother mainly lived in. When he walked in, he saw his mother sitting in a chair with an empty stare. He ran over to her asking what had happened since he got captured. His mother moved her head just enough to turn her blank stare towards Daniel as he ran towards her. As he grew closer to her, people started to come out of the back of the room and surround her. Daniel stopped running toward them once he got about five feet away. What are you all doing here? What is going-He was cut off by the groups shouting and yelling. One of them shouted Theres that freak! Get him, get him now! as they started to run toward him. He ran from the crowd and shouted back to his lifeless mother Mom! What have they done to you? Im sorry, Im so sorry, this is all my fault. He reached the door and as he opened it he found that the place was surrounded with barricades and barbed wire. He looked behind him at the door he just walked out of and saw warning posters, wanted signs, and Keep Out signs posted everywhere. He then heard someone yell Fire! behind him. He turned around and saw a huge group of people all with guns pointed at him. No, No this isnt right. Daniel said to himself as the group started shooting at him. He ran through their line and ripped through the barricade. Both mobs of people, from both inside and outside, continued to chase him for hours. They ran after him without falter or any signs of fatigue. As Daniel ran he came to a part of the city that was covered in destruction. He continued running not paying much attention to the condition of the area as he saw a familiar figure in the distance. He ran up to Stephen who was lying on the ground with a glum look like he hadnt slept in days. When Daniel reached him they looked at each other without saying a word, observing the others horrible condition. Before either of them could say anything to one another their attention was drawn away by gunfire and the sound of moaning. Daniel looked in the direction he had come from and saw that the groups chasing him had caught up with his mother standing lifelessly behind them. Stephen stood up and looked back at the house he had awoken in. A single decayed hand started crawling out. It was followed by the body of one of his family members, which was also followed by the bodies of the rest of his family. Somehow their torn and deceased bodies where moving, moving toward Stephen. As they drew closer they let out several painful moans. It would be impossible for anyone to know what they meant but to Stephens ears they were blaming him for their condition. As they were being surrounded from all sides Daniel and Stephen looked at each other again then took on serious looks. They turned to the ones they once loved and lived to protect and readied themselves for battle. They then attacked. Every attack they threw felt like part of their soul being ripped apart. They continued to battle through their own pain and suffering until every one of their enemies had been struck down. Both heroes turned to look at each other again but at that moment everything went black, again.
Ch 8 Maybe More Then Evil
They both woke back up, chained to the wall, unsurprisingly staring Undead Steve in the face. In the room also was hero known as Mysterious Illusion. Agh! I cant believe they escaped. The hero said as he started to stand up and grabbed his head in pain. Hahaha, I told you, Ive plotted out this ones life for the last 16 years. Undead Steve said as he looked toward Stephen. W-what did you say? Stephen asked. Hahaha Oh I know, youve gone your whole life thinking youre the boy with the mysterious powers that came out of nowhere said Undead Steve. Heh, you dont get powers like those out of nowhere thats for sure Mysterious Illusion said as he walked towards Daniel and Stephen. Undead Steve started to talk again but neither Stephen nor Dan were paying any attention. They were too amazed at the fact that Mysterious Illusion was unshackling their chains to listen at all. Steve continued to speak but as soon as their chains were off they both charged at him. Steve stopped talking and turned his head slowly towards them. He grabbed Dans arm and swung him into Stephen, throwing both of them into the wall beside them. An aura of darkness shot of Steve in anger and he screamed We can fight each other now and I can just get Illusion here to send you on another trip, or we can fight to save the world you once lived to protect! Both of them stood up and calmed down. Steve started again We work through an organization known as The Darkness Realm. I am in charge of all Realm members in this area and recruiting members for my own division of our army. Mysterious Illusion is my creation-He was cut off by Stephen saying with a grim look Like you created me? Steve took on a grin and chuckled as he saidYes, maybe not in the same way, but yes. But as I was saying I created him to monitor Realm members that are considered heroes, since many call me villain it is hard for me to do so personally. Even with a rank as high as my own I do not completely comprehend most aspects of the Realm myself. What I can tell you is that we come from the place called the Netherworld. .the Darkness Realm departed from this place because they were the one group that was not made from chaos and knowing that there was no hope for that world, came to this one. Those very hierarchs have contacted me directly, which is a very rare and honorable thing, to assign me a great task. That task is what I have brought you here for. Stephen and Daniel took a moment to try to understand what they had just heard. Daniel then said Darkness Realm? Netherworld? Hierarchs? I think youve raised more questions then youve answered. And what is this task that youve put us through all this just to test us for? Steve looked at him and said You must help us face a foreign enemy.
Ch9 Foreign Enemy
The group exited the dark building they were in and started darting forward as Stephen and Daniel followed closely behind. As he ran Daniel looked up at the clouds and the sun shining down on him. He felt the warm air brushing through his fur. He thought to himself about how good it felt to be back outside in the fresh, open air. He then looked back down to see the rest of the team jumping into a cave. He sighed and followed then in. They traveled deep into the cave until they came to the familiar opening of the underground rikti base. They could see a large number of rikti soldiers guarding the base in the distance so Daniel and Stephen prepared for battle. Undead Steve mumbled to Mysterious Illusion Ugh, we dont have time for this. Mysterious Illusion nodded and waved his hands over them. Their bodies turned invisible starting from their heads seeking down to their feet. Well thats one way of doing it Stephen said as they started making their way through the riktis numbers unseen. They continued to delve deeper and deeper into the riktis territory, having to fight every now and then because someone would bump into one of the rikti soldiers. Finally, after about an hour of making their way through the riktis base they reached the room directly under the riktis crashed mother ship, the portal room. But they couldnt see the portal. Their vision was being blocked by a massive piece of machinery that was took up so much space only about six people could fit in the room with it. It was shaped like a beetle with six legs, three on each side, and colored dark grey with different parts across it having an eerie light blue glow. It seemed inactive so Stephen extracted his dark spines and started forwards toward the opening in its back. Once he reached it though, a panel expanded upwards closing the opening in front of him. His first reaction was to see if he could just break the panel down but before he could try the machine started moving upwards. The sudden force pushed Stephen down on his back and as he looked up he could see the machine hitting the bottom of the rikti mother ship. At first it seemed as if it paused there but that deception was put to rest when the mother ship started to budge upward. Once it had budged enough, some devices came out of the top of the beetle and attached to the bottom of the mother ship. Once they were all locked in, the beetle, with the mother ship attached rose up from out of the ground into the war zone. The mother ship then configured itself to reveal an ominous weapons system. It fired briefly at a section of buildings in the war zone and, within seconds, turned everything in range of the weapons to dust. Undead Steve yelled Dang, were late. As they started climbing out of the cave he continued, Ok, well we have to work with what we have; heres the plan: Mysterious Illusion will distract it from the outside, while we three will attack and enter it from the doorway that you tried to walk in. How will one man distract that thing? Daniel asked. Illusion gazed toward him then turned back toward the beetle and, with a smirk, started to thrust his hands. As he did men who looked exactly like him appeared one after another. He stopped only after he had created a small army of them. Stephen walked up to them and tried to touch one of their faces. As his hand reached its head his fingers went straight through it. Well, thats one way Stephen said. Undead Steve repliedOk thats enough of this, lets hurry and with that they charged off at the beetle, with the army of illusions charging in towards its front, drawing its attention, and the three others heading in toward the back. Once their entrance was in sight Stephen pointed his arm at it and grew a single spine that reached all the way to it and pierced it pinpoint through the middle. Daniel then ran up the giant spike and drove his claws into the doorway then with them drew a circle just big enough for them to enter. The three jumped in and killed a small group of the rikti guards in that area. After they were finished with them Undead Steve explained the plan to the two heroes. The plan was this: There were two main rooms that contributed to the beetle, one was the control room which had, of course, was in control of the beetles actions and had the most complicated tech in it, and the second was the engine room, which if destroyed would shut down the beetle, but only temporarily and could be repaired quickly and easily then, if both room were destroyed it would rupture the beetles systems, completely destroying all parts of it beyond repair. So the team would split up, Undead Steve would get to the engine quickly and destroy it, then stay to fight the hundreds of rikti that would come to try and repair it, while Daniel and Stephen attacked the control room, destroying it and killing the rikti general in charge of the beetle, known as RhoTzohd. So they set off to do just that. The team fought together for a while until they came to a three way hall and split up to go to their appointed missions.
Ch 10 Declining an Invitation
Together Daniel and Stephen ripped through the riktis most elite numbers like they were nothing. They were fighting the last group of rikti guarding the control room when, suddenly, they and the rikti they were fighting were thrust into the ceiling for a few seconds then fell back onto the floor. Undead Steve had done his part; it was now up to them. They finished off the rikti who were still dazed from the beetle falling and nodded toward each other signifying that they were ready for the fight of their life. They entered the room and looked up to a throne like chair in the center of the room surrounded by rikti leaders. As they came closer the chair spun around to show RhoTzohd sitting in it. He stood and said in the barely understandable rikti tongue, Your teamwork/strength: Best Ive ever seen. Too bad: Dies on this day! The heroes then charged in. Stephen distracted RhoTzohd and most of the others by attacking different ones ever second and mainly only attacking in ways to stop enemy attacks while Daniel aimed on one at a time pouring everything he had into them. Daniel took out three of them when Stephen started to feel the heat of fighting a rikti general and his guards alone. Daniel could notice right away so he stabbed the rikti he was currently battling in the gut then sped over toward RhoTzohd at extremely high speed. Once he was within a yards range of RhoTzohd he jumped into the air and came straight down with his claws onto the rikti general leaving three deep scars. The general backed away and yelled to his remaining guards, Guards! Draw: Melee weapons. The rikti then all equipped themselves with their alien sword and charged at the heroes. Daniel and Stephen knew exactly what to do. They stood back to back and let the rikti come to them. Both had about 4 rikti on the side of the room they were facing. One stepped forward and took a swing at Stephen. Stephen extracted a single spine out of the back of both hands, with one, he blocked the sword and twisted his arm around, throwing the sword away then stabbed the other arms spine straight through the riktis head. Next, one charged at Daniel. The rikti lifted up his sword and swung it downwards. Daniel blocked it with both of his sets of claws but before he could strike the rikti, it swung at him again. Daniel continued to block his swing until one swing nicked the sword on Daniels claws. The rikti looked down at it in fright and Daniel swung his claws directly at the sword, chopping it into pieces, and then continued to kill the rikti. The battle went on like this only for a few moments until only one guard remained. Stephen shot off a set of spines at him while Daniel charged in. The guard blocked the spines with his sword, blocking his vision in front of him. When he lowered his sword, Daniel was already in the air, descending down upon him. Now all that stood before them was the rikti general, RhoTzohd. He drew an advanced rikti gun from the side of the ship and saidIf ship goes down: You at least go with it. He fired the gun at the heroes and they both leaped to the side but when they looked at the spot they were previously standing, the few floors of thick rikti metal were completely decimated. He fired a few more shots at them with the same effect until Stephen shouted to Daniel I think I have a plan. And Daniel responded And I think I know it. Daniel then started running at the general dodging several shots until he got close enough to swing at him, but when he did, the general just grabbed him and threw him against the far wall. Then while laughing, shot a hole, straight through Daniels chest. Daniels body fell to the ground as RhoTzohd continued to laugh. He started to say that no human could ever beat rikti technology but before he could finish he was interrupted by Stephen shouting behind him. Before he could turn around Stephen unleashed hundreds of spines into his back. The general fell to his knees, and then was face-planted dead on the floor. Stephen walked towards Daniels body and on the way, shot spines in every direction to ensure the destruction of the room. As he drew near his friends body he could see that the hole RhoTzohd shot in his body had healed, and Daniel was only unconscious. Stephen picked him up and propped him over his shoulder and escaped as the beetle was blown to pieces and the mother ship fell back into its previous spot. They spent the next few hours getting medical treatment, relaxing, and calling friends and relatives to explain their absence for the last few days. They were telling Scottie, their other team member, about what had happened when Undead Steve and his created hero, Mysterious Illusion approached them. You did great work out there you two. You will make one of the strongest tag teams in all of the Darkness Realm. Undead Steve said to them. Stephen replied saying Were glad we could help with this, but we are real heroes, and would never join your shady alliance. Hearing this, the two walked away without saying a word but even Daniel and Stephen know that they are always being watched and that the Darkness Realm wont rest until they have another group under their control.
The End
http://stevo.lenzus.com/content/9125...s_85147131.jpg
*Edited for diplomacy reasons*
I have some advice for you that would make your story more accessible. I can't tell from your posting what your original composition was like, but when it arrived in the forum it became what we readers refer to as "a wall of text". Especially the chapters in the second post.
Without any kind of breaks between paragraphs, it becomes really difficult for the reader to follow the story. There's no way to tell where logical breaks occur or where timing changes. There's no place to "take a breath", so to speak, or to rest your eyes and gather your thoughts.
I, personally, gave up trying to read it after the first couple of chapters. That's not a reflection on the quality of the story; it's a reflection on the presentation of the story.
If you could edit your story and break it up into real paragraphs and even consider indenting them, it would make it much easier to read and enjoy it. 
sorry bout that, was a quick copy and paste then i went to bed, IT SHALL BE FIXED!!!!!
Edit: done hope it helps, and thx for pointing it out, hadn't looked at it since posted - copied from Word 2007 
PS i apologize for any eye injuries you may have recieved while trying to read the other version
Warning! VERY LONG, but for those who do take the time to read it, i hope you enjoy and i look forward to seeing your feedback!
Ignotus Malum
Ch.1 A Freak is born
Why is it that people who are special are considered different? Why is it that a person who is different considered strange; especially when we are all different from one another? Why is it that people who are very different come along randomly? That is a question that no one here on earth has a complete answer to but they all know to what it is referring it is those who have extraordinary abilities beyond that what ordinary people have. Most of these people live among us in secret today but some openly use their powers in public whether for the benefit of others or for their own. No matter how they use them though, they are all the same, they all have a story of how they obtained these powers: they inherited it from their familys bloodline, they fell into something radio-active, they used to be a scientist who mixed chemicals, theyre from the future or the past, they may have even eaten a hotdog that had a funky taste but then, BOOM, Mr. HotdogMan has super strength. But there is one particular boy who was born with his powers, but didnt inherit them from his parents, not from his grandparent, not from their grandparents, no one. As soon as he discovered his powers they traced every family member 15 generations back, anything beyond that would have faded with no one having powers in between. It wasnt hard for him to discover his powers though, seeing as how when he first used them he fell on the ground screaming in pain while skin was burned off. He got up eventually and saw that he was left with nothing but skeleton but yet he was more alive than ever. He had the power of darkness. Soon his missing parts where filled in with pure darkness except for his head which was now a skull. As soon as he thought he had a break, spines started emitting from his new body at high speeds each one giving him great pain, as if growing from his body then being ripped out. It stopped, but only after he had passed out and the room was completely destroyed. When his parents found him, he had returned to his normal body and showed no signs of his transformation aside from his newly remodeled room. Since then he has stayed in secret about his powers. His name was Stephen.
Ch. 2 Another
Yes, Stephen lived in secret, only a few people knew of his powers, but for some of his kind public knowledge of their powers isnt something they can choose to avoid. Such was the case with the boy named Daniel. You see Daniel never had a father and his mother lived on the streets. His mother was abducted by the Council and used for one of their wicked experiments. The experiment was to build a new, stronger, and much more intelligent werewolf by building it from birth instead of using transformation. So they injected this newly formed werewolf DNA into the womb of Daniels mother. She was pregnant for 6 months until a group of heroes attacked the base she was in and freed her. She and the other people who were being held prisoner there were sent to the nearest hospital. Because she was pregnant, Daniels mother was allowed stay in the hospital until she had her baby but not much longer after that. Yes of course everyone was surprised when she had a baby covered head to toe in fur and with razor sharp claws and fangs but within a few days of her explaining, she overheard the doctors talking about experimenting and testing on her new born child. So she grabbed her child and ran. She named him Daniel and had to hide him completely from all others while struggling to survive on the streets. Once Daniel had grown his mother told him the story of how he was born. He got angry, and had one thing in mind, revenge. Revenge for his mother, revenge for their poverty, even revenge for his own birth. He hunted down and slaughtered every member of the Council he possibly could, he viscously ripped them apart, limb by limb except for one. Right before he plunged his claws into one of their heads, the member screamed and said Please, please spare my life, I can help you! Help you track down the man who captured your mother in the first place! So he used this Council member to track his mothers old captor to a warehouse that he was using to hide himself and his team. Daniel arrived and killed every person in the warehouse until the captor was the only one left. Daniel approached him slowly and the man fired a whole round off at him. The last thing he saw were his bullets falling out of a dark hairy figure, as the bullet holes quickly healed.
Ch3 A Friendship is Made
Daniel and his mother moved into the warehouse soon after, it was located in New Orleans, Louisiana, the year was 2004. At this time Stephen had grown quite a lot, still in secret about his powers, living peacefully with his family in Pearl River, LA. One year later Hurricane Katrina hit. Stephen and his family evacuated and went to a relatives house in Alabama. While there they watched the news coverage and saw all the destruction, death, and chaos that was happening. Stephen watched and was shaken. After 5 days of watching all of this happen, Stephen had to help so he went back to Louisiana. For the first time he used his powers in public and with them saved many lives. He rescued people, stopped vandals who were taking advantage of the moment, and helped local churches distribute clothes and food. During one of his rescue operations he was searching in an old building that took on about 4 feet of water. This warehouse was odd though. Most buildings like it were filled with people, and dead bodies, because of the high decks they had, but this one was completely empty, without a sound to be heard. The rest of the rescue party went on since it seemed to be empty but Stephen stayed behind to make sure. He searched the warehouse for nearly an hour before he heard what sounded like a cry in the distance. He followed the sound back into a room he had already checked and continued to follow it up some stairs. He saw a woman sitting in the distance so he ran over to her. Before he could reach her his body suddenly stopped. He felt something cold on his back. He turned his head to see a hairy beast pulling its claw out of his back. The beast looked down at his claw to see the lack of blood on it. He looked back up and Stephen shot spines into the beast. The beast yelled in pain but then pulled the spines out. The holes the spines created started to heal before they were completely pulled out. Within seconds the holes had completely healed. The two started to battle. They battled for hours until they were both too tired to fight. Stephen started to pull put more spines to finish the fight when the beast said Mother, run! Quickly! Stephen retracted his spines and shifted back to his normal state. When the beast saw this he asked What are you? Stephen replied: I was just about to ask you the same thing.