Cedric Grey bounded across the building tops of Founders Falls. The bag on his shoulder wasnt getting any lighter, but that wasnt about to stop him. He had to return the magical artifact, and he couldnt let his pursuit catch up.
How does Chris Kringle, the king of the symbols of this holiday season, lose his bag to a bunch of angry
He looked back and saw the Redcaps were still on his trail.
Little buggers dont give up
Did you expect them to? he heard inside his head, though his axe at his hip glowed to reveal that his Praetorians soul was the one doing the talking, They intend to cause widespread mayhem, and theyre not about to just let you return that red sack.
Hang on, Cedric reached inside and retrieved a gift, I know Im burning my own coal here, but here goes
He opened the box and revealed a strange holiday red-and-green colored shotgun. He and the nearest Redcap stared at the toy-like weapon (indeed, it felt like plastic) in consternation for a few moments.
How is this supposed to help me? the tanker asked as the Redcap resumed its assault.
Just fire, his Praetorian replied, If it doesnt work, use me.
The blonde young man shrugged, aimed in on the Rascal and pulled the trigger. An explosion of holiday-colored fireworks erupted from the weapon and the little critter was launched into the horizon, exploding like a comet.
Cool! the tanker shouted as he turned to the other evil little gnomes, Who wants to go on the next ride?
Get him!" one shrilled, "It cant possibly hold enough ammunition for us all!
One way to find out! the hero cheered and pulled the trigger again, blasting three of the little buggers away much like the first one, all in one shot, Awesome! Its got a spread!
And if it doesnt have enough ammunition, the axe warned audibly, Then you Redcaps are in for a world of hurt!
Several minutes later, the nearly fifty peculiar fae creatures were cleared off the rooftops in a spectacular fashion. Some watching civilians even clapped. Cedric whooped and leaped down to the ground level. Here, next to the Red River, was an entrance to the Pocket D, and his mission would soon be over.
Unfortunately, one last Redcap stood in his way, the king of the Redcaps (or so he thinks), Snaptooth. The big, brutish, crotchety and wicked (among other colorful adjectives, like smelly and annoying) critter stood between the tanker and the entrance.
Dude, do you have any idea how many mythical rules you broke by bringing the Magic Bag here to Founders Falls?
It was the easiest way to keep Big Red off my back, Snaptooth hissed, He has rules to follow that I can avoid... Last year, I tried to hold the world in a temporal limbo But imagine the damage I can cause if all the worlds children cannot get their gifts?
Dude, Cedric dropped the bag and rubbed his forehead, You are, like, the worst villain in the world That is such a stupid idea!
Stupid, because you dont get the point! Its not Santas toys that is the objective. It is the Holiday Spirit he spreads! That bag is simply full of all the joy of the holiday season, and if it cant be delivered, no child will ever be happy again for the rest of the year!
The hero blinked at this, but the concept still didnt make sense to him.
But Theres still New Year, all that time they get away from school, and holiday spirit isnt just doled out by Santa, its-
SHUT UP! Snaptooth interrupted, but the tanker just continued.
Besides, Im not the first person to stop you tonight
True, but the end of the final hour draws close, the brutish gnome drew one of his wicked daggers, And if I have that bag by the stroke of midnight, I win!
Oh, you gotta be kidding me Cedric cursed as he hefted the shotgun and pulled the trigger.
Unfortunately, the strange magical firework ammunition was depleted. The plastic weapon made a soft click and the tankers near-perpetual smile turned to a grimace of bemused acceptance.
Figures.
Snaptooth closed fast, his blades snaking about as he made intimidating feints while he ran. Cedric casually dropped the sack, pulled the axe from his hip and swatted the Redcap into the Red River with the flat of his blade.
And now to sit back while you turn to stone, he intoned as he started to relax on the ledge.
Thats trolls! Snaptooth shouted angrily, And youre not a billy goat!
Oh yeah
I dont have time for this! the Redcap shouted and leaped over the tanker.
Cedric was confused for a moment. The angle of descent indicated that the enemy of all things good and fun wouldnt be landing anywhere near enough to make a decent attack. Instead he would be
Snaptooth landed next to the red bag, snatched it up and bounded away. Cedric looked at his watch as he took a stance and pulled the axe back to throw.
It was 11:54, PM. He had six minutes until Christmas. It dawned on him that he was working on Christmas Eve, but that wasnt anything new. Looking back up, he hurled his weapon at the legs of the fleeing monster. Snaptooth let out a strangled yelp as his legs were tripped out from underneath him. The sack went flying and Cedric leaped to catch it as his axe embedded itself in a nearby wall.
No! the villain shouted as he scrabbled back to his feet, I will not let you win this day!
You couldnt cut his legs off? the tanker asked his stuck weapon.
I AM bound by the laws of this city, you know, his Praetorians soul replied.
Oh, thats your excuse for everything!
Snaptooth swung his blades at Cedric. The blonde head dodged left, then right, and the young man raised his arms up and back as the knives raked across his armors chest plate. Then, Grey brought the sack swinging around and cracked it across Snaptooths head, knocking the ugly little man out cold.
Oh, ho! Somebodys a glassjaw! Cedric laughed as he opened the sack, Johnny! Lets see what we just hit you with!
He turned the sack upside down as Snaptooth came to just enough to start reaching for one of his fallen knives. A heavy iron anvil fell out of the sacks opening, crushing the monsters hand and waking him wide-eyed. He also screamed a lot. Cedric Grey, however, just stared at the cartoonish result.
Dude! How the heck did I swing that thing around?
Get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-aaaaaaah-ha-ha-off! the fae screamed as the iron seared into his skin, but also pinned him in place.
Only if you promise to be good.
Okay!
Are you sure?
Yes! YES!
You promise? I want your word, Snap, the tanker pointed down at the scraggly-haired face, I want your word.
On my black heart, I swear I wont try anything for the rest of the year!
Thats thrice you promised me, Cedric pushed the heavy iron weight over and it rolled to the ledge, barely stopping instead of smashing through the pier below, Remember that, Snap.
The redcap cradled his injured arm and growled out some obscenities to the hero. However, being a magical creature like he was, he was bound to the promise hed made, regardless of the circumstances. There could have been a fantastic disappearing act, at least a cloud of smoke, but, instead, the ugly little man among ugly little men simply vanished as if hed never been there.
Alright! the tanker cheered, I finally did something right for a change!
Not yet, his Praetorians soul reminded him from the axe, You still gotta get that thing to the night club!
Oh, shoot, youre right! Cedric made a tugging motion with his hand and the axe pulled itself from the wall and flew to his grip.
Thats a first, the other Cedric said cautiously.
I forgot to attach the chain, didnt I?
Yeah, yeah Were running out of time, Ced.
The tanker leaped for the Pocket D entrance. It was a manhole cover in the ground here, though it became a set of doors on the other side. He had only one hope that it was the right one
----
So, anyway, a young heroine in a red-and-green spandex outfit said to her date as they opened the door, Like I was saying, the tradition in my family is to open one special gift the night before its fun, and can be romantic
I dont know, hon, the white-clad hero replied, Im more used to the morning of colored wrapping paper gor-AUGH!
Cedric barreled through the open door and crashed into the hero. He shouted a quick apology as he rolled away and bounded for the entrance.
-----
Fifty-five, Fifty-six, Fifty-seven, DJ Zero counted off as he read from his watch, Santa Clause rubbing his fingers together as he contemplated using his last trick of the season.
Fifty-eight, Zero looked up with a smirk and stopped counting, Cue the magic, Nick. Here comes the last bag of the night.
Cedric ran up as the red-clad holiday symbol twiddled his fingers, causing time in the real world to stop suddenly. The activities in Pocket D, however, continued unabated.
Well done, my boy, Santa chortled happily, Well done.
Heres your Magic Sack, boss, Grey laughed as he handed over the bag, I gotta tell you, it was a lot of fun getting this thing back.
Santa Clause screwed up his face as he looked at the peculiar young man.
Why am I bothered by how you said that? Forget it, youre back on the naughty list.
Thats the fun list! the tanker replied with child-like glee.
The red-clad fat man chuckled as he reached into his bag and handed a small box to the hero. Clapping him on the shoulder, he let loose with the ever classic Ho-ho-hos, Merry Christmases and handed out gifts to the heroes and (oddly) a few rogues.
Why didnt he give one to you? Cedric asked the super-powered disc jockey.
I get everything I want or need right here, Zero said, And getting to watch you heroes knock that dumb redcap around is gift enough. Good job there, winding down to the last second like you did. It was satisfactorily dramatic. Now, if youll excuse me, I need to work my magic.
Grey nodded and started heading for the exit. Briefly, he considered the notion hed heard on the way in. One gift, the night before
Just open it already, the axe moaned, Everybody knows you want to.
Cedric tore the box open and marveled at the object inside.
What is it?
Its a silk axe blade rag!
There was a moment of silence. Cedric the Gray didnt know whether his Prime Earth counterpart was messing with him or not. Finally, the tanker waved the silk rag in front of the weapon.
Cedric Grey bounded across the building tops of Founders Falls. The bag on his shoulder wasnt getting any lighter, but that wasnt about to stop him. He had to return the magical artifact, and he couldnt let his pursuit catch up.
How does Chris Kringle, the king of the symbols of this holiday season, lose his bag to a bunch of angry
He looked back and saw the Redcaps were still on his trail.
Little buggers dont give up
Did you expect them to? he heard inside his head, though his axe at his hip glowed to reveal that his Praetorians soul was the one doing the talking, They intend to cause widespread mayhem, and theyre not about to just let you return that red sack.
Hang on, Cedric reached inside and retrieved a gift, I know Im burning my own coal here, but here goes
He opened the box and revealed a strange holiday red-and-green colored shotgun. He and the nearest Redcap stared at the toy-like weapon (indeed, it felt like plastic) in consternation for a few moments.
How is this supposed to help me? the tanker asked as the Redcap resumed its assault.
Just fire, his Praetorian replied, If it doesnt work, use me.
The blonde young man shrugged, aimed in on the Rascal and pulled the trigger. An explosion of holiday-colored fireworks erupted from the weapon and the little critter was launched into the horizon, exploding like a comet.
Cool! the tanker shouted as he turned to the other evil little gnomes, Who wants to go on the next ride?
Get him!" one shrilled, "It cant possibly hold enough ammunition for us all!
One way to find out! the hero cheered and pulled the trigger again, blasting three of the little buggers away much like the first one, all in one shot, Awesome! Its got a spread!
And if it doesnt have enough ammunition, the axe warned audibly, Then you Redcaps are in for a world of hurt!
Several minutes later, the nearly fifty peculiar fae creatures were cleared off the rooftops in a spectacular fashion. Some watching civilians even clapped. Cedric whooped and leaped down to the ground level. Here, next to the Red River, was an entrance to the Pocket D, and his mission would soon be over.
Unfortunately, one last Redcap stood in his way, the king of the Redcaps (or so he thinks), Snaptooth. The big, brutish, crotchety and wicked (among other colorful adjectives, like smelly and annoying) critter stood between the tanker and the entrance.
Dude, do you have any idea how many mythical rules you broke by bringing the Magic Bag here to Founders Falls?
It was the easiest way to keep Big Red off my back, Snaptooth hissed, He has rules to follow that I can avoid... Last year, I tried to hold the world in a temporal limbo But imagine the damage I can cause if all the worlds children cannot get their gifts?
Dude, Cedric dropped the bag and rubbed his forehead, You are, like, the worst villain in the world That is such a stupid idea!
Stupid, because you dont get the point! Its not Santas toys that is the objective. It is the Holiday Spirit he spreads! That bag is simply full of all the joy of the holiday season, and if it cant be delivered, no child will ever be happy again for the rest of the year!
The hero blinked at this, but the concept still didnt make sense to him.
But Theres still New Year, all that time they get away from school, and holiday spirit isnt just doled out by Santa, its-
SHUT UP! Snaptooth interrupted, but the tanker just continued.
Besides, Im not the first person to stop you tonight
True, but the end of the final hour draws close, the brutish gnome drew one of his wicked daggers, And if I have that bag by the stroke of midnight, I win!
Oh, you gotta be kidding me Cedric cursed as he hefted the shotgun and pulled the trigger.
Unfortunately, the strange magical firework ammunition was depleted. The plastic weapon made a soft click and the tankers near-perpetual smile turned to a grimace of bemused acceptance.
Figures.
Snaptooth closed fast, his blades snaking about as he made intimidating feints while he ran. Cedric casually dropped the sack, pulled the axe from his hip and swatted the Redcap into the Red River with the flat of his blade.
And now to sit back while you turn to stone, he intoned as he started to relax on the ledge.
Thats trolls! Snaptooth shouted angrily, And youre not a billy goat!
Oh yeah
I dont have time for this! the Redcap shouted and leaped over the tanker.
Cedric was confused for a moment. The angle of descent indicated that the enemy of all things good and fun wouldnt be landing anywhere near enough to make a decent attack. Instead he would be
Snaptooth landed next to the red bag, snatched it up and bounded away. Cedric looked at his watch as he took a stance and pulled the axe back to throw.
It was 11:54, PM. He had six minutes until Christmas. It dawned on him that he was working on Christmas Eve, but that wasnt anything new. Looking back up, he hurled his weapon at the legs of the fleeing monster. Snaptooth let out a strangled yelp as his legs were tripped out from underneath him. The sack went flying and Cedric leaped to catch it as his axe embedded itself in a nearby wall.
No! the villain shouted as he scrabbled back to his feet, I will not let you win this day!
You couldnt cut his legs off? the tanker asked his stuck weapon.
I AM bound by the laws of this city, you know, his Praetorians soul replied.
Oh, thats your excuse for everything!
Snaptooth swung his blades at Cedric. The blonde head dodged left, then right, and the young man raised his arms up and back as the knives raked across his armors chest plate. Then, Grey brought the sack swinging around and cracked it across Snaptooths head, knocking the ugly little man out cold.
Oh, ho! Somebodys a glassjaw! Cedric laughed as he opened the sack, Johnny! Lets see what we just hit you with!
He turned the sack upside down as Snaptooth came to just enough to start reaching for one of his fallen knives. A heavy iron anvil fell out of the sacks opening, crushing the monsters hand and waking him wide-eyed. He also screamed a lot. Cedric Grey, however, just stared at the cartoonish result.
Dude! How the heck did I swing that thing around?
Get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-aaaaaaah-ha-ha-off! the fae screamed as the iron seared into his skin, but also pinned him in place.
Only if you promise to be good.
Okay!
Are you sure?
Yes! YES!
You promise? I want your word, Snap, the tanker pointed down at the scraggly-haired face, I want your word.
On my black heart, I swear I wont try anything for the rest of the year!
Thats thrice you promised me, Cedric pushed the heavy iron weight over and it rolled to the ledge, barely stopping instead of smashing through the pier below, Remember that, Snap.
The redcap cradled his injured arm and growled out some obscenities to the hero. However, being a magical creature like he was, he was bound to the promise hed made, regardless of the circumstances. There could have been a fantastic disappearing act, at least a cloud of smoke, but, instead, the ugly little man among ugly little men simply vanished as if hed never been there.
Alright! the tanker cheered, I finally did something right for a change!
Not yet, his Praetorians soul reminded him from the axe, You still gotta get that thing to the night club!
Oh, shoot, youre right! Cedric made a tugging motion with his hand and the axe pulled itself from the wall and flew to his grip.
Thats a first, the other Cedric said cautiously.
I forgot to attach the chain, didnt I?
Yeah, yeah Were running out of time, Ced.
The tanker leaped for the Pocket D entrance. It was a manhole cover in the ground here, though it became a set of doors on the other side. He had only one hope that it was the right one
----
So, anyway, a young heroine in a red-and-green spandex outfit said to her date as they opened the door, Like I was saying, the tradition in my family is to open one special gift the night before its fun, and can be romantic
I dont know, hon, the white-clad hero replied, Im more used to the morning of colored wrapping paper gor-AUGH!
Cedric barreled through the open door and crashed into the hero. He shouted a quick apology as he rolled away and bounded for the entrance.
-----
Fifty-five, Fifty-six, Fifty-seven, DJ Zero counted off as he read from his watch, Santa Clause rubbing his fingers together as he contemplated using his last trick of the season.
Fifty-eight, Zero looked up with a smirk and stopped counting, Cue the magic, Nick. Here comes the last bag of the night.
Cedric ran up as the red-clad holiday symbol twiddled his fingers, causing time in the real world to stop suddenly. The activities in Pocket D, however, continued unabated.
Well done, my boy, Santa chortled happily, Well done.
Heres your Magic Sack, boss, Grey laughed as he handed over the bag, I gotta tell you, it was a lot of fun getting this thing back.
Santa Clause screwed up his face as he looked at the peculiar young man.
Why am I bothered by how you said that? Forget it, youre back on the naughty list.
Thats the fun list! the tanker replied with child-like glee.
The red-clad fat man chuckled as he reached into his bag and handed a small box to the hero. Clapping him on the shoulder, he let loose with the ever classic Ho-ho-hos, Merry Christmases and handed out gifts to the heroes and (oddly) a few rogues.
Why didnt he give one to you? Cedric asked the super-powered disc jockey.
I get everything I want or need right here, Zero said, And getting to watch you heroes knock that dumb redcap around is gift enough. Good job there, winding down to the last second like you did. It was satisfactorily dramatic. Now, if youll excuse me, I need to work my magic.
Grey nodded and started heading for the exit. Briefly, he considered the notion hed heard on the way in. One gift, the night before
Just open it already, the axe moaned, Everybody knows you want to.
Cedric tore the box open and marveled at the object inside.
What is it?
Its a silk axe blade rag!
There was a moment of silence. Cedric the Gray didnt know whether his Prime Earth counterpart was messing with him or not. Finally, the tanker waved the silk rag in front of the weapon.
See?
Ooh It glows!"
My Stories
Look at that. A full-grown woman pulling off pigtails. Her crazy is off the charts.