Vampiric Mouse and Nefarious Gibberish Maiden Make Face Turn, Save City
Paragon City, RI - In what was to be an otherwise eventful day for the war-torn and recovering "City of Heroes", a singular event outshined them all, when notorious doormouse NeverDarke, pictured below, made an unexpected turn to the light and devoted her life to the forces of good.
Under the direction of Sister Psyche, NeverDarke focused her mind and began a day-long crusade of do-gooding and charity work, including handouts to many random heroes who were struggling on the streets to make a difference.
When reached for questioning, NeverDarke could only say a few choice things before bounding off to repair her soiled and tarnished reputation.
"NeverDarke, why the sudden turn to good? Why are your ears differently colored? Why are your breasts prominent and supple now? Why do it at all?"
"OMG like um... It is teh best !!! I love helping my friends and my friend want to help me too! And the booblets? Totally filling out !!! turns out all I needed to be a good guy was a little confidence with the men!"
As we could only assume, members of Malice in Wonderland were reeling at the news that one of their own would defect. Local kook and self-proclaimed Eater of Paint Chips, Bloodywedd, personally arrived to dissuade NeverDarke from her efforts. What resulted was a scene akin to the warming of the Grinch's heart, as Bloodywedd relented to the bosomed mouse's noble deeds, and helped.
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y96...ry/helping.jpg
NeverDarke and Bloodywedd sooth a confrontation between the Outcasts and Tsoo. Several drunks and one lonely pervert in the alleyway thanked them afterwards. Reuters, AP.
When reached for comment, we sent some of our most brave folk to talk to Bloodywedd. Her position on this event was startlingly true to form.
"Hi there! I am the Cheese Pope, and you are my acolytes in the Church of Gouda. You must realize that in order to accept Cheesus Christ into your life, you must accept the idea that toes are the coefficient of damnation. There are few things in life that taste like purple, and let me me ask you one adjective: Insipid? If I ripped out God's eyes, would it still rain? I think so, because God is dead from me talking him to death. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA I AM AN OWL HOOT HOOT HOOT. (At this time Bloodywedd stood on our cameraman's shoulders and began hooting and flapping her arms wildly.) I'm sorry where was I? Oh yeah. Our father, who art in Jarlsberg, hallowed be thy rind. In Brie we trust, thank you and good night."
At that time Bloodywedd began waddling towards Blyde Square. We caught up to her as she and NeverDarke danced around and praised Positron, kissing his irradiated boots for all the work he'd given to this city.
"City of Heroes. April 27, 2004 - August 31, 2012. Obliterated not with a weapon of mass destruction, not by an all-powerful supervillain... but by a cold-hearted and cowardly corporate suck-up."
Vampiric Mouse and Nefarious Gibberish Maiden Make Face Turn, Save City
Paragon City, RI - In what was to be an otherwise eventful day for the war-torn and recovering "City of Heroes", a singular event outshined them all, when notorious doormouse NeverDarke, pictured below, made an unexpected turn to the light and devoted her life to the forces of good.
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y96/Dar...ry/teaching.jpg
Under the direction of Sister Psyche, NeverDarke focused her mind and began a day-long crusade of do-gooding and charity work, including handouts to many random heroes who were struggling on the streets to make a difference.
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y96...kery/punch.jpg
NeverDarke takes a bite out of crime and banishes a Spectral Demon from this world after it attempted to feed a small child to a puppy. Reuters, AP
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y96...ckery/give.jpg
NeverDarke hands out free cash to a hero, smiles and bounds away in a bounce of cheer. Reuters, AP
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y96/Dar.../givingaway.jpg
NeverDarke gives away a free costume token, and wishes all the best to this hero with her transplants. Reuters, AP
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y96...mockery/FF.jpg
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y96...ry/crazyff.jpg
NeverDarke consults Sister Psyche for help and praises her wisdom. Reuters, AP.
When reached for questioning, NeverDarke could only say a few choice things before bounding off to repair her soiled and tarnished reputation.
"NeverDarke, why the sudden turn to good? Why are your ears differently colored? Why are your breasts prominent and supple now? Why do it at all?"
"OMG like um... It is teh best !!! I love helping my friends and my friend want to help me too! And the booblets? Totally filling out !!! turns out all I needed to be a good guy was a little confidence with the men!"
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y96/Dar...y/newslady2.jpg
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y96/Dar...ry/newslady.jpg
NeverDarke marvels at the size of her new breasts, reporter looks on bewildered. Reuters, AP.
As we could only assume, members of Malice in Wonderland were reeling at the news that one of their own would defect. Local kook and self-proclaimed Eater of Paint Chips, Bloodywedd, personally arrived to dissuade NeverDarke from her efforts. What resulted was a scene akin to the warming of the Grinch's heart, as Bloodywedd relented to the bosomed mouse's noble deeds, and helped.
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y96/Dar...y/savingPI2.jpg
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y96/Dar...ry/savingPI.jpg
Bloodywedd and NeverDarke stem an incursion from the Circle of Thorns, saving Portal Corporation. Reuters, AP.
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y96...ry/helping.jpg
NeverDarke and Bloodywedd sooth a confrontation between the Outcasts and Tsoo. Several drunks and one lonely pervert in the alleyway thanked them afterwards. Reuters, AP.
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y96...ckery/beg2.jpg
NeverDarke and Bloodywedd collect change in Peregrine Island for survivors of hair cancer, mental molestation, and Slaphappy deoderant mishaps.
When reached for comment, we sent some of our most brave folk to talk to Bloodywedd. Her position on this event was startlingly true to form.
"Hi there! I am the Cheese Pope, and you are my acolytes in the Church of Gouda. You must realize that in order to accept Cheesus Christ into your life, you must accept the idea that toes are the coefficient of damnation. There are few things in life that taste like purple, and let me me ask you one adjective: Insipid? If I ripped out God's eyes, would it still rain? I think so, because God is dead from me talking him to death. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA I AM AN OWL HOOT HOOT HOOT. (At this time Bloodywedd stood on our cameraman's shoulders and began hooting and flapping her arms wildly.) I'm sorry where was I? Oh yeah. Our father, who art in Jarlsberg, hallowed be thy rind. In Brie we trust, thank you and good night."
At that time Bloodywedd began waddling towards Blyde Square. We caught up to her as she and NeverDarke danced around and praised Positron, kissing his irradiated boots for all the work he'd given to this city.
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y96/Dar...ry/positron.jpg
NeverDarke and Bloodywedd commit themselves to Positron's cause.
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Dearest friends,
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y96/Dar...y/postcard3.jpg
Having a great time, don't forget to write!
Love,
Foxy Ferret and Kid Switchblade
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