Well, writing is a form of art I guess. And I wanna' get some feedback on it so...
The History of a Hero. The History of Back Alley Scrapper.
The straw under Kyon West stirred as he awoke from his sleep. He rubbed his eyes with his dark hands and stretched his skinny arms. His big, green eyes surveyed the scene around him. His two younger brothers, Tyrel and Daryn still slept in their cots on the other side of the room. Kyon quietly got up and crept outside. The morning air was cool on his face and the dew on the green grass wet his bare feet. A tiny bird fluttered past the window, singing its sweet song into the quiet, resting village.
Okay, wake up you two! Kyon ordered his brothers.
Only a groan and more shuffling straw answered Kyon.
I said up! Come on! Get up you lazy elephants!
But why, brother? It is only morning. I want to go back to bed! retorted Tyrel.
We must start our chores or Father will get angry, responded his older brother.
And, with the mention of angering Father, the two boys quickly got out of bed, and met Kyon in the yard. The hot sun beat on the three boys backs as they picked weeds in front of their hut.
Sweat ran down the three boys foreheads as the picked the last of the weeds and sat down in the shade of a nearby Baobab tree. The trees leaves rustled peacefully above, lulling the three boys into a sound sleep.
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I wanted to get feedback on this before I move on, so more is coming.
Well, writing is a form of art I guess. And I wanna' get some feedback on it so...
The History of a Hero. The History of Back Alley Scrapper.
The straw under Kyon West stirred as he awoke from his sleep. He rubbed his eyes with his dark hands and stretched his skinny arms. His big, green eyes surveyed the scene around him. His two younger brothers, Tyrel and Daryn still slept in their cots on the other side of the room. Kyon quietly got up and crept outside. The morning air was cool on his face and the dew on the green grass wet his bare feet. A tiny bird fluttered past the window, singing its sweet song into the quiet, resting village.
Okay, wake up you two! Kyon ordered his brothers.
Only a groan and more shuffling straw answered Kyon.
I said up! Come on! Get up you lazy elephants!
But why, brother? It is only morning. I want to go back to bed! retorted Tyrel.
We must start our chores or Father will get angry, responded his older brother.
And, with the mention of angering Father, the two boys quickly got out of bed, and met Kyon in the yard. The hot sun beat on the three boys backs as they picked weeds in front of their hut.
Sweat ran down the three boys foreheads as the picked the last of the weeds and sat down in the shade of a nearby Baobab tree. The trees leaves rustled peacefully above, lulling the three boys into a sound sleep.
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I wanted to get feedback on this before I move on, so more is coming.
Thank you for the advice, in advance!
-BAS
Scarf_Girl�s Official Kid Brother!