A sort of story written from the perspective of my toon, Misty Joines aka Angry Cheerleader. Not sure what sparked it, except that I'm a hopeless romantic every now and then. Even a villain can have a heart sometimes...
(May contain a couple of higher-level storyarc spoilers. Just so you're warned.)
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You know, I used to roll my eyes at some of the remarks guys in my villaingroup would make about Ghost Widow. Typical pseudo-locker room talk, of course, about how hot she was and what they'd do if she weren't a ghost. (While we all know deep down that they'd wet their pants if she so much as raised an eyebrow at them.) But yeah. Guy talk, whatever. I heard more than enough of it when I was at Steel High.
Actually, I still roll my eyes at it. But that's beside the point.
I don't know what it is about him. He's not really that cute, when all's said and done. He's kind of odd-looking. I mean, if you're just looking at his features and all...just sort of strange.
Then he speaks...and I get butterflies in my stomach.
I've never been that kind of girl. I had boyfriends, yeah. I was head cheerleader, it's like everyone expected me to date the football star. So I did, even though I wasn't ever that enthusiastic, I guess. We went to prom, had 'our song', and all. And I killed him, like I killed the three chicks responsible for killing me first. Wasn't planning on killing him, of course-- but I kinda had to, he was in bed with one of the chicks. Anyway, I'm kinda getting away from the point. I'd dated but it was all just like whatever, you know? Nothing there. Never let anyone get past second base, definitely-- even then, maybe two guys got that far. Just didn't really feel anything. Just kinda bored. Usually I ended up wondering what was on the OC that night or whatever.
But oh my god.
When he spoke to me, I could just feel my heartbeat speed up. His voice, the way he talked...it was like poetry. I never really knew anyone into poetry, definitely didn't date anyone like that. It wasn't really my strong suit in English class, and when we read aloud most people spoke in kind of a bored monotone. Not him, though...and he wasn't reading, he was just speaking normally. When he spoke, I forgot about the odd quirks of his appearance. I just heard his voice, I saw the way his lips curved up just a touch, the glow in his eyes became something warm and familiar.
I knew others talked to him too, and that they did missions for him, but they didn't matter. When he spoke to me, it was just to me. Like I was the only girl in the world, and each thing I did at his request, each person I defeated and each item I retrieved, would bring me closer to him. I started thinking more about how I looked, for him. If my makeup was right (just enough to emphasize but not be obvious), if my costume fit well and flattered, how my hair looked...all that. I mean, I know that it probably doesn't mean a lot to him, but it did to me. I made sure I took my medication for him, too, that makes it easier to keep ahold of myself. I know I pretty much fell over myself to get him those things he wanted, that book and whatever.
You know...he never really smiled, not a normal smile, but I could hear it in his voice when I did well, and I could see a touch of one on his lips. And I know I smiled back. Not my bright cheerleader smile, of course, that I usually wear when I'm smashing some Crey agent's face in these days (yeah, I know, but I'm not really angry, okay?). I couldn't see my own face, of course, but I knew the smile. It felt...it felt almost goofy. Cute, of course, because it's me, but almost weirdly shy. I'd never been shy in my life, except when I talked to him. Shy, even though my heart would race and I'd want to just curl up to him and purr while listening to him speak.
Then I had to talk to that Daos guy.
I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. It helped only a little when I got to hurt Daos like he hurt me...but that came later on.
I wanted to cry when I was sent to defeat him. I didn't want to. I wanted him to make his better world, no matter the cost. I didn't want to stop him, but what if what he was wanting to do didn't work? He'd know I was forced to work against him anyway, so I'd be in trouble with Arachnos and he'd still know I turned on him, even though I didn't want to.
I said I wanted to cry when I had to fight him. Really, though...I did cry. There was no one to see it, everyone else around him had been defeated. I don't know if he saw, but I did. I remember it well. After he disappeared, when I hit him one more time, I stayed there...and just cried. I didn't want to do it, any of it. I'd felt guilty before, when I did that stuff for that Phipps creep, but it wasn't until this point in time that I really, truly, hated being a villain. I'd never felt like this before.
I'd never had my heart broken.
When I'd talked to him afterward, as Daos made me do, I wanted to hide. He was so cold to me. It was bad enough that I was heartbroken, but making me talk to him was like...taking the time to step on each remaining piece just to make sure it was properly crushed. And I still knew that wouldn't be the end of it, that I'd need to talk to him again. Part of me was happy, just for the chance to see him...but part of me was afraid, because I didn't want to face him when he was so cold to me. Cold, and...I dunno. It was like he'd lost hope in everything, because of what I did.
But I talked to him again. He was so detached, even though his voice still gave me those happy little shivers. Anything he'd have asked of me, I'd have done gladly, just for the chance to see him warm up to me again. I'd have taken on Recluse himself, just to see that little almost-smile, or to see him gesture again with those impossibly graceful hands instead of keeping them clasped at his back as he did now. Anything.
Well. I did end up taking on Recluse.
In the future, but still...I did it, because he wanted me to. I didn't want that future anyway-- I may be a villain, but on a certain level I sorta came to realize that maybe, just maybe, heroes are kind of a necessary...er...evil. Necessary good? Anyway. I'd never really been one for deep thoughts like this, but talking to him kind of put my mind on an odd level, made me think about this stuff. Without heroes, without the so-called 'good', where are we? What would we go against to make us who we are? All I saw was that world turned completely dark, without anything to fight except each other-- so in the end, without that other side to unite against in a way, wouldn't we just end up destroying ourselves?
Ohmygod, that was a total tangent.
I went to the future, with some people from my group, and we took on Recluse in the future...and defeated him. Then I had to take his helmet to the current Recluse. I didn't understand that, really-- wouldn't that make the current Recluse want to smack me down? I guess not, because the big guy seemed to have a weird kinda respect for me when I showed him what I did to his future self.
So I returned to my contact, to him. Just hoping he'd feel a little warmer toward me since I did all of that for him. I'm not sure what he felt, but he said something about how I was more his equal now than anything. I didn't want to hear that. I don't want to be his equal.
I want to be his student. I want him to be my teacher. I want him to smile down at me, I want to make him happy by doing more missions and errands for him. I want to feel him touch my hair, to speak in that lovely voice and hear how poetic his words could be, once again. I want him to know how much I cried when I had to defeat him, and that if he asked I'd let him have his revenge on me for it.
I don't want to be his equal. I want him to be my patron again. I want him.
A sort of story written from the perspective of my toon, Misty Joines aka Angry Cheerleader. Not sure what sparked it, except that I'm a hopeless romantic every now and then. Even a villain can have a heart sometimes...
(May contain a couple of higher-level storyarc spoilers. Just so you're warned.)
----------
You know, I used to roll my eyes at some of the remarks guys in my villaingroup would make about Ghost Widow. Typical pseudo-locker room talk, of course, about how hot she was and what they'd do if she weren't a ghost. (While we all know deep down that they'd wet their pants if she so much as raised an eyebrow at them.) But yeah. Guy talk, whatever. I heard more than enough of it when I was at Steel High.
Actually, I still roll my eyes at it. But that's beside the point.
I don't know what it is about him. He's not really that cute, when all's said and done. He's kind of odd-looking. I mean, if you're just looking at his features and all...just sort of strange.
Then he speaks...and I get butterflies in my stomach.
I've never been that kind of girl. I had boyfriends, yeah. I was head cheerleader, it's like everyone expected me to date the football star. So I did, even though I wasn't ever that enthusiastic, I guess. We went to prom, had 'our song', and all. And I killed him, like I killed the three chicks responsible for killing me first. Wasn't planning on killing him, of course-- but I kinda had to, he was in bed with one of the chicks. Anyway, I'm kinda getting away from the point. I'd dated but it was all just like whatever, you know? Nothing there. Never let anyone get past second base, definitely-- even then, maybe two guys got that far. Just didn't really feel anything. Just kinda bored. Usually I ended up wondering what was on the OC that night or whatever.
But oh my god.
When he spoke to me, I could just feel my heartbeat speed up. His voice, the way he talked...it was like poetry. I never really knew anyone into poetry, definitely didn't date anyone like that. It wasn't really my strong suit in English class, and when we read aloud most people spoke in kind of a bored monotone. Not him, though...and he wasn't reading, he was just speaking normally. When he spoke, I forgot about the odd quirks of his appearance. I just heard his voice, I saw the way his lips curved up just a touch, the glow in his eyes became something warm and familiar.
I knew others talked to him too, and that they did missions for him, but they didn't matter. When he spoke to me, it was just to me. Like I was the only girl in the world, and each thing I did at his request, each person I defeated and each item I retrieved, would bring me closer to him. I started thinking more about how I looked, for him. If my makeup was right (just enough to emphasize but not be obvious), if my costume fit well and flattered, how my hair looked...all that. I mean, I know that it probably doesn't mean a lot to him, but it did to me. I made sure I took my medication for him, too, that makes it easier to keep ahold of myself. I know I pretty much fell over myself to get him those things he wanted, that book and whatever.
You know...he never really smiled, not a normal smile, but I could hear it in his voice when I did well, and I could see a touch of one on his lips. And I know I smiled back. Not my bright cheerleader smile, of course, that I usually wear when I'm smashing some Crey agent's face in these days (yeah, I know, but I'm not really angry, okay?). I couldn't see my own face, of course, but I knew the smile. It felt...it felt almost goofy. Cute, of course, because it's me, but almost weirdly shy. I'd never been shy in my life, except when I talked to him. Shy, even though my heart would race and I'd want to just curl up to him and purr while listening to him speak.
Then I had to talk to that Daos guy.
I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. It helped only a little when I got to hurt Daos like he hurt me...but that came later on.
I wanted to cry when I was sent to defeat him. I didn't want to. I wanted him to make his better world, no matter the cost. I didn't want to stop him, but what if what he was wanting to do didn't work? He'd know I was forced to work against him anyway, so I'd be in trouble with Arachnos and he'd still know I turned on him, even though I didn't want to.
I said I wanted to cry when I had to fight him. Really, though...I did cry. There was no one to see it, everyone else around him had been defeated. I don't know if he saw, but I did. I remember it well. After he disappeared, when I hit him one more time, I stayed there...and just cried. I didn't want to do it, any of it. I'd felt guilty before, when I did that stuff for that Phipps creep, but it wasn't until this point in time that I really, truly, hated being a villain. I'd never felt like this before.
I'd never had my heart broken.
When I'd talked to him afterward, as Daos made me do, I wanted to hide. He was so cold to me. It was bad enough that I was heartbroken, but making me talk to him was like...taking the time to step on each remaining piece just to make sure it was properly crushed. And I still knew that wouldn't be the end of it, that I'd need to talk to him again. Part of me was happy, just for the chance to see him...but part of me was afraid, because I didn't want to face him when he was so cold to me. Cold, and...I dunno. It was like he'd lost hope in everything, because of what I did.
But I talked to him again. He was so detached, even though his voice still gave me those happy little shivers. Anything he'd have asked of me, I'd have done gladly, just for the chance to see him warm up to me again. I'd have taken on Recluse himself, just to see that little almost-smile, or to see him gesture again with those impossibly graceful hands instead of keeping them clasped at his back as he did now. Anything.
Well. I did end up taking on Recluse.
In the future, but still...I did it, because he wanted me to. I didn't want that future anyway-- I may be a villain, but on a certain level I sorta came to realize that maybe, just maybe, heroes are kind of a necessary...er...evil. Necessary good? Anyway. I'd never really been one for deep thoughts like this, but talking to him kind of put my mind on an odd level, made me think about this stuff. Without heroes, without the so-called 'good', where are we? What would we go against to make us who we are? All I saw was that world turned completely dark, without anything to fight except each other-- so in the end, without that other side to unite against in a way, wouldn't we just end up destroying ourselves?
Ohmygod, that was a total tangent.
I went to the future, with some people from my group, and we took on Recluse in the future...and defeated him. Then I had to take his helmet to the current Recluse. I didn't understand that, really-- wouldn't that make the current Recluse want to smack me down? I guess not, because the big guy seemed to have a weird kinda respect for me when I showed him what I did to his future self.
So I returned to my contact, to him. Just hoping he'd feel a little warmer toward me since I did all of that for him. I'm not sure what he felt, but he said something about how I was more his equal now than anything. I didn't want to hear that. I don't want to be his equal.
I want to be his student. I want him to be my teacher. I want him to smile down at me, I want to make him happy by doing more missions and errands for him. I want to feel him touch my hair, to speak in that lovely voice and hear how poetic his words could be, once again. I want him to know how much I cried when I had to defeat him, and that if he asked I'd let him have his revenge on me for it.
I don't want to be his equal. I want him to be my patron again. I want him.
I love him.