Joan Reid: Hello, I'm Joan Reid, and you're listening to People of Paragon City. We're continuing our series of interviews with important heroines in an attempt to learn more about these women who mean so much to our daily lives in Paragon City. Today I'm talking to Doctor Inertia, who has made a name for herself by challenging some of the deadliest villains to beset Paragon City, including the likes of Nosferatu, Nemesis and even the Praetorians. She has recently returned to public duty after what seemed to be a long hiatus. Hello, Doctor Inertia, and welcome to the show.
Doctor Inertia: Hello, Joan. It's a pleasure to be here.
Joan Reid: We didn't hear much of you during the past several months. What happened?
Doctor Inertia: I was doing some undercover work for a couple of... friends.
Joan Reid: Some people had thought that you were dead.
Doctor Inertia: What's the Mark Twain line about that?
Joan Reid: "The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."
Doctor Inertia: That's the one.
Joan Reid: We're glad that you're back and safe. Tell us a about how you came to be a hero. I understand there was an accident of some sort.
Doctor Inertia: Okay. Yes, there was. Well, let's step back a bit. I had been working in an advanced physics laboratory with a device that I had created with a colleague.
Joan Reid: So you were a scientist?
Doctor Inertia: That's right. When the Rikti War broke out they entered our building. I hid in my lab, and they didn't seem to notice me. But a hero burst in and attempted to stop them. He did succeed, but there was a large explosion during the course of the battle. I was badly injured, and I was taken to the hospital. I suppose some firemen or rescue workers found me. I was in bad shape, but I made a strong recovery at the hospital.
Joan Reid: I understand you were in the Intensive Care Ward for a period.
Doctor Inertia: Yes. My spine had been severed in a few places and several other bones were broken. There was internal bleeding and a whole laundry list of things wrong.
Joan Reid: But you can walk now.
Doctor Inertia: Walk, run, jump. My spine was actually rebuilt. Well, these tiny little robots that I had devised to help me with my work had somehow managed to enter my body when the machine that housed them was destroyed. It's still not clear to me exactly what happened, but somehow during the accident they were altered far beyond anything I had designed them for. At any rate, they took it upon themselves - and I still don't understand how - they took it upon themselves to repair me.
Joan Reid: So they can think for themselves?
Doctor Inertia: No, no. They're just machines, they can only do what they're instructed to do. They still serve the original purpose they were designed for, but somehow they acquired new instructions concerning how to live in and maintain an organic host.
Joan Reid: What was their original purpose?
Doctor Inertia: I'd rather not say. It's very technical, and disclosing that information would reveal who I used to be to anybody with enough knowledge in the field. It was a rather specialized discipline.
Joan Reid: So you're maintaining a secret identity?
Doctor Inertia: Not in the conventional sense. I can't really be the woman I was any more - it's obvious to anybody who looks at me that I'm Doctor Inertia. My eyes and hair are somewhat distinctive.
Joan Reid: To me you look like an attractive woman in her mid thirties. The only unusual things that I notice are that your hair and eyes are both milk-white. Your eyes seem to have no iris or pupil, or even veins. But it seems that you could dye your hair and wear sunglasses and nobody would know.
Doctor Inertia: I can't actually dye my hair. The tiny machines that live inside me-
Joan Reid: Do you have a name for them?
Doctor Inertia: I... yes, actually. I call them nanobots. The nanobots remove dye. They generally have a pretty aggressive reaction to foreign substances. So my dye only lasts about ten minutes. When I go grocery shopping I wear sunglasses and tie my hair up in a scarf. But I can't go around like that all the time, so I've given up on maintaining my past life.
Joan Reid: That sounds hard.
Doctor Inertia: You get used to anything. I mean... It is hard. It's very hard. I don't want you to think that I turned my life off like a light switch. But you have to understand that people notice eyes. You can't have eyes like this without people noticing and wondering why and making connections to the white-eyed, white-haired woman who runs around in armor and crushes Nemesis machines to the size of a grape. Especially in this town, where everybody is trying to guess every hero's secret identity.
Joan Reid: What about your family?
Doctor Inertia: I still keep in touch with them. They know about me and I still spend time with them, incognito, of course. It's hard for them, and they worry a lot.
Joan Reid: Let's pick up the story from when you woke up in the hospital and the... nanobots, is it?
Doctor Inertia: Yes.
Joan Reid: When the nanobots healed you.
Doctor Inertia: They rebuilt me. Or repaired me. They're machines, and that's how they think of me. They weren't very graceful at the job back then, although by now they're much better at keeping me healthy without doing damage. It's been a long programming process, and I had to study up on biology and medicine so that I could teach them how to keep me alive without killing me, so to speak.
Joan Reid: So what happened when you woke up?
Doctor Inertia: Well, it was frightening, and I wasn't recovered, and the nurse told me I was paralyzed. About that time I learned that I could manipulate objects. It was clumsy at first, and I didn't know what was happening, but the nurses were patient with me, especially considering how swamped the hospitals were then.
Joan Reid: So how can you manipulate objects?
Doctor Inertia: Well, I can alter gravitational relationships. Basically I can control the strength of the gravitational constant in a given gravitational interaction without affecting it in all the other gravitational interactions that affect the principals of the interaction.
Joan Reid: I'm not a scientist, so I don't know what that means.
Doctor Inertia: I guess that was a bit obtuse. Try it this way: if all the gravitation that was operating on you right now were suddenly eliminated, you would be thrown into space by the motion of the earth.
Joan Reid: Can you do that?
Doctor Inertia: [laughs] No, no. I can only manipulate a certain number of gravitational interactions at a time, and I can only alter the strength so far. I can make it stronger or weaker to a certain extent, but I'm limited by either time or magnitude. So I can minimize the earth's pull on something for a fraction of a second, but not much longer - that just throws it up in the air and lets it fall back down. I could also magnify the strength of gravity between you and me, which would fling us together... or I could also anchor you by increasing gravity between you and the wall between you, which would send me flying toward you and leave you where you are.
Joan Reid: I can see how criminals would have reason to fear you. Do you do anything besides manipulate gravity? What does the "Inertia" in your name mean?
Doctor Inertia: I can also influence kinetic energy to an extent. I can absorb it, store it, and then release it later. I can also use it to create fields around me that increase or decrease the accuracy and force that people within the fields exert. Think of people as kinetic generators - they usually employ the kinetic energy they generate by walking, jumping, or swinging a bat. I can tap into the energy they create and use it for my own purposes. The more people around me, the more energy I have to work with.
Joan Reid: What other powers do you control?
Doctor Inertia: That's it. Gravity and kinetic force, and both of those are quite limited. In theory somebody with sufficient control over gravity could increase the gravitational pull of the earth such that it collapsed on itself and drew other matter in from space, surpassing the Chandrasekhar limit and turning our solar system into a black hole. But I haven't encountered anybody with anything like that kind of power over gravity, fortunately.
Joan Reid: But lately people have seen you throwing fire around. Is there something you're not telling us?
Doctor Inertia: Well, not really. I can't control fire. But gravity affects everything, matter and energy, and it's responsible for some of the most spectacular conversions of matter to energy that we know of. The fire is just combusting air - I create a tidal force, which is basically just a field of gravitational influence that is more intense at one end than the other. As the air accelerates across the field, it is dragged against other air outside the field. That friction creates heat, which causes the air to combust. It's a little showy, but some things are far more susceptible to heat or flame than to gradually being crushed.
Joan Reid: Tell us about the glowing ball that follows you around. Some people call it your pet. Does is have a name?
Doctor Inertia: [laughs] No, no name. It's not alive. It is basically a gravitational anomaly under the control of a nanobot. I essentially invest it with a considerable amount of gravitational force, and the nanobot releases it selectively.
Joan Reid: So you have more firepower.
Doctor Inertia: In a sense, yes. And no. I mean, the force all originates from me, so there's no more force available. But it's a way of delegating. People don't multitask well, so I basically share some of the force with nanobots, who are better able to multitask. And so crooks have to face two gravitationally powered heroes instead of one.
Joan Reid: What else do the nanobots do for you?
Doctor Inertia: They keep me healthy. They supplement my immune system and they put a lot of effort into keeping me alive. They also extend some of my capabilities beyond what my human limits were. So, for example, I can jump considerably higher than I could before the accident. I heal from injuries much faster. I can run all day long. Things like that.
Joan Reid: They certainly sound handy. Are there drawbacks?
Doctor Inertia: Pain. There's a lot of pain.
Joan Reid: From the accident?
Doctor Inertia: Yes, and from what the nanobots did in their efforts to rebuild me. They didn't know much about human biology then, and they did a clumsy job compared to what they're capable of now. I have a lot of back pain. And then there's just the concept of these tiny little robot bugs living inside me. I'm used to it now, but it bothered me at first. And I still can't explain how they learned how to repair me or how they got the instructions to do so in the first place, or why they even migrated to my body. There are a lot of unknowns, and that's alarming. Programming doesn't just alter itself.
Joan Reid: How do you deal with all of that?
Doctor Inertia: I don't see that I have any choice in the matter.
Joan Reid: Pop psychology might suggest that saving people's lives helps.
Doctor Inertia: Maybe. I'm not a psychologist, popular or unpopular. I'm just glad I'm still alive, really. The rest of it is something I take as it comes to me.
Joan Reid: I'd like to talk a little bit more about the woman instead of the hero.
Doctor Inertia: I'm not sure there's a lot to talk about.
Joan Reid: Is there a Mister Inertia?
Doctor Inertia: There's definitely nothing to talk about.
Joan Reid: No love interests?
Doctor Inertia: None.
Joan Reid: Why not?
Doctor Inertia: I've never been particularly successful at dating. I mean, I was a scientist, and I was successful. That stops a lot of men right there. Since the accident, there's just no way.
Joan Reid: You haven't saved any eligible bachelors in your career fighting crime?
Doctor Inertia: Oh, sure. Most are embarrassed. Some have kissed me. I've even got a few proposals.
Joan Reid: But you said no.
Doctor Inertia: Technically I didn't answer. But you don't take that kind of thing seriously. They're not proposing to me, they're proposing to an idea. They know nothing about me. You don't marry somebody because they saved your life, no matter what Hollywood romances tell us. And you certainly don't marry somebody because you saved his life. Besides, most of the charm is eliminated from the situation after the first time you're kissed or proposed to by a man wearing a wedding ring.
Joan Reid: And you don't have a normal life where you can meet people in the library or the grocery story.
Doctor Inertia: Right. And even if I did, they'd run screaming when they saw my eyes or learned more about me. I mean, I'm not even really human any more. My spine is metal, among other things. I don't look like a normal person. I doubt I could even have kids. I'm so far removed from the white picket fence that there's not much point in trying.
Joan Reid: What about other heroes?
Doctor Inertia: I got involved with a teammate once, but it didn't work out.
Joan Reid: Why not?
Doctor Inertia: It's very hard to go into a lethal situation with somebody you love and not try to protect them. When they don't need protecting or don't think they need it, or when protecting them keeps them from doing their job, it's a problem. And maybe it's hard for men to see a woman they care for protecting them. It's messy. This situation was messy, anyway. Maybe it's not always like that.
Joan Reid: What about Statesman?
Doctor Inertia: What about him?
Joan Reid: Could he be a love interest?
Doctor Inertia: No, no way. I've only met him once, and it was in passing. I doubt he even remembers my name. And if he does, he probably assumes that I'm a man because of the "Doctor" part. Or a healer. It's a common problem.
Joan Reid: Does it bother you that he wouldn't remember your name?
Doctor Inertia: Of course not! He's busy, he has a lot of responsibility. I can't even imagine what troubles him. A man like that can't be expected to remember all the details going on around him. He has bigger fish to fry.
Joan Reid: So you have no interest in Statesman?
Doctor Inertia: No. Well... [laughs] Okay, maybe. I mean, sure, what woman doesn't? Confidence, strength and charisma never go out of style. But it's basically... This is so embarrassing. I don't really know him. I've just heard him speak and met him once. It--
Joan Reid: You saved him.
Doctor Inertia: It was a brief meeting.
Joan Reid: Briefly or not, you saved his life. Did he kiss you? Propose?
Doctor Inertia: Of course not! He was very businesslike. It was all business. Even if he was interested, I have no clue what he's really like. Maybe he doesn't cut his toenails, right? Maybe he's an alcoholic. [laughs] Oh, god, I can't believe I just said that Statesman is an alcoholic. But my point stands. I don't know who he is underneath the legend.
Joan Reid: I've heard that you're friends with Sister Psyche and Numina. Maybe they could introduce you?
Doctor Inertia: I wouldn't ask it. He really is busy. Besides, I'm not really social friends with those two, I'm a working friend. I have tracked down some big problems they've discovered, and we know each other by name, but Numina and I don't go to the movies together. I'd go shopping with her in a minute, though. Have you seen her costume? That's style. I swear she's enchanted Icon so that they'll never stock anything like it.
Joan Reid: Why are you a hero?
Doctor Inertia: Well-- Why? Well, the accident happened when the Rikti War broke out. It destroyed my life's work. It scarred me. And then suddenly I had these powers. I couldn't watch the city fall apart and invaders take over. And I had so little to lose, or so it seemed at the time.
Joan Reid: And now you don't.
Doctor Inertia: I'm over the depression that followed the accident. I accept who I am now and what I am and what I have to offer, and I value all of that. But I can't turn my back on the city now. We need people to stand up and do the right thing now more than ever, and I have the ability and the power to do it. I can't walk away from that and hide from the nastiness in the world. These things have to be dealt with.
Joan Reid: And is this always what you'll be doing? What about the future?
Doctor Inertia: You mean retirement?
Joan Reid: Presumably there is some point at which it doesn't make sense for you to fight crime any more.
Doctor Inertia: I suppose. It's not something I've thought much about. There's so much to do on a daily basis that it's hard to make long term plans. And really, this is not a safe occupation. I'd consider myself very lucky if I live to a point where I can even think about retirement.
Joan Reid: But you're safe with the teleporters.
Doctor Inertia: If I stayed inside Paragon City, I suppose. Although they're not foolproof. And I don't stay here. I go to other dimensions, I travel outside the city. There has been a lot of work to project the hospital teleporter network through dimensions and outside the city, but who knows? What if we go to a dimension where physics just operate differently? What if the teleporters are down? What if some villain strikes at the network? It doesn't pay to rely on these things, because then you get complacent and you're not in any shape to deal with things once the situation changes.
Joan Reid: It sounds like you've had some experience with these malfunctions.
Doctor Inertia: Yes. In most cases it was just somebody subverting the teleport mechanism in order to capture heroes. I broke free of those, but it was a wake-up call. But there was one time when somebody tried to kill me outright, and the teleporters weren't working.
Joan Reid: But you beat him?
Doctor Inertia: Her. No. She beat me. Badly. I should have died.
Joan Reid: But you didn't?
Doctor Inertia: No, it... it didn't work. It should have. I don't know what happened. Any normal person would be very dead. This is what I mean when I say that I'm not entirely human. I don't even know why I'm alive, why I survived what she did to me.
Joan Reid: Is the woman who did this to you still at large?
Doctor Inertia: No, she's in maximum security at Ziggursky.
Joan Reid: Who put her there?
Doctor Inertia: I did.
Joan Reid: After she tried to kill you?
Doctor Inertia: Some time after. She left me for dead, and then I got better.
Joan Reid: You've mentioned twice now that you're not human. If you measure humanity by how close our bodies are to perfection, then perhaps not. I'd point out that people who are missing limbs are less human by that definition. But if you measure humanity by our deeds, then, to me, you are very human. You're a woman who has recovered from horrible tragedies to save lives. You give your time selflessly. You make this city a better place to be. And you don't ask for a reward. You're a hero not just in name, but in deeds and in spirit.
Doctor Inertia: I don't... That's very flattering. Thanks. Thank you. That's nice to hear. You're right, maybe it's glib to say that I'm not human. But I can't be talked out of my concern for the fact that my body isn't anything like what we know and understand. That frightens me, and it sets me apart.
Joan Reid: There are a lot of people who owe their lives to that difference. And all we can do is thank you. Thank you for risking yourself, thank you for giving your time, and thank you for coming in today to talk to us.
Doctor Inertia: Thank you. It's been a pleasure.
Joan Reid: And if you get to go shopping with Numina, you have my number.
Joan Reid: Hello, I'm Joan Reid, and you're listening to People of Paragon City. We're continuing our series of interviews with important heroines in an attempt to learn more about these women who mean so much to our daily lives in Paragon City. Today I'm talking to Doctor Inertia, who has made a name for herself by challenging some of the deadliest villains to beset Paragon City, including the likes of Nosferatu, Nemesis and even the Praetorians. She has recently returned to public duty after what seemed to be a long hiatus. Hello, Doctor Inertia, and welcome to the show.
Doctor Inertia: Hello, Joan. It's a pleasure to be here.
Joan Reid: We didn't hear much of you during the past several months. What happened?
Doctor Inertia: I was doing some undercover work for a couple of... friends.
Joan Reid: Some people had thought that you were dead.
Doctor Inertia: What's the Mark Twain line about that?
Joan Reid: "The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."
Doctor Inertia: That's the one.
Joan Reid: We're glad that you're back and safe. Tell us a about how you came to be a hero. I understand there was an accident of some sort.
Doctor Inertia: Okay. Yes, there was. Well, let's step back a bit. I had been working in an advanced physics laboratory with a device that I had created with a colleague.
Joan Reid: So you were a scientist?
Doctor Inertia: That's right. When the Rikti War broke out they entered our building. I hid in my lab, and they didn't seem to notice me. But a hero burst in and attempted to stop them. He did succeed, but there was a large explosion during the course of the battle. I was badly injured, and I was taken to the hospital. I suppose some firemen or rescue workers found me. I was in bad shape, but I made a strong recovery at the hospital.
Joan Reid: I understand you were in the Intensive Care Ward for a period.
Doctor Inertia: Yes. My spine had been severed in a few places and several other bones were broken. There was internal bleeding and a whole laundry list of things wrong.
Joan Reid: But you can walk now.
Doctor Inertia: Walk, run, jump. My spine was actually rebuilt. Well, these tiny little robots that I had devised to help me with my work had somehow managed to enter my body when the machine that housed them was destroyed. It's still not clear to me exactly what happened, but somehow during the accident they were altered far beyond anything I had designed them for. At any rate, they took it upon themselves - and I still don't understand how - they took it upon themselves to repair me.
Joan Reid: So they can think for themselves?
Doctor Inertia: No, no. They're just machines, they can only do what they're instructed to do. They still serve the original purpose they were designed for, but somehow they acquired new instructions concerning how to live in and maintain an organic host.
Joan Reid: What was their original purpose?
Doctor Inertia: I'd rather not say. It's very technical, and disclosing that information would reveal who I used to be to anybody with enough knowledge in the field. It was a rather specialized discipline.
Joan Reid: So you're maintaining a secret identity?
Doctor Inertia: Not in the conventional sense. I can't really be the woman I was any more - it's obvious to anybody who looks at me that I'm Doctor Inertia. My eyes and hair are somewhat distinctive.
Joan Reid: To me you look like an attractive woman in her mid thirties. The only unusual things that I notice are that your hair and eyes are both milk-white. Your eyes seem to have no iris or pupil, or even veins. But it seems that you could dye your hair and wear sunglasses and nobody would know.
Doctor Inertia: I can't actually dye my hair. The tiny machines that live inside me-
Joan Reid: Do you have a name for them?
Doctor Inertia: I... yes, actually. I call them nanobots. The nanobots remove dye. They generally have a pretty aggressive reaction to foreign substances. So my dye only lasts about ten minutes. When I go grocery shopping I wear sunglasses and tie my hair up in a scarf. But I can't go around like that all the time, so I've given up on maintaining my past life.
Joan Reid: That sounds hard.
Doctor Inertia: You get used to anything. I mean... It is hard. It's very hard. I don't want you to think that I turned my life off like a light switch. But you have to understand that people notice eyes. You can't have eyes like this without people noticing and wondering why and making connections to the white-eyed, white-haired woman who runs around in armor and crushes Nemesis machines to the size of a grape. Especially in this town, where everybody is trying to guess every hero's secret identity.
Joan Reid: What about your family?
Doctor Inertia: I still keep in touch with them. They know about me and I still spend time with them, incognito, of course. It's hard for them, and they worry a lot.
Joan Reid: Let's pick up the story from when you woke up in the hospital and the... nanobots, is it?
Doctor Inertia: Yes.
Joan Reid: When the nanobots healed you.
Doctor Inertia: They rebuilt me. Or repaired me. They're machines, and that's how they think of me. They weren't very graceful at the job back then, although by now they're much better at keeping me healthy without doing damage. It's been a long programming process, and I had to study up on biology and medicine so that I could teach them how to keep me alive without killing me, so to speak.
Joan Reid: So what happened when you woke up?
Doctor Inertia: Well, it was frightening, and I wasn't recovered, and the nurse told me I was paralyzed. About that time I learned that I could manipulate objects. It was clumsy at first, and I didn't know what was happening, but the nurses were patient with me, especially considering how swamped the hospitals were then.
Joan Reid: So how can you manipulate objects?
Doctor Inertia: Well, I can alter gravitational relationships. Basically I can control the strength of the gravitational constant in a given gravitational interaction without affecting it in all the other gravitational interactions that affect the principals of the interaction.
Joan Reid: I'm not a scientist, so I don't know what that means.
Doctor Inertia: I guess that was a bit obtuse. Try it this way: if all the gravitation that was operating on you right now were suddenly eliminated, you would be thrown into space by the motion of the earth.
Joan Reid: Can you do that?
Doctor Inertia: [laughs] No, no. I can only manipulate a certain number of gravitational interactions at a time, and I can only alter the strength so far. I can make it stronger or weaker to a certain extent, but I'm limited by either time or magnitude. So I can minimize the earth's pull on something for a fraction of a second, but not much longer - that just throws it up in the air and lets it fall back down. I could also magnify the strength of gravity between you and me, which would fling us together... or I could also anchor you by increasing gravity between you and the wall between you, which would send me flying toward you and leave you where you are.
Joan Reid: I can see how criminals would have reason to fear you. Do you do anything besides manipulate gravity? What does the "Inertia" in your name mean?
Doctor Inertia: I can also influence kinetic energy to an extent. I can absorb it, store it, and then release it later. I can also use it to create fields around me that increase or decrease the accuracy and force that people within the fields exert. Think of people as kinetic generators - they usually employ the kinetic energy they generate by walking, jumping, or swinging a bat. I can tap into the energy they create and use it for my own purposes. The more people around me, the more energy I have to work with.
Joan Reid: What other powers do you control?
Doctor Inertia: That's it. Gravity and kinetic force, and both of those are quite limited. In theory somebody with sufficient control over gravity could increase the gravitational pull of the earth such that it collapsed on itself and drew other matter in from space, surpassing the Chandrasekhar limit and turning our solar system into a black hole. But I haven't encountered anybody with anything like that kind of power over gravity, fortunately.
Joan Reid: But lately people have seen you throwing fire around. Is there something you're not telling us?
Doctor Inertia: Well, not really. I can't control fire. But gravity affects everything, matter and energy, and it's responsible for some of the most spectacular conversions of matter to energy that we know of. The fire is just combusting air - I create a tidal force, which is basically just a field of gravitational influence that is more intense at one end than the other. As the air accelerates across the field, it is dragged against other air outside the field. That friction creates heat, which causes the air to combust. It's a little showy, but some things are far more susceptible to heat or flame than to gradually being crushed.
Joan Reid: Tell us about the glowing ball that follows you around. Some people call it your pet. Does is have a name?
Doctor Inertia: [laughs] No, no name. It's not alive. It is basically a gravitational anomaly under the control of a nanobot. I essentially invest it with a considerable amount of gravitational force, and the nanobot releases it selectively.
Joan Reid: So you have more firepower.
Doctor Inertia: In a sense, yes. And no. I mean, the force all originates from me, so there's no more force available. But it's a way of delegating. People don't multitask well, so I basically share some of the force with nanobots, who are better able to multitask. And so crooks have to face two gravitationally powered heroes instead of one.
Joan Reid: What else do the nanobots do for you?
Doctor Inertia: They keep me healthy. They supplement my immune system and they put a lot of effort into keeping me alive. They also extend some of my capabilities beyond what my human limits were. So, for example, I can jump considerably higher than I could before the accident. I heal from injuries much faster. I can run all day long. Things like that.
Joan Reid: They certainly sound handy. Are there drawbacks?
Doctor Inertia: Pain. There's a lot of pain.
Joan Reid: From the accident?
Doctor Inertia: Yes, and from what the nanobots did in their efforts to rebuild me. They didn't know much about human biology then, and they did a clumsy job compared to what they're capable of now. I have a lot of back pain. And then there's just the concept of these tiny little robot bugs living inside me. I'm used to it now, but it bothered me at first. And I still can't explain how they learned how to repair me or how they got the instructions to do so in the first place, or why they even migrated to my body. There are a lot of unknowns, and that's alarming. Programming doesn't just alter itself.
Joan Reid: How do you deal with all of that?
Doctor Inertia: I don't see that I have any choice in the matter.
Joan Reid: Pop psychology might suggest that saving people's lives helps.
Doctor Inertia: Maybe. I'm not a psychologist, popular or unpopular. I'm just glad I'm still alive, really. The rest of it is something I take as it comes to me.
Joan Reid: I'd like to talk a little bit more about the woman instead of the hero.
Doctor Inertia: I'm not sure there's a lot to talk about.
Joan Reid: Is there a Mister Inertia?
Doctor Inertia: There's definitely nothing to talk about.
Joan Reid: No love interests?
Doctor Inertia: None.
Joan Reid: Why not?
Doctor Inertia: I've never been particularly successful at dating. I mean, I was a scientist, and I was successful. That stops a lot of men right there. Since the accident, there's just no way.
Joan Reid: You haven't saved any eligible bachelors in your career fighting crime?
Doctor Inertia: Oh, sure. Most are embarrassed. Some have kissed me. I've even got a few proposals.
Joan Reid: But you said no.
Doctor Inertia: Technically I didn't answer. But you don't take that kind of thing seriously. They're not proposing to me, they're proposing to an idea. They know nothing about me. You don't marry somebody because they saved your life, no matter what Hollywood romances tell us. And you certainly don't marry somebody because you saved his life. Besides, most of the charm is eliminated from the situation after the first time you're kissed or proposed to by a man wearing a wedding ring.
Joan Reid: And you don't have a normal life where you can meet people in the library or the grocery story.
Doctor Inertia: Right. And even if I did, they'd run screaming when they saw my eyes or learned more about me. I mean, I'm not even really human any more. My spine is metal, among other things. I don't look like a normal person. I doubt I could even have kids. I'm so far removed from the white picket fence that there's not much point in trying.
Joan Reid: What about other heroes?
Doctor Inertia: I got involved with a teammate once, but it didn't work out.
Joan Reid: Why not?
Doctor Inertia: It's very hard to go into a lethal situation with somebody you love and not try to protect them. When they don't need protecting or don't think they need it, or when protecting them keeps them from doing their job, it's a problem. And maybe it's hard for men to see a woman they care for protecting them. It's messy. This situation was messy, anyway. Maybe it's not always like that.
Joan Reid: What about Statesman?
Doctor Inertia: What about him?
Joan Reid: Could he be a love interest?
Doctor Inertia: No, no way. I've only met him once, and it was in passing. I doubt he even remembers my name. And if he does, he probably assumes that I'm a man because of the "Doctor" part. Or a healer. It's a common problem.
Joan Reid: Does it bother you that he wouldn't remember your name?
Doctor Inertia: Of course not! He's busy, he has a lot of responsibility. I can't even imagine what troubles him. A man like that can't be expected to remember all the details going on around him. He has bigger fish to fry.
Joan Reid: So you have no interest in Statesman?
Doctor Inertia: No. Well... [laughs] Okay, maybe. I mean, sure, what woman doesn't? Confidence, strength and charisma never go out of style. But it's basically... This is so embarrassing. I don't really know him. I've just heard him speak and met him once. It--
Joan Reid: You saved him.
Doctor Inertia: It was a brief meeting.
Joan Reid: Briefly or not, you saved his life. Did he kiss you? Propose?
Doctor Inertia: Of course not! He was very businesslike. It was all business. Even if he was interested, I have no clue what he's really like. Maybe he doesn't cut his toenails, right? Maybe he's an alcoholic. [laughs] Oh, god, I can't believe I just said that Statesman is an alcoholic. But my point stands. I don't know who he is underneath the legend.
Joan Reid: I've heard that you're friends with Sister Psyche and Numina. Maybe they could introduce you?
Doctor Inertia: I wouldn't ask it. He really is busy. Besides, I'm not really social friends with those two, I'm a working friend. I have tracked down some big problems they've discovered, and we know each other by name, but Numina and I don't go to the movies together. I'd go shopping with her in a minute, though. Have you seen her costume? That's style. I swear she's enchanted Icon so that they'll never stock anything like it.
Joan Reid: Why are you a hero?
Doctor Inertia: Well-- Why? Well, the accident happened when the Rikti War broke out. It destroyed my life's work. It scarred me. And then suddenly I had these powers. I couldn't watch the city fall apart and invaders take over. And I had so little to lose, or so it seemed at the time.
Joan Reid: And now you don't.
Doctor Inertia: I'm over the depression that followed the accident. I accept who I am now and what I am and what I have to offer, and I value all of that. But I can't turn my back on the city now. We need people to stand up and do the right thing now more than ever, and I have the ability and the power to do it. I can't walk away from that and hide from the nastiness in the world. These things have to be dealt with.
Joan Reid: And is this always what you'll be doing? What about the future?
Doctor Inertia: You mean retirement?
Joan Reid: Presumably there is some point at which it doesn't make sense for you to fight crime any more.
Doctor Inertia: I suppose. It's not something I've thought much about. There's so much to do on a daily basis that it's hard to make long term plans. And really, this is not a safe occupation. I'd consider myself very lucky if I live to a point where I can even think about retirement.
Joan Reid: But you're safe with the teleporters.
Doctor Inertia: If I stayed inside Paragon City, I suppose. Although they're not foolproof. And I don't stay here. I go to other dimensions, I travel outside the city. There has been a lot of work to project the hospital teleporter network through dimensions and outside the city, but who knows? What if we go to a dimension where physics just operate differently? What if the teleporters are down? What if some villain strikes at the network? It doesn't pay to rely on these things, because then you get complacent and you're not in any shape to deal with things once the situation changes.
Joan Reid: It sounds like you've had some experience with these malfunctions.
Doctor Inertia: Yes. In most cases it was just somebody subverting the teleport mechanism in order to capture heroes. I broke free of those, but it was a wake-up call. But there was one time when somebody tried to kill me outright, and the teleporters weren't working.
Joan Reid: But you beat him?
Doctor Inertia: Her. No. She beat me. Badly. I should have died.
Joan Reid: But you didn't?
Doctor Inertia: No, it... it didn't work. It should have. I don't know what happened. Any normal person would be very dead. This is what I mean when I say that I'm not entirely human. I don't even know why I'm alive, why I survived what she did to me.
Joan Reid: Is the woman who did this to you still at large?
Doctor Inertia: No, she's in maximum security at Ziggursky.
Joan Reid: Who put her there?
Doctor Inertia: I did.
Joan Reid: After she tried to kill you?
Doctor Inertia: Some time after. She left me for dead, and then I got better.
Joan Reid: You've mentioned twice now that you're not human. If you measure humanity by how close our bodies are to perfection, then perhaps not. I'd point out that people who are missing limbs are less human by that definition. But if you measure humanity by our deeds, then, to me, you are very human. You're a woman who has recovered from horrible tragedies to save lives. You give your time selflessly. You make this city a better place to be. And you don't ask for a reward. You're a hero not just in name, but in deeds and in spirit.
Doctor Inertia: I don't... That's very flattering. Thanks. Thank you. That's nice to hear. You're right, maybe it's glib to say that I'm not human. But I can't be talked out of my concern for the fact that my body isn't anything like what we know and understand. That frightens me, and it sets me apart.
Joan Reid: There are a lot of people who owe their lives to that difference. And all we can do is thank you. Thank you for risking yourself, thank you for giving your time, and thank you for coming in today to talk to us.
Doctor Inertia: Thank you. It's been a pleasure.
Joan Reid: And if you get to go shopping with Numina, you have my number.
Doctor Inertia: [laughs] I'll call.