The Statesman is right. He knows the game better than you do, so just shut up. If you don't like the game go to Kong Burger.
Best post since World of Burgercraft!
TEH WERDZ ON SKREEN HURTZ MI BRANE!
Yes, but...
Customer A walks into Kong Burger...
A: "I'd like two cheeseburgers and a coke."
Clerk: "Sorry, but we don't have cheeseburgers."
A: "Fine. I'll take two regular burgers and a coke."
Clerk: "Sorry, but we don't have burgers."
A: "This is Kong Burger, isn't it?"
Clerk: "Yes..."
A: "What do you have, then?"
Clerk: "Well, we have beef and cheese sandwitches."
A: "How is that different from a cheeseburger?"
Clerk: "They cost more and don't taste as good."
A: "Fine, but your coke better have ice in it."
Clerk: "Absolutely."
A *takes food and sits down, only to come back a monent later*
A: "This coke is all ice. There's no coke in it at all."
Clerk: "That's right. We've found that most of our customers don't like coke. Lots of customers say they want coke, but they come to Kong Burger for the ice and the atmosphere..."
Clerk: "Have you tried our fries? You'll like our fries."
And so it goes.
Day 1
Customer A walks into Donald Macland's, a fast food restaurant.
Customer A: I'd like 2 cheeseburgers and a Cola please.
Customer A receives his food and while he's eating it notices someone eating what looks like a cheeseburger except that it doesn't have the burger. It's just the bun with a slice of cheese in between. He's curious, but does nothing more than eat his meal.
Day 2
Customer A walks into Donald Macland's.
Customer A: I'd like 2 cheeseburgers and a Cola please.
Customer A receives his meal, begins to eat, and notices that the cheeseburgers only have 1 pickle slice instead of 2.
Customer A: I'd like 2 pickle slices on my cheeseburgers please.
Manager: Sorry, but our internal testing revealed that 2 slices was overpowered, they masked the taste of the burger. Don't worry though, you'll soon be able to get fries with your meal.
Customer A: I don't like fries, and weren't you the one I saw eating the cheeseburger yesterday? And is that why you decided 2 pickles overpowered the taste of the burger?
Manager: Yes and yes, and what about it?
Customer A: You didn't even have a burger in the cheeseburger! No wonder you couldn't taste it and thought the pickles were too strong!
The restaurant manager ducks behind the counter out of sight, then stands up chewing something and then swallows it.
Manager: Yes definately, 2 pickles is 1 pickle too many.
Customer A: What was that you were eating? Was that really a cheeseburger with 2 pickle slices?
Manager: You'll like our fries.
Customer A: I already told you I don't like fries. I do like 2 pickle slices on my cheeseburgers.
Customer B: The manager is right. He knows the restaurant better than you do, so just shut up. If you don't like the food go to Kong Burger across the street.
Customer A to Customer B: This doesn't affect you at all, you got the Slab o' Fish sandwich.
Customer A to manager: Can I get another slice of pickle please?
Manager. No, but soon you'll be able to have fries. You'll like our fries.
Customer A: I don't like fries, I just want a Cola and 2 cheeseburgers with 2 slices of pickle on each burger like I got yesterday.
Manager: Thank you for your comments. We put great value on our customer comments.
Day 3
Customer A walks into Donald Macland's
Customer A: I'd like 2 cheeseburgers and a Cola please.
Customer A receives his meal, and notices that the Cola doesn't have ice in it.
Customer A: My Cola doesn't have ice in it.
(long silence)
Customer A: Uh, excuse me, my Cola doesn't have ice in it.
Customer B: Are you in here whining again? Why can't you just shut up? If you don't like the food go to Kong Burger.
Customer A: I really would like to have some ice in my Cola. My Cola does not have ice in it.
Manager: Yes I know.
Customer A: Can I get some ice in my Cola?
Manager: No.
Customer A: Why not?
Manager: People who have ice in their Cola drink it too fast.
Customer B: The manager is right. He knows the restaurant better than you do, so just shut up. If you don't like the food go to Kong Burger.
Customer A: I like ice in my Cola, what difference does it make to you how fast I drink my Cola?
Manager: When people drink their Cola faster than I think they should, it devalues the whole Cola drinking experience, making them demand more Cola. Instead of giving people ice or more Cola, we're going to offer them fries soon.
Customer A: I did NOT come here for FRIES. I do NOT want fries in any shape or form! I want ice in my Cola!
Customer B: Fries are always sold in this kind of restaurant. You're always complaining. If you don't like the food go to Kong Burger.
Day 4
Customer A walks into Donald Macland's
Customer A: I'd like 2 cheeseburgers and a Cola please.
Customer A receives his meal, and notices that half of one of the cheeseburgers is missing.
Customer A: Half of this cheeseburger is missing.
(long silence)
Customer A: Uh, excuse me, half of this cheeseburger is missing.
(another long silence)
Customer A: WHERE is the other half of this cheeseburger?
Manager: It's not missing. You no longer get that half.
Customer A: Why?
Manager (pointing to customer C): See that customer over there?
Customer A: Yeah?
Manager: You get half of one of your cheeseburgers because he likes Chikin Chunks.
Customer A: Huh? I don't understand.
Customer B: Don't be stupid. The manager is right. If you don't like the food go to Kong Burger.
Manager: You got more food with 2 cheeseburgers than he got with Chikin Chunks, and when he realized that, then he couldn't enjoy his Chikin Chunks knowing that you got more food than he did. In order for him to enjoy his Chikin Chunks we took away half of one of your cheeseburgers.
Customer A: I still don't understand what my cheeseburgers have to do with his Chikin Chunks. He's getting the same amount of food he always was! He was happy with his Chikin Chunks before he knew I got more food. Besides he could order cheeseburgers if he wanted them or you could just give him more Chikin Chunks!
Customer B: You're such a baby. Waaaaah. You're so used to getting 2 cheeseburgers that you don't even realize that 2 cheeseburgers is too much for anyone. In fact, 1 and a half cheeseburgers is probably too much. I'm glad to see that you're getting less food. You should be honored that the store manager even listens to you at all. He doesn't have to you know. He knows what's best for his restaurant. If you don't like it, go to Kong Burger.
Manager: I realize that you're getting less food now, but soon you'll be able to get fries. You'll like our fries.
Customer A: I have not in the past, nor will I EVER want fries.
Day 5
Customer A walks into Donald Macland's
Customer A: I'd like 2 cheeseburgers and a Cola please.
Customer A receives his meal, and notices that he only has one cheeseburger.
Customer A: Why do I have only 1 cheeseburger? Why the )(*&^%% do I only have 1 cheeseburger?
Manager: If you have a comment please make it politely. One and a half cheeseburgers plus fries is more food than anyone should have. We've made the necessary menu adjustments so that everyone can equally enjoy fries with their meals. So now I am very proud to announce that you can have fries with your cheeseburger, for an additional cost of course.
Customer A: I DON'T want no )(*&(*&%$% FRIES! I want 2 cheeseburgers with 2 pickle slices on each one and I want ice in my Cola. How much of this treatment do you expect me to take?
Customer C: Doooooom!
Customer B: This is great! I love fries. The manager knew what he was doing all along. If you don't like it, go to Kong Burger.
Day 6
Customer A walks into Kong Burger.
Customer B walks into Donald Macland's and orders a Slab o' Fish sandwich and fries.
Customer B: Hey! My Slab o' Fish doesn't have tartar sauce on it.
(long silence)
Customer B: (*&^%**( why doesn't my Slab o' Fish have tartar sauce on it?
Manager: It does have tartar sauce.
Customer B: No it doesn't. This is mayonaise.
Manager: No, that's tartar sauce. Our datamining showed that certain sauces on the menu were unparralled. No other sauce has pickles in it. The tartar sauce is now tasting as intended.
Customer C: Why are you complaining? If you don't like the food go to Kong Burger.
Day 7
Customer A walks into Kong Burger.
Customer B walks into Kong Burger.
Customer C walks into Donald Macland's and orders Chikin Chunks and fries.
Customer C notices that the fries don't have salt.
Customer C: Excuse me, these fries don't have salt.
(long silence)
Customer C: Can I get some salt for these fries?
Manager: No.
Customer C: Why not?
Manager: Our research shows that salt makes people thirsty. If people are thirsty they'll demand more Cola.
Day 8
An Out of Business sign hangs on the door of Donald Macland's.
"The goal for the level 30+ game is for players to have fun battling those foes. So, if you�re level 40, 3 to 4 +3 level minions should present a challenge." -- Statesman
Status: Position relative to that of others; standing.
Stasis: A condition of balance among various forces; motionlessness.