((This is a short story that I put together on a trans-atlantic flight back to University. My first post here on the forums. Enjoy!))
Years ago, before the Rikti War, I was a college student at Paragon University working part-time for M.A.G.I. as an intern. When the aliens attacked, they picked the M.A.G.I. Vault as a high-priority target, seeking to secure some of the most dangerous and powerful artefacts that our world has to offer. In a desperate attempt to keep them at bay, I donned The Suit of the Hegemon - an enchanted suit of armour that renders the wearer super-strong nearly invulnerable to most attacks. Its a relic of great power, and I was able to use it to hold off the aliens until some more experienced help arrived. I dont regret my decision; I probably saved hundreds of lives by keeping those artefacts out of enemy hands. After the fight, though, my life was permanently changed. I cant take the suit off for more than a few hours - it just reappears around my body after a short while. I had to drop out of school (It can be difficult to write or type wearing gauntlets), but I get to spend most of my time doing Hero work. I like being a Hero - I get to use my powers to help people. I really feel like Ive made a difference in the world.
I have arrested hundreds of villains, both mundane and super-powered. Ive stared death in the face, spat in his eyes, and lived to tell the tale. Ive even saved the world a few times. I have more adventures under my belt than most people on this planet, but nothing I have ever experienced could have prepared me for this.
Grocery Shopping -- Everyone does it, but for some heroes, its almost impossible to do without help. Its one of the things I miss most about being a normal civilian. I used to do it by myself, but I once had an incident that almost stopped me from ever doing it again.
It was an evening in the middle of last December, close to Christmas. There was no snow yet, but it was getting cold. I wouldnt have been able to tell if it werent for everyone else bundling up - the suit insulates me pretty well from temperature extremes. I used to do my shopping in Kings Row, since one of the store owners had given me a permanent discount for saving his shop from being torched by a group of Skulls when I was just starting out.
I landed about a hundred yards away, trying to touch down as softly as possible so as not to put footprints in the asphalt. As usual, people gave me astonished looks; even though this is the famed City of Heroes most normal people are surprised to see anyone flying around without machine assistance. Also, I tend to draw some stares wearing a blackened suit of armour covered with blood-red hieroglyphs. Even in Paragon City, its a bit out of the ordinary.
I crossed the street, waving hello and shooting smiles at my small audience. In front of the market, I gently pushed the door open and walked inside. The owner, Mr. Lo, wasnt in, so I told the woman behind the counter to say hi for me. I hadnt seen her before, but she didnt look very surprised to see me. I probably wasnt the only hero to frequent Los Market.
I carefully pulled a shopping cart from the front of the store, and proceeded to browse. It wasnt long before I was recognised.
Hey! Arent you The Hegemon? I heard from behind me. I turned around toward the voice, and found a guy staring at me with an astonished face. He was a big man by normal standards, but I knew some huge heroes, so it didnt take me by surprise. I liked being recognised, and Ive always believed that its important to be nice to people, so I smiled and replied.
Thats me. Pleased to meet you. Id have shaken his hand, but the super-strength sometimes kicks in at odd moments.
Oh, man! Youre the coolest! I totally know this guy whose brother you saved from the Freakshow!
We made small-talk for a minute or so, but I soon had to get on with my shopping. I told him as much, and he smiled and nodded. Almost as an afterthought, he brought up a request. Probably the reason he had talked to me in the first place.
Before you go, do you mind if I you know ? he started, wearing a pleading look on his face. I knew exactly what he wanted. With a mental sigh, I answered:
OK, but just once
Almost before I finished the sentence, the guy punched me across the face as hard as he could. It felt like a feather brushing my cheek. He held his wrist and smiled in astonishment.
Wow! You really are as tough as they say on the news! My friends arent gonna believe this! Take care, man!
I had a reputation for being impervious to harm. It was what I was famous for, and normal people were often asking to hit me and test the hype. I was OK with it, as long as they asked beforehand. Ive had the occasional stranger crack me over the head with something without so much as saying hello. I also try not to let anyone do it if there are people watching. If I do, it usually means standing still as hordes of people line up to take a swing.
That taken care of, I continued to push my cart through the aisles, picking up some food every now and then. Eventually, I made it to the canned goods section. At this point, I had a choice. I hadnt had chicken-noodle soup in months, and I was really craving it. On the other hand, trying to pick up canned foods required extreme caution. I decided to risk it.
I pushed my cart to the centre of the aisle and held my breath. Slowly and carefully, I reached across and closed my hand around a can of chicken-noodle soup. Elation started to build as I moved the can towards the shopping cart. I was beginning to think that Id have soup for dinner when a sudden spasm of strength overtook my hand and crushed the can with the full might of the suit. A brilliant spray of full, hearty noodles and 30% more chicken sprayed from the top of the can, spraying across my face and the front of my breastplate.
I heard laughter at the back of my mind, and instantly knew what had happened. It was Emir.
Emir was the warlock who had created the suit. Like me, he couldnt take it off despite several failed attempts. Eventually he died wearing it, and his soul got trapped inside. Im hopeful that Ill find a way to remove the suit before the same thing happens to me.
Emir is kind of a jerk, but you cant help but feel sorry for him. Hes been trapped inside the suit for a few thousand years without human contact. The suit itself had been sitting inside a tomb since his death and only recently got moved to the M.A.G.I. Vault. Thousands of years of boredom can lead to becoming a bit crabby, even if you sleep through most of it. We have a working relationship; he teaches me about the powers of the suit, and I give him some entertainment by fighting super-villains with it. He greatly prefers it to staring at walls. Sometimes, I even let him use my voice to shout insults at the people Im fighting. Hes really good at it. If Im not expecting it, though, he can turn the powers of the suit on or off at his leisure. Like now.
I didnt want people to think I was crazy, so I whispered to myself instead of talking out loud.
Come on, Emir, dont be a jerk. I really want to have soup tonight, and I dont want to make a bigger mess.
Useless Worm! How can you palette such filth!? I refuse to disgust myself with your chicken-noodle soup.
Apparently, they werent big on processed foods in Emirs time. I had my doubts as to whether or not he could actually taste what I ate, and I didnt want to rule out the possibility that he was just acting up to be spiteful. I gritted my teeth together in barely controlled frustration.
Fine, I replied with defiance, Ill ask for help.
With some grumbling, I felt him disappear from my mind. It was a good thing, too; I hated asking for help for something so mundane as picking soup cans off of the shelf. I was a super-hero, for goodness sake!
I quickly picked up a few cans before Emir could figure out that I was bluffing and placed them inside the cart. I would have to deal with smelling like chicken-broth for the time being, but at least Id be able to have soup for dinner. A small victory on my part.
I apologised to the employee rushing to clean up the mess on the floor and assured him that Id pay for the crushed can. I knew he wouldnt mind too much, but I figured that I should leave before doing any more damage. I pushed the cart to the only check-out counter and started piling my groceries on the belt. After I was finished, I gave her my credit-card number (It was an understanding that I had with the owner; I had no pockets in my armour, and consequently couldnt carry around a wallet).
Do you have a club card? she asked, probably for the hundredth time today.
No I replied.
She narrowed her eyes at me and twisted her mouth in an angry grimace. It took me a few seconds to figure out what was wrong.
Emir had activated The Voice - Its one of the more obscure powers that the suit has. Through some magical means, it empowers my voice with the ability to make anyone I say anything to really, really angry with me for a short time. It had its uses in combat with team mates - I could pull enemies away from my friends if I needed to - but was basically useless in normal life. I had only recently learned how to use it, so I couldnt yet figure out how to turn it off when Emir decided to play practical jokes.
The check-out lady grabbed a ball-point pen from behind the counter and tried to stab me over the median. I was quick enough to step backwards before she connected, but it only made her more angry. She charged around the check-out counter, screaming at the top of her lungs. I knew that it would be pointless to run; my best bet would be to wait until the spell had worn off. She wasnt tall enough to reach my face, so she alternated between kicking me in the shins and stabbing the top part of my breastplate. I didnt feel a thing.
The exasperated employee who had been busy cleaning soup off of the tiles in Aisle four looked at the scene to see what the commotion was about.
Whats going on!? He shouted.
Dont worry; itll wear off soon! I replied, soon regretting it.
With a battle cry and some unintelligible insults, he charged forward with the soup-encrusted mop high over his head. As soon as he closed the distance, he speared me directly in the face with the wet end. It didnt hurt, but the combined smell of chicken-broth and disinfectant made me want to gag. I could feel Emir doubling over with laughter inside my head.
It was the most embarrassing moment of my entire career as a Hero. For a full minute, I was assaulted from both sides by the check-out lady with the pen and the janitor with the mop. A crowd had drawn together outside to witness it. When they saw that I wasnt fighting back, they started laughing. At this point, I knew better than to say anything to the crowd. The last thing I needed was to have more citizens trying to beat down on me. I hoped that no one had called the police; I would have to give a statement, and I knew that I would be shot at if I said anything.
After the effects of the spell had warn off, the two employees stepped backwards, astonished at what they had just done.
What just happened? and Im sorry; I dont know what came over me! they said. Instead of talking, I just smiled and nodded. In seconds I had left the building and was soaring through the windy December sky.
Later, at my apartment complex, I was relieved to be home. I had yelled at Emir in mid-flight, but he wouldnt stop laughing at me. I was pretty sure that hed finished having his fun.
I knew that I would never go shopping at Los Market again. How could I face those people? It was just too embarrassing. My frustration built through the elevator ride. I thought that I needed to remove the suit for a little while; it was starting to get to me.
When the lift reached my floor, I stepped out and immediately saw one of my neighbours. Only heroes lived in this particular apartment complex, and I recognised this one as The Black Panther. He was making for the elevator with his customised, pieced-together Assault Rifle. A high-tech targeting drone floated above his shoulder, painting my body with laser-sights. He was a nice guy; we teamed up together from time to time.
Hey, man. Just heard something about you on the radio. Did you hold up a super-market or something?
I gritted my teeth, hoping that I wasnt officially a wanted criminal. He probably noticed my reaction and decided to drop the joke.
Just kidding, bro. The radio just said something about an incident involving The Hegemon at a local market and I figured you accidentally knocked a few shelves over trying to pick up some Hero-Os. Am I right?
I was relieved.
Heh. Yeah, something like that. I paid for my stuff, but Im pretty embarrassed right now.
Thats nothing. Happens to lots of heroes. Besides, it could be worse. Just imagine if you had fire powers!
We made some more small talk, and I let him go do his thing. I thought he had left for the elevator when I heard him say something from behind me.
Hey, Hegemon - Mind if I you know ? he started, patting the stock of his gun.
Dont even think it. I asserted, scowling at him from over my shoulder. I tried to sound as serious as possible.
I turned my back to him, turning the doorknob of my apartment.
A loud bang echoed through the halls, and it felt like someone had just pinched my butt. Hard. I looked over my shoulder, squinting at him and frowning. He grinned at me, and we had a good, long laugh.
((This is a short story that I put together on a trans-atlantic flight back to University. My first post here on the forums. Enjoy!))
Years ago, before the Rikti War, I was a college student at Paragon University working part-time for M.A.G.I. as an intern. When the aliens attacked, they picked the M.A.G.I. Vault as a high-priority target, seeking to secure some of the most dangerous and powerful artefacts that our world has to offer. In a desperate attempt to keep them at bay, I donned The Suit of the Hegemon - an enchanted suit of armour that renders the wearer super-strong nearly invulnerable to most attacks. Its a relic of great power, and I was able to use it to hold off the aliens until some more experienced help arrived. I dont regret my decision; I probably saved hundreds of lives by keeping those artefacts out of enemy hands. After the fight, though, my life was permanently changed. I cant take the suit off for more than a few hours - it just reappears around my body after a short while. I had to drop out of school (It can be difficult to write or type wearing gauntlets), but I get to spend most of my time doing Hero work. I like being a Hero - I get to use my powers to help people. I really feel like Ive made a difference in the world.
I have arrested hundreds of villains, both mundane and super-powered. Ive stared death in the face, spat in his eyes, and lived to tell the tale. Ive even saved the world a few times. I have more adventures under my belt than most people on this planet, but nothing I have ever experienced could have prepared me for this.
Grocery Shopping -- Everyone does it, but for some heroes, its almost impossible to do without help. Its one of the things I miss most about being a normal civilian. I used to do it by myself, but I once had an incident that almost stopped me from ever doing it again.
It was an evening in the middle of last December, close to Christmas. There was no snow yet, but it was getting cold. I wouldnt have been able to tell if it werent for everyone else bundling up - the suit insulates me pretty well from temperature extremes. I used to do my shopping in Kings Row, since one of the store owners had given me a permanent discount for saving his shop from being torched by a group of Skulls when I was just starting out.
I landed about a hundred yards away, trying to touch down as softly as possible so as not to put footprints in the asphalt. As usual, people gave me astonished looks; even though this is the famed City of Heroes most normal people are surprised to see anyone flying around without machine assistance. Also, I tend to draw some stares wearing a blackened suit of armour covered with blood-red hieroglyphs. Even in Paragon City, its a bit out of the ordinary.
I crossed the street, waving hello and shooting smiles at my small audience. In front of the market, I gently pushed the door open and walked inside. The owner, Mr. Lo, wasnt in, so I told the woman behind the counter to say hi for me. I hadnt seen her before, but she didnt look very surprised to see me. I probably wasnt the only hero to frequent Los Market.
I carefully pulled a shopping cart from the front of the store, and proceeded to browse. It wasnt long before I was recognised.
Hey! Arent you The Hegemon? I heard from behind me. I turned around toward the voice, and found a guy staring at me with an astonished face. He was a big man by normal standards, but I knew some huge heroes, so it didnt take me by surprise. I liked being recognised, and Ive always believed that its important to be nice to people, so I smiled and replied.
Thats me. Pleased to meet you. Id have shaken his hand, but the super-strength sometimes kicks in at odd moments.
Oh, man! Youre the coolest! I totally know this guy whose brother you saved from the Freakshow!
We made small-talk for a minute or so, but I soon had to get on with my shopping. I told him as much, and he smiled and nodded. Almost as an afterthought, he brought up a request. Probably the reason he had talked to me in the first place.
Before you go, do you mind if I you know ? he started, wearing a pleading look on his face. I knew exactly what he wanted. With a mental sigh, I answered:
OK, but just once
Almost before I finished the sentence, the guy punched me across the face as hard as he could. It felt like a feather brushing my cheek. He held his wrist and smiled in astonishment.
Wow! You really are as tough as they say on the news! My friends arent gonna believe this! Take care, man!
I had a reputation for being impervious to harm. It was what I was famous for, and normal people were often asking to hit me and test the hype. I was OK with it, as long as they asked beforehand. Ive had the occasional stranger crack me over the head with something without so much as saying hello. I also try not to let anyone do it if there are people watching. If I do, it usually means standing still as hordes of people line up to take a swing.
That taken care of, I continued to push my cart through the aisles, picking up some food every now and then. Eventually, I made it to the canned goods section. At this point, I had a choice. I hadnt had chicken-noodle soup in months, and I was really craving it. On the other hand, trying to pick up canned foods required extreme caution. I decided to risk it.
I pushed my cart to the centre of the aisle and held my breath. Slowly and carefully, I reached across and closed my hand around a can of chicken-noodle soup. Elation started to build as I moved the can towards the shopping cart. I was beginning to think that Id have soup for dinner when a sudden spasm of strength overtook my hand and crushed the can with the full might of the suit. A brilliant spray of full, hearty noodles and 30% more chicken sprayed from the top of the can, spraying across my face and the front of my breastplate.
I heard laughter at the back of my mind, and instantly knew what had happened. It was Emir.
Emir was the warlock who had created the suit. Like me, he couldnt take it off despite several failed attempts. Eventually he died wearing it, and his soul got trapped inside. Im hopeful that Ill find a way to remove the suit before the same thing happens to me.
Emir is kind of a jerk, but you cant help but feel sorry for him. Hes been trapped inside the suit for a few thousand years without human contact. The suit itself had been sitting inside a tomb since his death and only recently got moved to the M.A.G.I. Vault. Thousands of years of boredom can lead to becoming a bit crabby, even if you sleep through most of it. We have a working relationship; he teaches me about the powers of the suit, and I give him some entertainment by fighting super-villains with it. He greatly prefers it to staring at walls. Sometimes, I even let him use my voice to shout insults at the people Im fighting. Hes really good at it. If Im not expecting it, though, he can turn the powers of the suit on or off at his leisure. Like now.
I didnt want people to think I was crazy, so I whispered to myself instead of talking out loud.
Come on, Emir, dont be a jerk. I really want to have soup tonight, and I dont want to make a bigger mess.
Useless Worm! How can you palette such filth!? I refuse to disgust myself with your chicken-noodle soup.
Apparently, they werent big on processed foods in Emirs time. I had my doubts as to whether or not he could actually taste what I ate, and I didnt want to rule out the possibility that he was just acting up to be spiteful. I gritted my teeth together in barely controlled frustration.
Fine, I replied with defiance, Ill ask for help.
With some grumbling, I felt him disappear from my mind. It was a good thing, too; I hated asking for help for something so mundane as picking soup cans off of the shelf. I was a super-hero, for goodness sake!
I quickly picked up a few cans before Emir could figure out that I was bluffing and placed them inside the cart. I would have to deal with smelling like chicken-broth for the time being, but at least Id be able to have soup for dinner. A small victory on my part.
I apologised to the employee rushing to clean up the mess on the floor and assured him that Id pay for the crushed can. I knew he wouldnt mind too much, but I figured that I should leave before doing any more damage. I pushed the cart to the only check-out counter and started piling my groceries on the belt. After I was finished, I gave her my credit-card number (It was an understanding that I had with the owner; I had no pockets in my armour, and consequently couldnt carry around a wallet).
Do you have a club card? she asked, probably for the hundredth time today.
No I replied.
She narrowed her eyes at me and twisted her mouth in an angry grimace. It took me a few seconds to figure out what was wrong.
Emir had activated The Voice - Its one of the more obscure powers that the suit has. Through some magical means, it empowers my voice with the ability to make anyone I say anything to really, really angry with me for a short time. It had its uses in combat with team mates - I could pull enemies away from my friends if I needed to - but was basically useless in normal life. I had only recently learned how to use it, so I couldnt yet figure out how to turn it off when Emir decided to play practical jokes.
The check-out lady grabbed a ball-point pen from behind the counter and tried to stab me over the median. I was quick enough to step backwards before she connected, but it only made her more angry. She charged around the check-out counter, screaming at the top of her lungs. I knew that it would be pointless to run; my best bet would be to wait until the spell had worn off. She wasnt tall enough to reach my face, so she alternated between kicking me in the shins and stabbing the top part of my breastplate. I didnt feel a thing.
The exasperated employee who had been busy cleaning soup off of the tiles in Aisle four looked at the scene to see what the commotion was about.
Whats going on!? He shouted.
Dont worry; itll wear off soon! I replied, soon regretting it.
With a battle cry and some unintelligible insults, he charged forward with the soup-encrusted mop high over his head. As soon as he closed the distance, he speared me directly in the face with the wet end. It didnt hurt, but the combined smell of chicken-broth and disinfectant made me want to gag. I could feel Emir doubling over with laughter inside my head.
It was the most embarrassing moment of my entire career as a Hero. For a full minute, I was assaulted from both sides by the check-out lady with the pen and the janitor with the mop. A crowd had drawn together outside to witness it. When they saw that I wasnt fighting back, they started laughing. At this point, I knew better than to say anything to the crowd. The last thing I needed was to have more citizens trying to beat down on me. I hoped that no one had called the police; I would have to give a statement, and I knew that I would be shot at if I said anything.
After the effects of the spell had warn off, the two employees stepped backwards, astonished at what they had just done.
What just happened? and Im sorry; I dont know what came over me! they said. Instead of talking, I just smiled and nodded. In seconds I had left the building and was soaring through the windy December sky.
Later, at my apartment complex, I was relieved to be home. I had yelled at Emir in mid-flight, but he wouldnt stop laughing at me. I was pretty sure that hed finished having his fun.
I knew that I would never go shopping at Los Market again. How could I face those people? It was just too embarrassing. My frustration built through the elevator ride. I thought that I needed to remove the suit for a little while; it was starting to get to me.
When the lift reached my floor, I stepped out and immediately saw one of my neighbours. Only heroes lived in this particular apartment complex, and I recognised this one as The Black Panther. He was making for the elevator with his customised, pieced-together Assault Rifle. A high-tech targeting drone floated above his shoulder, painting my body with laser-sights. He was a nice guy; we teamed up together from time to time.
Hey, man. Just heard something about you on the radio. Did you hold up a super-market or something?
I gritted my teeth, hoping that I wasnt officially a wanted criminal. He probably noticed my reaction and decided to drop the joke.
Just kidding, bro. The radio just said something about an incident involving The Hegemon at a local market and I figured you accidentally knocked a few shelves over trying to pick up some Hero-Os. Am I right?
I was relieved.
Heh. Yeah, something like that. I paid for my stuff, but Im pretty embarrassed right now.
Thats nothing. Happens to lots of heroes. Besides, it could be worse. Just imagine if you had fire powers!
We made some more small talk, and I let him go do his thing. I thought he had left for the elevator when I heard him say something from behind me.
Hey, Hegemon - Mind if I you know ? he started, patting the stock of his gun.
Dont even think it. I asserted, scowling at him from over my shoulder. I tried to sound as serious as possible.
I turned my back to him, turning the doorknob of my apartment.
A loud bang echoed through the halls, and it felt like someone had just pinched my butt. Hard. I looked over my shoulder, squinting at him and frowning. He grinned at me, and we had a good, long laugh.
The Ballad of Iron Percy