COT in the Thralls of Love: Under a Talos Sky
By
Anti_Product,
Posted on: 2005-03-22 07:36 in Roleplaying
Great story. Is there more or is that it? If thats it, very good ending and I hope you write more. If not, I cant wait for part 2. 
5 stars
Thank you for your kind words. And no, this was a simple short story. I'll write more later but it will not directly follow this. This was designed as an opening scene which would be followed by one of those obligatory "3 years laters" transitions. Maybe I'll pick it up sometime. You never know. Still you were kind to give this 5 stars. Cheers!
Anyone wiser or smarter than me know how to convince people to leave comments? This is the first I've ever written and some feedback wout be appreciated.
Heh, unfortunately I don't know of any tricks to get people to comment on stories. Having said that...
I really like this short story! It has good attention to some of the little details that help make a story come to life. Like the chill of the air, the sand on her blanket, moving her strand of hair...all of these things makes the story stick out and seem more real to the reader. I only wish I were so good at doing the same.
Good read! 
Hello, Kitty!
Okay, like you never heard that before, right? 
Anyway, I'm a relative newcomer to the forums, and I must say, I enjoyed your short story very much. It doesn't beg to have a next chapter or follow-up story, but it certainly comes across as a prologue of something that happens later. Keep up the good writing! I'll make a point of looking for more of your postings.
Two thumbs up!!!
Thank you all for your comments. I promise to write more someday and post it here. One question though, has anyone ever had any success in getting NCSoft to use their story and if so, how long did it take before they told you? Not that I think I have a chance but I want an idea as to how long I should hold out hope.
Wow, I submitted a couple of weeks ago and not a single message. 
I suppose I should have included a picture.
Poor MoonKitty, Dont worry, its not the corporation's praise that matters its the readers. They usually go for happy ending stories anyways. I guess they think we cant handle tragic tales or choosing the lesser evil. Oh well, I like characters to have internal conflict as much as external.
You win the Blood Wolffe award! Hows that?
Very Nice story Kitty
Me likes. Im interested in the rest of the story now. I particularly liked the dialouge with the Death Mage. (jerks to a controller, i know..) Nice.. looking for more.
Global: @Pandemonia
We're sorry. Due to the lack of adequate marketing, user patience has died 90+ days ago. Please try again sans "Soon."
wonderful tale. the ending was a bit tragic... but you know what? that's what makes for good storytelling - it's not always a fairy-tale ending.
5 stars from me too.
"City of Heroes. April 27, 2004 - August 31, 2012. Obliterated not with a weapon of mass destruction, not by an all-powerful supervillain... but by a cold-hearted and cowardly corporate suck-up."
very good! (now i return to all the I5 doom threads)
Bravo Bravo!! 2 Thumbs up and 5 stars!!!
COT in the Thralls of Love: Under a Talos Sky
by MoonKitty, Pinnacle Server
MoonKitty had arrived too soon. A lady was never supposed to be early as it smacked of desperation but she was really excited about this picnic. Having already laid out the blanket that would be their table for the evening, she kicked off her boots and walked along the beach of this perfect island in the remote corner of Talos.
She had wanted a picturesque setting for this their first date and MoonKitty had to admit, Talos sunsets are the best. "I have no idea why I'm so nervous, I've been on first dates before," she gently scolded herself. The sand felt good on the heels of her feet. Gentle waves lapped about MoonKitty's ankles as she neared the edge of the still chilly water, the smell of salt strong and pleasant.
They'd agreed that this would be an out-of-costume date, informal and as friends might meet. Still, it had taken her near two hours to decide on the tight fitting jeans and unadorned pink t-shirt. In a less than graceful moment, she plopped down on the sand just outside the reach of the waves to stare at the distant War Walls. They always reminded her of his eyes, his perfect, beautiful, blue green eyes. In his costume, all she could ever see were those eyes and his strong jaw and mouth. Such a pleasant voice, powerful build, and a smile that made her melt. After today she'd be able to add to the picture of what she just knew he looked like.
"You better be bring flowers with that wine you promised mister perfect," she told the wind.
Sighing, MoonKitty stood and returned to the blanket to inspect the spread. The wind had blown a little sand on the blanket but that was about it. Thankfully, there were no ants. Everything was ready, except for one think. Her hero wasn't here yet. Brushing a loose fragment of her long blonde hair back behind her ear she turned to inspect the skyline, searching for her date.
The sun was already setting which was a shame. She'd truly hoped they'd be sharing this moment together. As the sun moved slowly behind the War Wall, MoonKitty couldn't help but grin at the irony, "I'd rather be staring at the fire behind his blue green eyes." He had a way of making her feel as if she had just been zapped by one of the 'Masks of Desire' always seen close to Dark Astoria after dark. She hugged herself against a sudden chill, her eyes once again searching the sky for a sign of his approach.
As the light continued to fade MoonKitty's eyes made out a faint green glow growing more pronounced at the top of her island. She recognized its meaning, "Circle of Thorn, and up to no good. I'll be damned if I'm going to let them ruin this evening." Kicking her boots back on, she spied a spot where she could teleport to the top of the hill without being noticed. In a blink the distance was traveled and she could make out her foes. There were 7 of them plus the hostage, a guy by the looks of him, held in a spell being controlled by the chanting Death Mage. "Well I know something about control myself," she reminded her courage. A Death Mage and a hand full of archers?
No problem.
Stepping up over the edge MoonKitty walked into the view of the Circle's leader, "Hi guys. I'm going to have to ask you to move on. I don't want you guys messing up my picnic."
"What? Move along Barbie doll. We have no need of you right now. His one will suffice for our purposes," intoned the Death Mage in a singsong voice.
MoonKitty chanced a quick look up, "You see that? That is the moon."
"Yes, I believe I might have noticed it before. What of it? Be gone girl before I change my mind."
"Well you see the moon is a harsh mistress and the MoonKitty; even harsher." Throwing her hands high in the air she called upon her namesake to enhance her powers as individual wells of gravity formed around each of the COTs locking them into place six inches off the ground.
"Ha, little Barbie doll, is that all you've got?" With thumbs intertwined the Death Mage thrust his hands forward breaking her control of him while throwing his own spell that engulfed her in black icker. Dark tentacles broke the surface at his command reaching for her arms, her legs.
With fists clenched she ripped her arms free of the would be shackles throwing them high once again, this time with palms opening at the end. The Death Mage was launched high into the sky causing the tentacles to loosen their grip around her legs. As the Death Mage began his descent, her attention was diverted as an arrow ripped threw her shirt just opening a long gash across her midriff. Not life threatening by any means but still she tapped into the earth's power to heal as a green aura centered on her worked to close the wound, "You have RUINED my shirt. Now I'm mad."
Hands thrown down, palms back, a glint of anger in her eyes, MoonKitty drew her left hand across body in a quick jerk summoning a powerful singularity to deal with the archers. Forming amid their still rough circle, it began flashing brightly, throwing minions this way and that. MoonKitty allowed herself a small smile, "I'm sure by now you all understand the gravity of your situation. I suggest you lay down..." Her words were cut short as the Death Mage's shrieking black bolt nailed her square in the chest, driving her to her back, its crushing grip sucking the breath from her body and causing her heart to beat arrhythmic.
"Oh dear, dear. What is it about you capes that make you think you are invulnerable?" he sneered. "This one too thought he could evade our capture but like him and the others, you will all eventually fall Barbie doll."
MoonKitty's eyes shot open. No, it couldn't be. She struggled to stand as a second blast took her across the arm. The pain numbed it such that it was useless for aiding her to her feet. A quick look to her singularity said its battle had almost played out. In a moment it would be able to help her. She needed time.
"Why him? Why did you choose him?" her voice sounding weak and strained.
"Oh I don't know Barbie doll, I needed a warm body and he has one. Maybe he was at the right place at the right time. Maybe it was the flowers and wine he was carrying that caught my eye. It doesn't really matter. He's mine now as are you." The Death Mage made to throw another blast but a white flash from the singularity snagged him in mid motion.
"Locked," she screamed and with a great effort made it to her feet. Slowly MoonKitty closed the distance separating the two of them as flash after flash from her pet spoke of a hold the Death Mage would not soon break.
"So Barbie doll, what are you going to do now? Arrest me?" his defiant grin was maddening.
"My name is MOONKITTY," the full arm shot to his jaw jerked his head back with thunderous force. "Say my name! MoonKitty, say my name!" Shot after shot rained across this man...no, this monster's unprotected face. Her last punch like to break her hand but the accompanying crack signaled his jaw had given way first. "Try casting spells with that," she told his limp hanging body.
Cautiously MoonKitty turned to their hostage, laid out on the ground unconscious. She approached him with no small amount of fear. If it was him, will he be okay? Will he be happy or mad that I saved him? By the light of the moon and the War Walls she knelt beside him to stare at his face. That chin, that jaw line, that beautiful face. It looked like him. She placed a hand upon his chest feeling for a beat. It was there but seemed...quickly she once again reached into the earth as a green aura bathed them both in her healing powers. He spasmed for a moment then laid still.
"Oh my hero. Please, please open your eyes and let me know you're okay." She would not cry. He was going to be fine. His eyelids flickered but when they finally opened MoonKitty's breath left her. For what stared back at her was not but a pair of obsidian holes filled with...nothing.
She screamed. Oh how she screamed. And he said nothing.