Good Evening and welcome to Bat Outta Hell, I'm your host, Demonoid Phenomenon, demonic avatar from Hell, Demon Phenom to all you wonderful people!
Recently, my producers have been riding my [censored] to produce better ratings. My usual threats of violence not withstanding, I came across the idea of patroling the streets with Paragon City's super heroes. Now, as you all know, all demons have the innate ability to hurl balls of helfire and such, as you've seen me display with my comedically plump sidekick, 2nd Bannana. Say hello, 2nd Bannana!
2nd Bannana: Gold please help me...
He's such a sport! So I went on over to that side of town infested with that Outbreak. Yeah... the one thats been going on for how many months? Any way, The police found a blood sample, and apparently, walking 2 blocks is extremely hazardous and requires one of great power to accomplish. So after undertaking this perilous journey the likes of which only Tolkien could describe, I get sent to another cop, coincidentally handeling the very important task of standing around whirling his baton.
Anyway, according to this VERY important man, I need to learn how to use the powers I've had since being spawned in a pit of Hellfire. My instructors, some old guy and some guy who works for Crey. Because we all know multi-billion dollar orginzations need an intimate knowledge of demonic hellfire. Finally, i get to blow off some steam, frying some thugs. I'm then sent to another cop who is likewise standing idely about. At this point, its starting to feel like some cheesy video game tutorial.
Anyway, this guy says he has some inspiritions for me. Look buddy, unless you're really Lady Death, you ain't unspiring me. 4 charred thugs later, I'm sent to some guy named Coyote, a member of Hero Corps. Guess what he's doing? Helping to contain the Outbreak? Protecting the innocent? Nope, he's standing around, tells me to go retrieve the formula to the drug thats causing the outbreak. Good idea, entrust a rookie to this highly important mission where lives hang in the balance. I mean, I'm a demon and all, son of Lucifer himself, but doncha think I might be a lil rusty living among humans all this time?
Anyway, I get this damn formula and give it to him. This outbreak should be resolved sometime this millenia. So know, I'm sent to yet another human, a super-heroine named Miss Liberty, who's apparent power is to stand absolutly still in the same place 24 hours a day seven days a week. I swear, not even the sight of me, a late-night star, or my demonic... "enhancements" was enough to move that woman.
Anyway, here's a previre of tomorrows "On the street" segemtn, as I tussel with a bunch of kids calling themselves "the Hellions." Kind of ironic isn't it?
Stay tuned! On the show tonight we have Jeff Goldblum, who will either crack you up or bore you to death, as well as John Goodman and (provided John hasn't eaten him) the British Bastion of Justice himself, Sir Britain of the Conglomerate Supergroup Alliance. And now, Ozzy Osbourne's Soul and the Bat Outta Hell Band!
Good Evening and welcome to Bat Outta Hell, I'm your host, Demonoid Phenomenon, demonic avatar from Hell, Demon Phenom to all you wonderful people!
Recently, my producers have been riding my [censored] to produce better ratings. My usual threats of violence not withstanding, I came across the idea of patroling the streets with Paragon City's super heroes. Now, as you all know, all demons have the innate ability to hurl balls of helfire and such, as you've seen me display with my comedically plump sidekick, 2nd Bannana. Say hello, 2nd Bannana!
2nd Bannana: Gold please help me...
He's such a sport! So I went on over to that side of town infested with that Outbreak. Yeah... the one thats been going on for how many months? Any way, The police found a blood sample, and apparently, walking 2 blocks is extremely hazardous and requires one of great power to accomplish. So after undertaking this perilous journey the likes of which only Tolkien could describe, I get sent to another cop, coincidentally handeling the very important task of standing around whirling his baton.
Anyway, according to this VERY important man, I need to learn how to use the powers I've had since being spawned in a pit of Hellfire. My instructors, some old guy and some guy who works for Crey. Because we all know multi-billion dollar orginzations need an intimate knowledge of demonic hellfire. Finally, i get to blow off some steam, frying some thugs. I'm then sent to another cop who is likewise standing idely about. At this point, its starting to feel like some cheesy video game tutorial.
Anyway, this guy says he has some inspiritions for me. Look buddy, unless you're really Lady Death, you ain't unspiring me. 4 charred thugs later, I'm sent to some guy named Coyote, a member of Hero Corps. Guess what he's doing? Helping to contain the Outbreak? Protecting the innocent? Nope, he's standing around, tells me to go retrieve the formula to the drug thats causing the outbreak. Good idea, entrust a rookie to this highly important mission where lives hang in the balance. I mean, I'm a demon and all, son of Lucifer himself, but doncha think I might be a lil rusty living among humans all this time?
Anyway, I get this damn formula and give it to him. This outbreak should be resolved sometime this millenia. So know, I'm sent to yet another human, a super-heroine named Miss Liberty, who's apparent power is to stand absolutly still in the same place 24 hours a day seven days a week. I swear, not even the sight of me, a late-night star, or my demonic... "enhancements" was enough to move that woman.
Anyway, here's a previre of tomorrows "On the street" segemtn, as I tussel with a bunch of kids calling themselves "the Hellions." Kind of ironic isn't it?
Stay tuned! On the show tonight we have Jeff Goldblum, who will either crack you up or bore you to death, as well as John Goodman and (provided John hasn't eaten him) the British Bastion of Justice himself, Sir Britain of the Conglomerate Supergroup Alliance. And now, Ozzy Osbourne's Soul and the Bat Outta Hell Band!