Silent Suffering: Origin of The Mertseger




Darkness surrounded her. A weightless, comforting, blackness. She felt vibrations thrum through her body, familiar, quivering in her ears. Usually these brought her peace, but now, there is an agitation in them. Something foreign. Something new. She kicked out her extremities, trying in her way to ward this new and unpleasant thing off. She twisted about, trying to find her comfort again, eager for the soothing voice of the vibrations. Sometimes it was quiet and muffled, as if from a great distance. Sometimes it hurt her they were so strong. There was always a different pattern to them, all but one. This, the only constant, the one that brought her peace, was the one she needed now.

It did not come to her. The space she occupied somehow became…smaller. This frightened her further. She knew the place she was suspended in was not limitless, she had tested it before out of curiosity when she first became aware of being in this place of darkness. There was room enough to stretch, to curl or extend in comfort, but now, now things seemed to shrink. Terrified she held still, locked immobile in fear. If she didn’t move, perhaps things would return to the way they were. They did not. Ever so slowly she bunched up, wiggling to a spot that was not so cramped. Ever so often she was forced to move again. For how long this continued she did not know, it didn’t matter to her. Time was not a concept she knew of. There was only darkness and the vibrations.

She became aware of something else, a new development. This new thing distressed her more then either of the other two combined. There was a place above her that hurt her to turn towards. It was completely unlike the darkness surrounding her. Panic shook her all over when she realized the tightening about her, was bringing her towards it. It in turn seemed to be eating more and more of the darkness away. The thrumming reached a terrible peak of agitation in her body. She didn’t know where to turn. Space no longer existed where it once was below her. In a sudden convulsive rush she was pushed toward this thing that frightened her to no comfort.

Her world was suddenly bright. She did not know the word for it now, but she would later. Her mouth opened, taking in some foreign substance. It was thinner then what she was used to, seeping into her skin, making her feel light and heavy at the same time. She marveled at this, and the coldness prickling over her. Closing her eyes she quickly mastered filtering the brightness. In an instant her mind was assaulted with terrible pain. Sharp and acute it tore at her, stabbed unmercilly as the light had stabbed her eyes. She trembled all over from the force of it. It bombarded her in waves, louder then any vibration she had ever felt, only in her head instead of her whole body. She forced her eyes open, trying to make sense of the shapes in the light, monstrous and moving. The majority of the noise seemed to be coming from them, she wished they would stop. She tried vainly to make them stop. Opening her mouth again she sucked in some of the thin substance, forcing it out in a thin wail. It seemed to work as the noise lessens some, so she did it again and again.


This single sound, so soft, cut through the cacophony in her head. She knew it. It spoke of darkness and weightlessness and quiet vibrations. She stopped and moved her eyes, searching for its source.


Barely a whisper. Its particular tone so soft she had to strain to find it amid the others.


This single syllable repeated over and over, like a beacon just for her.

“No” she thought back to it. Happily imitating its familure inflection. She felt a surge of pride in doing this.

“NOOOO!” It screamed back. It was a long and stretched sound, loud and full of terror. She began crying again, striking out wildly with all five of her appendages.

Sharon’s eyes opened slowly, she could feel tears wet on her face. The pillow beneath her cheek was also wet, indicating many salty drops had made the trek from her eyes down the plane of her face to collect there. Sharon sat up in bed, drawing her knees up under the covers with a sigh. Grey light filtered into the room from a nearby window, throwing the room into a flat dull color. The color of anytime. The color that seemed to permeate her life. The perfect setting to wake from such an awful dream. Only she knew it wasn’t a dream exactly, but the moments just before and after her birth. Sharon could still hear her mothers scream echo in her mind as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. Sighing again, she padded over to the bathroom to take care of morning necessities.

Coming back into the bedroom, she sat on the edge of the bed, bent over, head resting in her hands. Every morning started the same, every nights-end signified by this reliving of those moments. Her shoulders shook with silent grief. Once when she was young, Sharon had tried telling someone, a doctor, about the memories. He had laughed at her, explaining how no one could possibly know of such things. But she knew, oh how she knew, and with the birth of every new day she was reminded again. Sharon wondered, as she often did at this time, if her mother ever woke in the mornings with similar dreams. Hers would of course be more of a nightmare, reliving hours spent in hard painful labor. Unsure is the child she carried would ever come willingly into the world. Her only reward after so much strain being unconceivable horror.

‘What did she see when I was held to the light.’ Sharon wondered straightening up. ‘A green tinted monstrosity covered in scales, with a tail? An abomination, she had unwittingly lavished with love and hope and pride?’ There was no anger in her thoughts, or self-pity, only a great well of sorrow.

Sharon stood up, moving to her bureau, stopping any further speculation on the subject. She tugged her uniform off its hanger and stepped into it, pulling the stretchy material around her body. She slipped in her arms and tugged it over her shoulders. That done, Sharon wrapped her hands and wrists in a length of cording sitting in a heap atop her dressing table. Also on her dressing table was a full facial mask, and a headdress. She donned those as well. She sat back on the bed and pulled her boots on. The terrible aching in her began to fade by the time she finished securing the wrappings on her boots.

Sharon looked at herself in the mirror. The figure of an adult female looked back at her, face obscured completely by pale green cloth, leaving only the eyes visible. The eyes themselves, a peculiar amber shade and slit like those of a cat or a snake. When she blinks, the image double blinks, closing first one then the other set of eyelids. Her body is covered in a green and yellow material, form fitting and almost organic in nature. Her hand wrappings and boots an indiscript color; the particular shade linen seems to take on with age and use. On her head is a grand headdress reminiscent of an ancient Egyptian pharaoh. Sharon nodded her head once in approval of what she sees, her mirror image also nods. This makes her smile beneath the mask. She turns from the mirror, catching a glimpse of her tail. It is thick and powerfully muscular, covered in scales, dark green on top and a pale yellow underneath.

Quietly Sharon leaves her room, crossing the house and out the side door. Outside the morning is still grey. The sky is shadowy, pregnant with pollution and rain. She takes a deep breath, eager to leave her memories behind and start the day. Despite the appearance of the dawning day, she feels the opportunities of life igniting the city about her with possibility. This day she will save a life, stop a kid from a life of drug dependency, or return a missing child to its loving family. As she takes to the streets, she leaves Sharon behind and becomes The Mertseger, with neither a painful past nor a hopeless future. Just the now that is, and the now she can improve with all the abilities granted to her….