The secret origins of the Fifth Column




Everyone knows that Requiem was the Nazi super who terrorized American Soil during World War II and most have found out that someone using that name has been raising the Fifth Column again, but what no one seems to know is where he spent the 'lost' years. Tonight, on VH-1's (Villian HQ 1) 'Behind the Mask - Requiem: Still Fascist after all these years.'

Our story begins shortly after the Nazis broke up at the end of World War II. Once the biggest thing in global domination, now just the butt of a lot of bad jokes. For Requiem, it was a time of healing. Having dragged out the Nazi world tour a few months after the breakup of the band, Requiem found himself at odds with American heroes, the now victorious Allied powers, and Former Gestappo Copyright Lawyers. This last group, more than any other, led Requiem down a seemingly endless spiral of alcoholism and depression.
Facing a near complete loss of his financial backing it wasn't long before the once-tenacious Requiem faced bankruptcy, jail time, and perhaps even his own demise. Using what funds he had appropriated from the Nazi Gold Reserves, Requiem opened a small malt shop in Berlin, Alabama which he called 'One Pure and Right Flavor Ice Cream Parlor' serving only vanilla ice cream. Hiding out under the name Rey Quiem, his business seemed to thrive in the small community but even then there were numerous calls by local leaders for him to diversify his menu (incorporating requests for chocolate, praline, and bubblegum flavors). During the late 50's, his 'UberFlavor' policy had started to wear on even his most loyal customers.

The 60's brought change and upheaval through the civil rights movement and nowhere was it felt more keenly than in the small communities in Alabama. Crumbling to public pressure from a series of income-draining sit-ins, Rey Quiem finally allowed chocolate and bannana ice cream in his shop but remained violently opposed to strawberry. Despite the noteriety of being mentioned in the later parts of Dr. Martin Luther King's famous 'I have Ice Cream' speech, the shop slowly lost more and more money until the 70's came along with only the memory of the One True Ice Cream company ever existing.

By 1974, Requiem, now down and out, took some brief solace working in Hollywood, taking bit parts in whatever b-movies his now fading celebrity could command. His big break came during the filming of The Blues Brothers where he was asked to play Nazi #4 (see if you can spot him in this clip: HINT - He's the one in the full mask and jackboots!) in the famous 'Illinois Nazis in the park' scene. Conflicts on and off camera with the films stars Dan Akroyd and John Belushi led to another failed career as the former Saturday Night Live stars made it difficult for Requiem to find work. John Belushi's famous quote 'Illinois Nazis... I hate these guys...' was directed at Requiem taking an extra doughnut from John's personal stash but was regarded as so patriotic and true to character that it was left in the final cut of the film.
It's been said that the path of excess leads to the temple of wisdom, but in the case of Requiem, his excesses in life had led to the White Acres Nursing Home. Now, at 68 and with his liver swollen from years of abusive drinking, Requiem seemed destined to eke out his remaining years attached to a catheter and endlessly telling stories about the good old days. He had hit rock bottom, not even seemingly aware of anything but what he saw on Geraldo. He penned several letters off to old friends, but received no responses. It seemed he was destined for the scrapheap of history, an aged relic of a genocidal cause now regarded as something of a joke.
Oddly enough, it was in this sad state where Stalinist Russian super-villian 'The Red Menace' found him. Like Rey, he too had found history passing him by after the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1991. Perhaps it was part of some otherworldly plot or an incredibly unfortunate coincedence that two megomaniacal old soldiers from different countries would find themselves in the same American nursing home almost 50 years after their respective villianous careers came screeching to a halt. Nevertheless, these two evil geniuses spent their days reminiscing about the 'good old days', playing checkers, and plotting the overthrow of democracy world wide.

It was 2001 before their plans were ready (the annexation of Poland was a particularly sensitive issue for both parties), but each had arranged a few sips of Immortality Serum and began to recruit followers for their latest attempt at an American coup d'etat'. This early formulation was at first called 'The Russian Nazi Project', but scored so poorly with test audiences that they wound up scrapping the name and just went out as the Quiem-Menace Band, specializing in terrorism, brainwashing, and Russian Folk/Polka Fusion styled music.

Fortunately for the world, the Red Menace was killed during the Rikti invasion, but Requiem, now emboldened by the loss of his former Comrade, decided to reform the Fifth Column and start playing the smaller clubs and alleyways of Paragon City.

The Statesman himself has promised to keep an eye on the Fifth Column which means that this once retired maniac may finally be getting the attention he has long deserved. Heroes everywhere need to watch out because Requiem is back.

Thanks for tuning in... we'll see you next time 'Behind the Mask'.

Six String