Elvis and the Alien Connection


Reify_Wrath

 

Posted

Hiya, I'm known as Englebert Humperdink... well, a Engeleber Humperdink lookalike, anyway.. I work in this great show out in Vegas... We're the All-Americana Review out of the Pythagoreas wing of the Luxemborg Hotel & Casino... Show's nightly at 10 and man, we really raise the roof...

But enough about me, I wanted to tell you about Buddy.. 'cause he's taking his show on the road to Paragon City. It all started years ago, we'd just hired him on to do the Buddy Holly segment of the Americana show. No clue what his real name is, but he definately fit the part... thin, kind of geeky looking... and those glasses... *chuckles* he comes in to meet the rest of the cast and there's tape on his glasses! I wouldn't have given the kid the time of day, but I wasn't running the show, that was MegaElvis' job. You've probably heard of him, big superhero out in Memphis who retired to become an Elvis impersonator. Well, MegaElvis ruled our little troupe with an iron fist in a velvet sequined glove, so he looks the kid up and down and just says 'Well, kid... let's hear you play.'

Sure enough, this little geeky Buddy Holly looking goof pulls out a sweet 1957 Fender Hollowbody, Ivory white and more than a little battered. What really suprised me was the kid could play... none of that screeching metal music the kids try to listen to these days, real good Rockabilly music. He starts out with some Buddy Holly songs, then kicks up into one of Mega's favorites, 'Hound dog'.

Sure enough, MegaElvis hires him on the spot... never did catch his real name, but Buddy wasn't exactly talkative about his past. Anyway, we're doing the show, making money, and Buddy's a rapidly rising star in the Celebrity Impersonation industry. We expand to two shows a night and after only a couple of months, Buddy's opening up for Big MegaE himself.

All that changed with the Rikti invasion, tho... Las Vegas got hit hard and for awhile, we weren't sure if the Rikti or the Desert Heat was going to kill us first. Water & air-conditioning went out when they blew up the power station and people were getting pretty crazy. It was chaos, but that's when MegaElvis stepped up to the plate, big time.

MegaElvis managed to calm the people down, keep the tourists happy with a song or two, and then started to gather supers from across the desert for the big counterstrike. I tell you for sure, the man lived up to the King himself that day. And all the while Buddy was at his side, whipping this long samurai sword outta nowhere and cutting up aliens while MegaElvis blasted them with his patented 'Blue Suede Bolts'.

Just like in Paragon City, we turned the tide... but it cost us a lot.. MegaElvis was mortally wounded and amidst the wreckage of the alien mother ship and Sands Hotel, I witnessed the King's Last Will and Testament.

I learned these words by heart, because they always inspire me... "Buddy, you're my successor... You've got to be the New King of Rock & Roll... but you can't claim the throne until you've gotten rid of these aliens... I fought them before, years ago... they hate Rock & Roll and they just don't have any juice in the caboose... no swing in their thing... These Rikti cats are square... but you've got to deliver the world into a future safe for Rock to keep rockin'.

With that, MegaElvis died, but Buddy just stood up, sheathed his sword back in his guitar and turned to walk off into the desert. I called after him, 'Where you going, Buddy?'

He didn't even look back, he just said 'I'm going to Paragon City. I've got a throne waiting for me there.'

And then he just disappeared into the desert... if you see him around Paragon City, give him some space but remember he's there to protect all mankind from those polka-loving dimension-hopping aliens. And tell him Englebert says Hi.

He probably won't say hi back, but like I said... he's the quiet type.

Gus Menderchuk, AKA Englebert Humperdink
Letting Paragon City know... the Six String Samurai is among you...


6-String Samurai, Uncrowned King of Rock & Roll, Pinnacle Server


 

Posted

Yes, but what is Elvis after? We all know that the term evolution is simply a bastardization of Elvislution, but where does that road end?


 

Posted

I'd say it's tightly connected to the Gracelandi factor. The theory that an Elvisite left outside its own microcosm will seek out a surrogate enviroment to convert into its nest.