What Villains are Saying about The Sly Fox




"I was working the night shift at the shop when a bunch of hopped-up Hellions burst through the door and demanded I give over my goods. Before I could work something out, this guy wearing a red Duster, mask, and eye-straining outfit to match appeared out of nowhere! 'I'm The Sly Fox,' he laughed, 'And you delinquents have stolen your last buck!' I knew the day was saved, heroes gotta save everyone, right?
So I laughed at the punks and told 'em to all go <colorful language> themselves! The masked dude took them all on at once!! The fight was on, man! I've never seen such a beating... I swear... and I thanked that hero from the bottom of my heart once we were both in the hospital sharing beds next to each other.
Of course, he still owes me for my medical bills, but I never saw that Sly Fox again. Guess he had other people to ummm... "save" ...
--Pop, owner of The Do-evil's Ma & Pop Shop in Steel Canyon

"Dat theif! He asked me if I wanted protet-tion, den when a bunch uv thugs walk up, he pays dem 50 smackers to go away. He den turns around and charges ME tree-fitty! Tree hunnerd fitty dollahs!! In-ci-dent-al fees, he calls 'em. Was I smoked! Dat Sly Fox is whack!"
--Leroy "Tree-fitty" Brown, local scrag-dealer

“Sly who…?”
--Bob the Burly, Arch minion

"Oh that Fox. We wrestled all night on top of Atlas! Every time I tried to tell him I had a headache, he would say something like "Can't take it? So, you're NOT the Queen of the Dark? Just a handmaiden maybe? Hmmm?"
Well I couldn't just let him get away with that, COULD I?? Honestly, the King of the Dark won't mind... it's not like I EVER see him anymore. He's too busy with his 'mid-life-world-crisis' anyway. Besides, he has a very small death ray, you get me? Sly, if you're listening, call me?"
--Queen of the Dark Seat of Evil and Lots of Other Really Nasty Stuff

"He's only trying to be as cool as Yankee Daring. And he is not!! He's just a shiffty snoop who conned me out of my golden pistols! Paragon City ‘Villain Pistol Inspector’ my ass…”
--Fools Gold Shooter, Supervillain

“Sly Fox?”
--Bob the Burly, Arch minion

“Me and the gang were cracking this safe, when this voice tells me ‘You don’t need to see what’s inside the safe. It’s not the safe you’re looking for. It can go about it’s safe business. Move along.’ That gets me all confused, right? So after I get into a fight with my boys about how Star Wars quotes are overdone, we turn to finish the job and the safe is open and the money gone! All that’s left is some monopoly $$ with the note:
'You guys are as weak as the prequels. Go buy yourself an Ewok Plush Toy. -With love, The Sly Fox'
I hate him! I hate him so MUCH! **** that George Lucas!! ...oh and the Fox ticked me off too”
--Pick, member of The Crazy Crackers

“Oh… the shady guy? Red clothes? Wit da hat? What about him?”
--Bob the Burly, Arch minion

“I don’t know why everyone calls him a thief. I mean, he’s a hero. He can’t be a thief. He’s never stolen anything in his life, and he conducts his heroics in an honorly and upright manner. And what’s this talk about him trying to be like Yankee Darling? I don’t see that. You think he would really steal another heroes M.O.? Come on now…”
--Liar-Liar-Pants-on-Fire, Compulsive villain

“Oh tay… let me get dis straight. You intaviewing about dis Sly Fox guy. Ok, like the Yankee Daring piece I did before. You nevah aired dat, you know. I told my mom I was gonna be on TV and EVERY ting! Oh yeah? <beep> you! OH YEAH!! YOU-------- **LOST TRANSMISSION**
--Bob the Burly, Arch minion



"Ok, you all know me. I'm not your average dumb villain, yeah? In fact, I'd go so far as to say I'm one of those "3-dimensional" types you can sympathize with and are secretly rooting for to win, right? Well then explain to me how a hero can manage to foil my plan to hypnotize the world leaders, and STILL manage to find the time to steal off with my lovely assistant and pull my pants down around my ankles?? And what was the TV crew doing there ANYway? IT WAS COLD IN THERE!!!
--Mezmorazmo the Sympathetic

"Brains... Mmmmm want brains... Sllllyyyy FOX... he trick me... then he say... me no... have brain... hurt feelings... much crying... want brains... Mm... ... <sniff>
--Unidentified Weeping Zombie

"As I conjecture on who Sly Fox really is, I'm fascinated by the obvious flaws to his character, namely, his penchant for gaining confidence and his robin hood complex... plus, he's just a BIG JERK who fooled ME , of all people, into thinking he was my accountant! Took ALL my Mind Ray Fund money too... big... meany...
--Big Brain the Articulate Arch Enemy

"Ok, this one time Sly and I are going at it. Me trying to analyze his weaknesses with my mind twang, and him dodging and weaving shooting insults at me every chance he gets. Well, he got me steamed so I called him a 'Sissy Zorro!' So then, he blinds me and knocks me down with some wind or something, ok? And here I am thinking, that's it here comes the pummeling... but what does he do?

It's real quite, and I hear his voice up above me go 'Do you think I really look Zorro?' Like he's concerned or something. And you know, I could really feel the hurt in his voice, so I said 'Nah, I was just trying to rattle ya. You are totally original, Sly!'

Geez... I guess even that confident, egotistical, Zorro-look-alike's got problems...
--Mr. Problems, Psychic Shrink (catch phrase: TELL ME ABOUT YOUR MOTHER!!)

"Sly has been a thorn in my side from day ONE! And he's so fricken literal! I told him that he was a thorn in my side once, and what does he do? He steps on my tail, and he sticks a thorn in my side! It hurt, that thorn in my side, you know? I couldn't get that thorn (that was in my side, ya know?) out! All he could do was laugh, while I was complaining again and again about how painful the thorn in my side was! I don't like his sense of humor...
--Robert the Redundant Rodent

"He stole my golden rooster once... I was gonna use it to conjure up HeeHaw, the Donkey Demon... and reign terror on all farmers everywhere... but he stole it... however, while he was running away laughing with it under his arm, he tripped! He ACTUALLY tripped. I couldn't believe my luck! So as Cletus and John-Boy brought him back to me, I just guffawed and said 'Who's so sly now??' You know what he did? He started to cry. Right there, in front of me...

Well gee, I never seen a grown man cry before... and then he goes 'Are you gonna make me squeal like a pig...?' And you know, that just pisses me OFF! Just because I'm from the South does not make me a SODAMNIST! Gad-DAMN I hate that movie Deliverance... anyway, he just disgusted me so much I told my two goons to let him go. They protested but I cut them off and said 'Sly... just... get OUT...'

It was five minutes later, when I finally allowed Cletus to speak, that I heard 'Gee bosh, why ya go and let the Fox take the gold roosty too?'"
--Fred the Fraudulent Farmer

"He got me a pony! So I stopped my robot army and gave him da codes. I got a PONY NOW! Weeeeeeeee!"
--Baby Genius, Evil Toddler

"That Sly Fox, he was just so good with kids, ya' know? I guess that's what attracted me to him. Well, that, and the fact that he got me way drunk first..."
--Nubile Nanny, Baby Genius' chief lieutenant

"Your puny planet is no match for Zorg! Zorg kill you all once Zorg get out of prison. Sly Fox will die for saying Zorg not have proper Green Card and leading Zorg to prison! RRAAARRGGGHHHHH!!!"
--Emperor Zorg, leader of Zorgia and Immigrant Alien

"Si, that Sly Fox ees a muy disimulado tipo. He not only broke the Tortilla Machine of Doom, he called me a lazy, no good hack who wouldn't know a decent Mexicano if they walked up to me and spat in my face! I way more Mexicano than any hombre I know! Just look at my nombre!!"
--The Great Gringo Gonzalez .... or as he's known to others...
"Gringo the Hypocritical"