City of Nerfs- what CoV would be like if the hereoes got to decide everything.
Ah the Rogue Isles, the ultimate locale for villians the world over. Here evil rules the streets, its a dog eat dog eat dog life, greatly suited to weed out the small timers from those who will one day raise up from the rabble to spread villiany and darkness across the globe. our story starts on the isle called Mercy. Here the new recruits to the call of evil start their new lives.
Having just gotten of the chopper Stalker looks around at his new home. "Wow it was really nice of Lord Recluse to get me out of jail" he says outloud, upon hearing this Brute walks over. "Hello, I couldn't help but overhear that Lord Recluse sprung you out of jail too". Stalker scratches his head "They sprung you too?" "yea sure did, heroes throw me in jail for jaywalking, gave me life for it, can you belive that?" Stalker shrugs "yea well I missed a trash can with a paper wad and they put me on Barry Manilow row for it." Brute stares at Stalker for a minute then starts crying. " Oh my God, they did that to you? How can heroes be so cruel? I'd rather commit sucide then go there." Stalker rubs his wrist, "Don't think I didn't try. By the way, I was told i could get some lessons on being a better villian here, who do i talk to for that?" Brute points to a man clad in gray armor, "Um, you can talk to the guy over there for that, but you won't like it." Stalker blinks and turns a concerned look to Brute " Uh, why not? its not any worse then Barry Manilow Row is it?" Brute shakes his head and sighs, "No, its just Lord Recluse signed a treaty with the Heroes of Paragon City, so now they get to make all the rules for us." Stalker stares in disbelief,"WHAT?!?! What in the world was he thinking? Is he a complete idiot or what?" Brute shrugs," No one knows why he did it, even Ghost widow had a go at him about it. Thats just how it is now, heroes makes the rules for us, and we have to follow em." Stalker sighs and shakes his head,"Well hopefully the heroes will see the value in fair play and balance, like they claim they do." Brute laughs a sad little laugh,"Don't bet on it, well i've got to go whack a large group of Wolf Spiders, and do it with one hand tied behind my back. Well good luck to you."
Stalker watches Brute walk off wondering if he would have been better off on Barry Manilow Row. "Well might as see about those lessons, it can't as bad as he's making it out to be." Stalker walk up to the Arbitrator,"Excuse me, but I was told that i could get some lessons here." Arbitrator turns a cold look on Stalker,"Name?" "Stalker" "Occupation?" "Assassin" "Very well, heres your spoon and trash can lid." Stalker is shocked as he takes the items,"Um what are these for?" Arbitrator sighs and shrugs,"Heroes have ruled that assassins are only allowed to use spoons for a weapon, and trashcan lids for defense." Stalker stammers out a reply as his mind whirls," How am i suppose to assassinate anyone with a spoon or defend myself with a trashcan lid?" Arbitrator shrugs," Well first off, i don't know ask the heroes, its their ruling, second off, you're not allowed to attack heroes, so be very nice and polite when you do ask them." Stalker shakes his head "What the heck am I allowed to kill then?" "Villians only" Stalker''s eye widen so much they seem about to drop out of their sockets," I thought there were zones where villians were constently battleing heroes for controll here?" Arbitrator sighs and kicks a rock at his feet,"There are but those police drones now encircle our bases preventing anyone from leaving. Also because we're not allowed to attack heroes a police drone drops from the sky and sends the villian into the hospital if he does. As such the only thing we can do in them now is battle heroes on the steps of our hospital, as they've made us remove our drones from the areas" Stalkers feels like crying at this point, but he is a villian so he shrugs it off quickly, "Ok well atleast I still have the ability to hide, so this can't be all that bad" Arbitrator shakes his head,"Oh yea, I almost forgot about that." He pulls out a chain with a cowbell on it and puts it around Stalkers throat, padlocking it in place. "there we go, can't have an assassin running around without their cowbells, makes it too hard for the heroes to find them if they do"
At this point Stalker falls to his knees and begins to cry, now knowing he would have been much better off stayin on Barry Manilow Row. Ah poor poor Stalker welcome to your new home, welcome to the City of Nerfs. I would whish you good luck, but heroes have made it against the rules for villians to have good luck.
