Warbaby

I'm not your Square, Squire!

I'm not your Wrinkle-winged Spoonpit, you Constrained-Corncrake Singer-with-it's-leg-fast!

I'm not your Warmonger, you Sticklyback Tickler!

I'm not your slacker, Snogglesbum!

Good! Just the thing for me to hide some arsenic in. I, of course I hand it back to you saying "Thanks, but no thanks, I'm allergic to chocolate". You, being not a wasteful kind of chap drink it down in one gulp. Ho! Hum! Diddly Dum! You brought about your own demise didn't you?

To the person below me I give a huge great pile kindly thoughts.

Ain't that the best? Blitz Bomber!

I'm not your crater-knuckled sewagewaffle, you confused Confuzzler!

I'm not your Pilot, Fricklefrazz!

I'm not your cursedsorcerer, you Wombat!

I'm not your Monkey-holed manballoon, you encrusted crustachean!

I'm no maROON, Cooking Fat!

Thank you, most civil of you. I love those prank guns, but unfortunately for you the prank gun you give me fires poison arrows and says "Gotcha!" on the sign. Of course the act of me firing that gun at you results in a slow and agonising death that lasts 7 days, 7 hours, 7mins and 7 seconds. At the end of that time you are praying for a blessed release from your agony. Sleep Well! My insect loving friend.

To the person below me I give a bag of pink and white marshmallows.

I'm not your half-hamster/half-elder berry! Handsome!

I'm not your GiggleSticks, Lovey!

I'm not your Dipdop, Pancreas!

Tehe!

I'm not a Dirty Filthy Tree Hugging Hippy, Stoopid!

I'm not your Sir, Charlatan!

I was never your Zerg, Sweety!

I'm not your hammer toe, me old fruit!

Well! How thoughtful! I take the 2000 PP's and one by one I push them, first up your right nostril and then your left. That seems to be taking a long time so I stuff the remainder down your throat. This suffocates you - difficult to breathe with stuffed up nostrils and gullet isn't it? You expire mumbling something about curses and hauntings.

To the person below me I give cursedsorcerer's eulogy.

Cow's stomach and associateds? no thanks!

Two rounds of hot buttered toast, served with orange/lemon marmalade or strawberry jam, with a hefty dollop of thick Devonshire cream on top?

Not bluddy likely!

Shepherd's Pie, made with fresh minced Lamb, onions, diced carrots, swede and mint gravy. Topped with a creamy mashed potato, covered in a light dusting of cheddar cheese.

I'm not your Angry Cop, Bon Ami!

That is so sweet and I'm eternally grateful for your generousity. I take your Twinkie and change the i into an l - Twinkle. I notice that your have a twinkle in your eye, so I send that twinkle and you way out into the stratosphere where you join with the all the other twinkles and there you remain until eternity, twinkling merrily away.

To the person below me I give the gift of a warm fuzzy feeling.

I'm not your skippy (isn't skippy a kangaroo?), Mucker!