Jaffa98

While the response appears to have been meant to be derogatory, he might have a point. Television started on paper somewhere, the writing behind the plots is done the same as any other writing. Sometimes the plots aren't so good or involved, but that's not always the case. You also have the problem of a less controlled medium, since actors are interpreting the writer's intentions. You can have the greatest story in the world, but cast Pee-Wee Herman and Rob Schneider as your heroes with Kid Rock as the police chief and you are taking the hacksaw to even the greatest piece of heroic fiction. "Let's fight crime today! Nyah-huh!" *Rob Schneider runs into a closed door while the police chief is stoned in his office... with his crew of course*

Just do the same thing I mentioned in my post here, try and catch what the writer was going for, note what the actor adds/takes away in their performance, and see if it gives you any inspiration. Always do your best to add your own flair so as not to be reinventing the wheel, there's no fun in duplicating someone else anyway.

Thanks for the insight Valicade.

Use variety in words. You can't go wrong there, I'm not sure why it works but monotony (like he went to do this, then he did this, then he did that) draws from a story for me. Not that I'm some great writer, I just like diversity in the choice of words.

We're not all walking dictionaries either, but that doesn't mean you can't take a sentence that looks just like one from the last paragraph and try writing it two or three different ways, especially if you want it to stand out like an important scene. I'll post a snippit of something I messed around with for a friend about our characters. The story is titled "Riding the Rail," and it's designed outside the bounds of what powers do in CoH(with good reason, no good story has a guy with a smoke grenade owning half the city). In this case, Super Reflexes has a bullet-time feel a la the matrix or Max Payne. I never have gone back to polish this, but the original audience liked it as is so I never bothered.

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She was just creeping up behind the freak furthest in the back, when they all stepped to the side making a path up the middle to The Jaffa. For Alana Da'Straka the world froze, a freak in the back who was concealed by the fog had been charging the stolen weapon, a Crey 3800x Railgun Prototype, and now had it aimed directly at the defiant Jaffa. She heard every lap of the surf, the resounding dong of the buoy just off the harbor, even the sound of the frame of the railgun vibrating under the force of the magnetic fields entering their pre-fire spasms. The weapon, capable of releasing forces found only in the cosmic theatre, was now pointed at her best friend, and he had no idea what was coming.

Jaffa stood, adamant in his resolve.

-------End Part 1

Panic. Loss. Fear. Shame. The flood raged on against the white background, no end in sight. At the center of it was a face, a woman's face. Delicate and fair, pleading and fearful, she screams warnings... she cries in sorrow. He cannot understand her, because the decision is already passed, the moment of truth now gone into history. The flood shoves him further into the brightness, he wonders what Alana Da'Straka was trying to tell him, but the thought is lost as the warm light overtakes him.
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Riding the Rail (Continued)

In a flash, Alana was upon the thug, her forearm rising to disrupt the shot already aimed true at her friend. With her speed there was time, she always had time. She could see he was just pulling the trigger, plenty of time.

Her reality was rocked as a shockwave flowed outward, distorting all time and space as she saw it. An object was violating all the current laws of balance, and nature was resisting. The symbol of Yin and Yang on her chest quivered as the silent calm of the scene was slammed into chaos.

A green light burst from the barrel of the railgun, aluminum peeling itself apart as it tore through the space between it and it's target. Cold fear overtook Alana as she regained her center and the world slowed back down, the pier below her shaking as another shockwave rolled toward her from the direction of her friend. She raised her head toward the Jaffa, dreading what may lay before her.
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Again this is just an excerpt right in the middle of parts 1 and 2, think of it like changing from 1 comic issue to another. Word choice is more important than action because it is what conveys your action, but that doesn't mean using the same words a lot is bad either. It just provides a different look, using similar or even the same words can have the desired effect just as well. Besides, being a good writer is about finding your own style, take a look at mine and see if there's anything you can add to what you already have.

Just don't be as overly melodramatic as I am and you should be great.