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Generally griefing is pretty obvious -- you step into an area, BLAM! get wasted before you can do anything, and then get a tell about how you are lame and so-and-so is superior because he just worked you because you are lame -- well, that's griefing. It can be a little trickier than this but it's like what Justice Stewart said about pornography -- "...I know it when I see it."
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I agree with Lord Recluse's definition of griefing. Personally, I've only really witnessed people training monsters into areas where the aftermath is a mass of dead bodies on the ground. Pretty obvious griefing. Anything beyond that has been watching people deliberately being offensive on broadcast or in tell and there's a simple solution to that: /ignore <playername>
As for the concern that heroes and villains communicating on broadcast will be considered 'griefing' with all the threats going back and forth, etc ... it falls back into that category of "you'll know it when you see it". Honestly, it isn't really that hard to recognize roleplayed banter vs. absolute obnoxious behaviour.
As a matter of note, I think that there are some people who take the game entirely too personally, and that is just as much cause for trouble as griefing. I've seen people having discussions or even just asking questions on broadcast, and veteran players calling them names, swearing, yelling for them to shut up and leave them in peace. (I say veteran players simply because I've seen their names in the game for as long as i've been playing). Sometimes, I find these players more offensive that the new players and their billion and one questions. If the people on broadcast are really messing with your desire to have fun then change tabs so you don't see the broadcast blather.
